He is getting me gifts left and right for me and my daughter. I am not attracted to him in any way shape or form. I don't want to be mean, but I don't know how to make him back off. He acts like I'm his girlfriend. He had a jealousy fit at the club, got mad at me and left. I didn't invite him to join my group.
2006-12-26 08:19:11 · 19 answers · asked by SugarCookie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This happened to me a few years ago while in college but there wasn't any gifts given. This gentleman wanted a relationship with me but I only liked him as a friend. He would wait outside for me to go to class, he would sat outside in front of the cafeteria when he thinks I would be going to the cafeteria. He would watch me as I ate my food. When I left the cafeteria, he would get up and leave also. If I talked with another gentleman he would get upset and leave nasty voice mail messages. I didn't do anything for him to think we were a couple (never went out) I only talk to him as a friend about school and different issues going on in the community.
When I saw that he thought more of us a couple, I immediately, told him that I wasn't interested in a relationship right now. I explain to him that I didn't appreciate him leaving nasty voice messages. I quickly reminded him that "FRIENDS shouldn't act this way towards one another". After the conversation, he stop speaking to me all together. Fine with me.
Be careful in your situation though because this man has already given you gifts and you accepted them. He can become obsessive and stalk you, so be careful. Don't accept anymore gifts and honestly if you haven't used the gifts he has given you, consider returning them to him. Explain that you no longer can accept gifts from him because you feel as if he thinks there is more to the friendship. You just have to be firm with him otherwise, he will continue to make you feel obligated to be with him since he has given you gifts.
2006-12-26 08:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With people like that you have to be direct or run the risk of having it turn into a real 'fatal attraction'!
Do not accept any more gifts from him. Be assertive in letting him know that if there was something you did to make him feel he had any 'rights or privileges', it was done inadvertently. Don't be rude and do not do it in public!
He has to understand that all he is doing is living out a one-sided fantasy that will lead him to a greater let-down than this if he continues.
2006-12-26 08:27:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, you should have never taken the gifts. In his mind because you accepted the gifts, you are considered his girlfriend (some people think this way). Stop accepting his gifts immediately. Let him know that you are not interested in a relationship with him.
2006-12-26 08:35:11 · answer #3 · answered by stergre1975 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be up front with him and tell him that you are not interested in pursuing any type of relationship with him other that one friendliness as in coworkers. Explain to him that this is considered a casual type relationship and to pursue it any further would be useless to him since you do not feel anything romantic for him. You may have to approach your supervisor as this is actually harassment if he continues. Good luck and I know that this type of situation can be very intimidating and difficult to deal with. Remember it is him that is causing this and not you so don't feel that you are to blame in any way.
2006-12-26 08:23:53 · answer #4 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not accept his gifts because he is giving them to you to get you to like him and you have no intent to like him more than a friend. I would talk to my supervisor that he is harassing you and that they need ot have a talkw ith him. The next step is to file charges of sexual harassment and even stalking cause he shows up where he is not invited.
2006-12-26 08:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the SAME thing happen to me at work too!!!! This guy was like 13 years older than me and ALWAYS buying me and my kids gifts,and acted jealous if i talked to anyone else......the only way i could get rid of him was to show him i liked another guy in front of him........let him SEE you like some other guy,or pretend to just so he can see you don't like HIM!! good luck!!
2006-12-26 08:25:09 · answer #6 · answered by sugar_n_spice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep away from the guy. Most of these people give in order to get something back. Don't hesitate to be firm (some people would call it mean, but who cares), without that he'll think he can get away with anything he wants to. You have to show him you're in control and that you're not about to drop your drawers just because he thinks you're his.
2006-12-26 08:42:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Office Romanace rarely work. AVOID THEM AT ALL COST.
When you accept gifts, it sends mix signals that you are interested. tell him that you are NOT interest. Make sure that a friend is the distance in case he has a fit.
2006-12-26 08:28:47 · answer #8 · answered by 2 know Him & 2 Make Him known 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 STOP accepting gifts because your sending him the rong message. #2 TELL him your not interested in him #3 By allowing him to behave in this manner YOU are leading him to believe that your relationship is more than it is. HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS
2006-12-26 08:54:01 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him on about the jealousy fit, ask him what precisely he was jealous of and then explain that he had no right to be.
2006-12-26 08:22:31 · answer #10 · answered by teef_au 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋