It started many years ago in school, when we were close friends. Nothing ever came out of our past because we did not want to ruin our friend ship. Many years later we meet again and because of the industry we are in we work closely together. It went from small comments to innocent flirting to we kissed one day. It has never went any further, so why the attraction?
2006-12-26 08:13:28 · 33 answers · asked by I Wish I Knew 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men and women both find others attractive. If they don't they are liars. A married man sets his eyes on a hot young chick and he is gonna look and have thoughts of would could be. Same thing with a woman who sets her eyes on a hot young man...the difference acting on it.
Maybe it was an innocent kiss...who started it? Has it happened again?
I don't see anything wrong with flirting and attraction...it just depends on how far you go with it.
Try talking to him...see what he thinks. Maybe you are reading too much into it.
2006-12-26 08:23:29 · answer #1 · answered by ~Just A Girl~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you get married doesn't mean that you will never be attracted to another person. Too many people go into marriage with that unrealistic expectation, and at the first little flitter of excitement about someone else, they let that take over and the marriage fails.
You didn't want to ruin a friendship before, so you didn't get together. Now you are willing to not only do that, but ruin two marriages as well. Why? Because marriage gets boring, and the grass always looks greener on the other side, hon.
You probably don't have a choice as to whether or not you work together closely, but you did have a choice with each progression of this. You decided to "make small comments", and could have left it at that. You decided to flirt, and could have stopped there. Now there has been a kiss, and you get to decide what is or is not next. This is not some roller coaster ride you are at the mercy of. It's your life and your marriage, and you're driving this car. If you steer it in a direction from here that leads to stress, hurt, and betrayal that you can't take back, you can't blame the fates.
Do you really think that he's the one that slipped through your fingers? It's not likely. It's what they call the 7 year itch. Everybody gets it, sooner or later. It's normal, and I'm not trying to bag on you for it. But don't confuse it with something else. We can be attracted to the mailman, George Clooney, or an old boyfriend. That doesn't mean we would be better off with that person, that they would truly reciprocate our feelings, or that a relationship with them would last or be worth giving up what we already have.
Before you let this go any further, think hard about what's going to happen. Play through your mind your husband's reaction....his wife's reaction....how after dealing with all of that stress, divorces, and the judgement of your behavior by friends, family, and coworkers- you probably wouldn't end up with this guy anyway. So if you're just not happy with your husband, then leave him and find someone who will make you happy. If it ends up later on being this guy-great, but I doubt it. THis is just convenience. If you ARE happy with your husband, take those little sparks of excitement home to him, and experience how much it can improve what you already have.
2006-12-26 09:05:48 · answer #2 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The attraction comes from your friendship and you two never did any thing together and now that your married and he is, it makes it more exciting. Because of this attraction your going to hurt many people. You need to ask yourself is that wroth it, for a few hours in the bed with a old friend. If something did major happen between you two, I bet your not going to last with him. You need to talk to him face to face and tell him the kiss and the attraction you feel for him your going to have to let it go, because you love your husband. And no one else has to know. And keep it like that.You need to read ten stupid things couples do to mess up their relationships by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger and the proper care of feeding of husbands.
2006-12-26 08:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, "why the attraction" doesnt matter at all. You are both married. Now, are you going to let satan use something your mate does or doesnt do, get you closer to this guy? Or will he use an excuse of what his wife did or failed to do to help get closer?
Come on. You both made decisions and one of them was to not to be with one another. Right or wrong, regret or not, you decided that already, move on. You both have married others and those others rightfully expect and deserve what you promised them.
There is always a justification or something we can use as reason for doing wrongly. Dont fall for it.
2006-12-26 08:20:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u really love ur husband then u need to stay away from this other man. it doesnt matter how well u knew him in the past, ur married and committed urself to ur husband. u got a man and love him, grow with him. dont give up on ur marriage for a high school fling that never worked b/c of friendship. it wont work now b/c ur happily married. so stay away from him and get closer to ur own man. be a friend now and dont screw up ur marriage or his.
2006-12-26 08:24:18 · answer #5 · answered by JANE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe the venting of other's pent up frustrations you are having to endure here. Sheesh people go get some therapy.
Now, dear asker, I think the fellow that said the reason is because you are human is right. It's normal for people to feel things for each other... the important thing is to keep perspective, and keep smart, don't do anything that's going to screw up your life.
James
2006-12-26 09:00:18 · answer #6 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your playing with fire and all your going to get is BURNED!!!!!!! How do you think you would feel if you knew your husband was attracted to another women and they kissed????? Maybe your marriage is not all that great or you never would of been tempted in the first place.Wise up before you lose your husband AND this other guy.
2006-12-26 08:19:08 · answer #7 · answered by sugar_n_spice 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because when people get married those things don't just turn off. People are still attractive and it worse when you get along and you have history. Some things weren't resloved before and now they are back and you just have to figure out what you want.
2006-12-26 08:21:05 · answer #8 · answered by Dizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forbidden fruit.. you both want what you shouldn't have. Stop what you are doing now before it does go further and you hurt your family and his family. It's not right what your doing. If you don't want to be with your husband then leave him, but don't cheat. your going to have to live with that guilty the rest of your life. Really think about it please...it's not worth it.
2006-12-26 08:22:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it happens because your attraction never went away, you just repressed it. You never got closure, you just moved on. You are trying something that you always wanted to , nothing more. You are probably too comfortable in your marriage, and you are taking it for granted. It happens once time passes.
2006-12-26 08:36:43 · answer #10 · answered by Samster 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋