we fight all the time because he will not stop watching this. he waits until i leave the house then he gets on the computer and looks up porn he even knows the women in the porns by name. It bothers me alot and i have told him and asked him to stop looking everday and that i didnt care if it was just everynow and then but he does it everyday.. i mean am i not enough. When i ask him he says its nothing i am making too big of a deal about it. Then he says he will stop and the next day i see where hes looked again. I feel nothing i say matters to him. He tells me if i stop spying that we wouldnt have to fight over it but if he would stop we wouldnt have to fight either. what should i do because i feel i am trapped and that i am not enought for my husband and he doesnt care please help me.
2006-12-26 07:04:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave him. I had to leave my husband because of this ****. He was addicted to it, and would not stop watching and materbating. I tried talking to him for almost a year, then I gave up. He was sorry, and swore he quit, but he never would.
Honey, leave him. You deserve someone who wants to spend their life with a real down to earth person, instead of some stupid movie that will never be real. Good luck.
2006-12-26 08:07:17 · answer #1 · answered by ss_silverado01 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It amazes me how many people on here say throw away the computer. For an addict, they will go to the next best thing. They will find a way to get a fix. I would think once she throws the computer away he will resort to a magazine or a video tape or DVD. Better yet, he may go to the strip club. You cannot stop him that way. What will putting on th parental controls do? He's not a kid. The idea here is to solve the problem for good.
He has to want to stop for himself and you cannot make him stop. But one would think that he would want to in order to save his marriage. You will either get tired of him doing it and leave him, and he will go find somebody else that can accept his problem; or you will stick with him and deal with the problem. It will not go away and you will need to deal with it.
2006-12-26 07:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think that if your husband in being self destructive to you marriage, you should probably separate yourself from the situation. That's going to be tough, especiallty if you have children. Your husband has got it in his mind that pornagraphy is acceptable. There is not too much you can do to change his mind. Except pray. Right now he is harming himself and your family but he does not realize it. Im not trying to be judgmental because I have looked at porn and I probably will again. But I will not let it come in between me and my wife's relationship. I realize that watching porn is not good for my relationship with my wife even if I watch with her. Anything that takes away from my wife being the object of my sexual desire is wrong.
2006-12-26 07:49:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's just a natural urge it's nothing personal. Men have sex on the brain all the time. Learn to deal with it and not take it so seriously.
2006-12-29 05:51:37 · answer #4 · answered by Paranormal I 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're playing a game of tug of war. All you care about is his doing what you told him to do.
Try not checking up on him....
As long as he's there for you, and not neglecting, what do you care what he does when he's alone?
In martial arts (Judo) one is taught that one should use the enegy of their opponent. Try going the opposite direction with this.... instead of pulling against him, try pushing. One day, ask him to watch the porn, and then lavish all the lust that it inspires on you.
Best of luck... don't let this tug of war, spoil your relationship.
2006-12-26 09:17:12 · answer #5 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe he has a problem and make sure its not little girls or boys, or he maybe want you to watch with him, try making your own porno for him to enjoy, you can't get nothing out of a computer, magazine or out of a tv.
Try to keep him happy he might get to liking your movies more than those on the computer good luck
2006-12-26 07:24:58 · answer #6 · answered by broken 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It basically comes down to how much you're willing to tolerate his addiction. If you can't stand it, then you need to move on from him - otherwise, the fighting will continue and get worse and who needs that?
2006-12-26 07:45:50 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister is going threw the same thing, but its not the computer he watch the porno, she cant go in the room and watch it with him becuz he wants to be alone. and she cant go to the bedroom til he is done. I dont know why, and she hates the way he does. It's kinda perveted.
2006-12-26 07:48:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
sad, damn sad. he isn't getting what he needs from you and he might not ever get it. Turn off your internet... that should wake him up, or get a parental block device and shut it down.
Or watch it with him and tell him you will "hurt" him after and during the porn... give him something real to play with, you.
2006-12-26 07:24:08 · answer #9 · answered by Patrick G 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He is addicted to it. This does happen and he might need counseling on this. Not that he will agree or admit it. Start looking at male porn for awhile and see how he likes it.
2006-12-26 07:22:22 · answer #10 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋