I want to change...?

Question

I really want to change, and today I finally realized how I've been acting. I've been being selfious, and hateful to people, also I'm always in a bad mood, and I'm outspoken and rude. I really want to change but I don't know how to start? Please any advice.

Answer 1

Good for you for wanting to do this. It takes a very big person to admit thier faults and to want to work on them.

I have actually been in your shoes (many years ago). I realized that I was acting terribly, especially to those Iloved most. I guess they were theonly ones who would tolerate it. However, eventually even many of them made the decision to either end our friendship, or just lose contact. It took some really good friends to finally have the courage to tell me how I was behaving. At first I was angry to hear it, and defensive too. Later, I realized they were right. After a few more incidents, I decided to make a change for the better.

I sought a good therapist. It took a few before I found one I felt comfortable with. If you have insurance, it is covered. if not, there are several Therapists who will accept a reduced payment. Do some homework when you go. Ask them how many people they've treated with similar issues and thier success rate?

Start writing in a journal. Write out what you are feeling and why. You may also want to write letters to people you have hurt, maybe even one to yourself. Even if you never send any letters out, it helps to just write them.

Not hugely religious, but God has helped me so much. Prayer really helps. It is a personal thing for you and only you know what is right.

Lastly, make a decision that you WILL change. Anyone who says that people don't change is wrong. I am living proof of that. People don't change because the CHOOSE not to do it. Changing is hard, it hurts, it's scary and even lonely sometimes as you weed out old behaviors and even old friends that aren't good for you. However, trust me, it will be the best thing you ever did! It will take time. Look at all the time it's taken you to become this person you are now. It only makes sense that it will take time. Really, anything worth doing is worth doing right and taking the time necessary to do so.

Good luck! You will get there. Believe in yourself, make ammends, and make plans!

Answer 2

The first thing you really need to do is change your friends. If you can't do that then you are pretty much stuck where you are and being how you are. You need to put yourself around people that you want to be like. If you are in a bad mood, I might suggest getting check for some type of depression. Don't worry, everyone goes through some kind of depression in their life and if you know someone who says they don't then they are lying to themselves. Being out spoken isn't a bad thing you can actually use it too your ability, advance in jobs, etc. There is a difference between being truthful about things and being rude. Check to see which you really are. I'm a very outspoken, truthful person I don't have many friends but I'm happy. I'd rather be that then two faced. First and foremost be truthful to yourself. 1st step get checked for depression! :)

Answer 3

Good think is that you realized and accepting your bad behavior.
Not everyone does that and I think you are half way there to reach your goal.

You realized you have a bad ehavior towards to other people.
Now, it's time to sort it out. At the end of each day, think about what you've done and said. Then write it down. And really think about it. Turn the tables around and think how you could've feel about your action.

Then think about how you could've acted and said.
When next time the similar situation comes, try to act differently.

But don't be so careful about what you because it will only make you frustrated and you will might end up hating yourself.

Everybody make mistakes. Believe it or not, most of people feel bad at someof their actions and words.

Don't be so hard on yourself and love yourself. Be confident but not rude. If you start appreciated more of yourself and what you've got then you will do better with other people.

Good luck^^

Answer 4

True change begins within yourself. It sounds like you've taken the most important first step toward that change. Being rudely outspoken, selfish and hateful to others can certainly keep you in a bad mood. How do you WANT others to treat YOU? That's how you should treat others.

Being outspoken, by itself, isn't bad...it's the rude and selfish part that's the problem. Other people have opinions, too, and theirs are just as important as yours are.

Answer 5

Well... Now that you realize this. Tell yourself when you hear people talking badly about someone, Not to get involved. When you have the chance to, open a door for someone else. When you walk by someone, make eye contact and smile. A smile really does go a long way. As for being selfish, these are things you can work on yourself. Its not easy to explain how to be LESS selfish, other than just think of others instead of yourself. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

That's Great!!!! The only thing you have to realize is that alot of people wont believe you. You have been acting this way for a loooong time and for you to say today that you are going to change is going to take a lot of hard work. You need to show people that you are serious. You cant change the world in one day. You are going to have to prove to people with your actions that you are ready to change. Also try counseling. It will be hard but with determination you will get through. Good Luck.

Answer 7

first you have to find out why you are the way you are and what led you to become that way. it is easy to point the finger at everyone else.but ultimately the buck stops with you. i am responsible for anything that happens to me...and in almost every situation that is the truth. if you boil down any mood or attitude or problem you have you find that it was a result of something you have done...i know it might be a hard concept . but you are responsible for all your actions and moods.

Answer 8

you know what your problem is, so now you just have to fix it. in any situation, try doing something that you normally wouldnt do. like if you would normally say something really rude to someone in a situation, then try saying something nice instead. at first, you'll be doing a lot of lying and you'll probably be saying a lot of things you dont mean, but eventually (maybe give it a week or 2), you will be able to be naturally nicer without having to lie. also, you'll naturally be in a better mood because when you're nicer to other people, other people will be nicer to you and you'll probably make more friends. good luck!

Answer 9

i used to be the same way and finally one day i got sick of it b/c deep down i am a nice person. i just started to make a conscious effort NOT to be mean to others. everytime i would think negative thoughts, i would try replacing them with positive ones, like being grateful for the things i have. maybe you should also consider hanging around people who are positive and that aren't so jugdemental and kind to others. in time you will see a change in yourself and be happier like i am.

Answer 10

Yes it is very difficult to change without realization and help from within. Chanting the Maha Mantra. It is the process for self realization. It brings one to the highest platform of our true self and reality. go to krishnaculture. for details and stephen-knapp. for more understanding and Universal Truths. Read e-book Towards World Peace Seeing the Unity Between us All. We have to really understand our constitutional position or our change will not go very deep.