Does anyone here actually believe?

Question

that counseling can help or simply prolong the pains. There are certain things that you cannot just reason through.

What's the best that you can hope for? Can passion be revived through counseling? I don't think so... Counseling at best can answer some questions and make the facts more obvious.

Answer 1

Studies show that as far a relationships go is is almost always too late to revive any relationship by the time the couple seeks councling so no it dose not work

Answer 2

Counselling can answer those questions and lead to some paths for couples to discover the hidden things, such as resentments, etc. that hold one another back. Once the relationship is on the way to being mended, depending on what the situation was, of course passion can be revived.... maybe not if there were cheating or abuse, though, for example, but if it were a trust or other emotional issue, it is surely possible. Don't be such a cynic....
But you are right - not everything can be "fixed" by counselling, it is just an option in the proper circumstances.

Answer 3

Although counseling can help some, it can not help all. If there are reasons that counseling will work for you then go for it. It could help but like you said it could just prolong things and bring up all the feelings at once. It can bring up things you didn't even know about or help you things in a different way. The choice is yours to go or not.

Answer 4

It all depends on your definition of counseling. If you see it as the Wizard of Oz then you're doomed, but if you see it as a way to understand your emotions then you will definitely get something out of it. Due to my medical background I can say that counseling helps you only if you are an active and willing participant. If your expecting to just sit there and not have a role you're just wasting your time. In relationship counseling both people have to work at it not just one because all relationships are two way interactions. If your partner doesn't want to get involved in mending the relationship then counseling will be useful for you to figure out what course of action you want to take - this may include separation or divorce.

All in all counseling is an effective tool to help understand the problem; not reason through it. If you can understand what happened, then you can figure out what you want to do about it.

Answer 5

I think counseling can help people understand themselves and each other, their motivations, and help people modify their behavior. So in that sense, it can certainly help a relationship to run more smoothly.
But it cannot create or rekindle an attraction or passion that is not there.
When I was just a kid, I heard the expression: You cannot light a match twice. To an extent, that is true in relationships. If you let the fire go out, it is hard to get it started again.
On the other had, a long-term relationship ultimately is more about friendship and understanding than it is about romance and passion. If you become best friends, the sexual enjoyment can be there even if the passion of early romance is not.

Answer 6

(I assume you mean marriage counseling)
Well, that depends if you've already decided to get a divorce. If you are truly open to change, then counseling can help.

When you met your spouse, they must have had some qualities that inspired you to commit. Try and remember those. Try to think of what isn't working. That's what needs to be compromised. Don't focus on the bad stuff.

I do suggest counseling. If you can go, having a mediator will help both of you see yourselves in the relationship. They'll probably even do roll playing. (Don't do that at home folks)

Anyway, you never know . . wouldn't you rather be back with them instead of ending the relationship?

Answer 7

I guess it depends on the situation at hand. No passion cannot be revived through counseling. I think the best you can hope for is a way to vent your confusion and once said, you can deal with it better.

Answer 8

All counseling is for is to bring a mediator into the conversation who can help guide a couple through the steps the need to go through to properly communicate and resolve differences between them. If one or both of the people aren't open and don't have their heart into getting things straight, there is little the counselor can accomplish.

Expecting a counselor to fix a marriage is like expecting your child's teacher to teach your child everything they need to know about life and raise them. The teacher can only bring the basics to the child, but the rest has to be taught at home.

The marriage is the same way. the counselor can only try to give the couple a road map to recovery, it is up to them to follow it earnestly.

Answer 9

Counseling does not help. One person is not interested and merely uses it to legitimize their dislike of the other ( and other relationship) or one person simply wants out of the marraige and counseling is a way to end as "friends" so he or she won't be taken to the cleaners. The only counseling that I have heard of that works is with someone religious. They will not say that personal happiness is above responsibilty and vows or say that it is "OK" to have an affair or leave your spouse with the kids. A "lay" counselor simply encourages divorce and "personal fulfillment.".

Answer 10

Not only that, but if one of the people involved is adamant about not having any issues or being a part of the problem, then the counseling is an exercise in futility. I tried it with my wife once, but she and the counselor ended up "ganging" up on me in the session and we never went back. The couple truly has to both buy in to the concept and want it to work. Or it is doomed to fail.