i have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years. pretty much he is all i know. but i dont know if there is anything better out there for me. i want to keep this as short as possible bc i am at work but what i need to know is how many of you men are truly good guys. my boyfriend is short tempered..spoiled...obnoxious.... me names from time to time..moody...doesnt go out of his way to please me, pretty much doesnt do anything to please me....i am not happy with our sex lives...he doesnt really want to spend time with me...and then 2 days later he is the exact opposite a totally perfect boyfirend...please tell me what you think of this situation. some days i am afraid he might really hurt me and then other days i am completely in love with him
i am very pretty..i feel he is lucky to have me..i have taken him back after bein cheated on by him 4 times hes has physically and mentally abused me...he is not patient..he doesnt like being at home i just need to know r all guys like this
2006-12-26 06:14:39 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There's nothing wrong with your "boyfriend". He's treating you exactly the way you're allowing him to treat you.
There is something terribly wrong with you though. You stated that you're very pretty... however, you're allowing yourself to be treated like crap. Even an "ugly" woman can command true respect and appreciation from a man. Do you know why? Because she chooses to make sure the person she's with treats her with love, respect and kindness. Don't be fooled being pretty and knowing that you are a beautiful person are two very different things. You've allowed yourself to be disrespected on numerous occassions and made inappropriate choices to allow this person to continue dogging you as well as remain in your life. Why? Several more questions...Do you have low self esteem? Do you feel this is the proper way in which you deserve to be treated? Do you enjoy this type of attention and treatment from him? If the answer is no.. then why continue in the same mess year after year? Do you feel there's some flaw in your character that would (in your mind) make it ok to be treated this way? Would you continue a friendship with a girlfriend who treated you this way? Why have you allowed it to go on for FIVE years? What's your relationship like with your father? Did your father treat your mother nicely? Do you have any positive examples of how a real man should treat a lady?
Be honest when you answer these questions and consider the questions deeply prior to answering....
You need to move on and don't continue in this distructive realtionship for another second. Get yourself together through counseling/therapy so you can understand what transpired in your past that conditioned you to choose to remain in such a negative realationship and for so long. Once you get to the heart of that... you won't continue the cycle of choosing men who treat you like crap.
Remember two things. A person will only get kicked in the butt when they bend over and allow someone to kick them... and
The definitiion for insanity is... doing the same thing over and over again (and it's ovbiously not working), and expecting different results.
MOVE ON... get it together by seeking guidance and help and don't allow this mess to continue a moment longer.... Seriously!
2006-12-26 07:02:56 · answer #1 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to be honest with you it seems like your to good for this type of relationship. Let me ask you this does the good out weight the bad..? And it sounds so, like if half the time your crying and as soon as he's nice to your or whatever and you get a chance to get over it he's back to the same B.S., I feel like it could one of a few things. First of all if he really loved you I can't really see him treating you like crap, so often you know? Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse no one deserves it .I can see him having a bad day and needing to vent and even taking it out on you every blue moon because as humans that's what we do from time to time but it's not a regular thing and from the way it sounds it's beyond that. Him going off shouldn't be routine you know? Or he may love you but has some deep rooted issues that have nothing to do with you, and isn't quite sure how to express these things. Have you ever sat him down and told him how him acting out makes you feel? Me and my guy with threw something simular and I told him look I can't deal with the way you act toward me sometimes for no reason I let him know it hurt my feelings and confused the hell out of me and he did what he had to do to get it together. So tell him about it first if still no change, then give him a choice which really and truely if he doesn't change after the talk then maybe it's time to let the relationship go. It may have run it's course you know it may be over. And remember you shouldn't except anymore than you deserve as a person, your still a human being and you be treated with respect like your one. This is something that has to be done no matter how hard it may be because the verdict may not be what you want, but if you don't do it things are only gonna get worse and then your gonna have a emotional break down. Be strong good luck!
2006-12-26 06:33:37 · answer #2 · answered by sky g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No..he's not being rude..he's being abusive. To both your emotions and you're body.
You are making a mistake that many women make and are too scared to get out of a relationship because they don't think they will find better. But you are worth more than that. Don't settle for less. NEVER settle for less, you Deserve to have a man that will love you for who you are and treat you with respect. He is not doing either of these, and a relationship without respect and trust wont go anywhere. Why should you be in a relationship if you are unhappy? Its only to be expected that there be disagreements in your relationship but yours aren't disagreements, its like someone is trying to warn you of what things will be like the whole relationship. But if you have the power to get out of an abusive and unhappy relationship (which you do), do it now.
There are plenty of wonderful guys out there. You've got the whole planet to look at, hon. I know they exist because I snagged one when I thought there weren't anymore.
Let him go. Even if he tries to come back, remember what things were like when you were in a relationship and know that there are very rare times that people will actually change. Its something very hard to do, and most wont be willing to do so. Please heed this advice, before things get worse.
The best of luck --
2006-12-26 06:22:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I am not a guy, but I felt compelled to answer you. I dated a guy who threw me against the wall. Once was enough for me. no one deserves to be abused. When they come back and apologize and then act sweet it is because they feel guilty, but then to continue to do it, that is bad. You deserves so much better. You are a very good person on the inside and why let him wear you down and break your spirit?
Why would anyone call anyone names that they loved? Why would anyone Hit those they loved? It is agains the law to abuse someone. It is called domestic abuse and he could go to jail. The cheating thing.... I would worry about getting something from him that he had acquired from another woman. One day of being nice out of 30 days of abuse does not make up for it.
It is time to leave him. You are a much more deserving person than that. I have been sent a wonderful man from the man above who treats me with the upmost respect and cares for me for who I am. He never even wants to hurt my feelings. We are open and honest and we communicate. We have God in our lives too. That is the most wonderful feeling. Far better than the guy I dated who caused me so much grief and tears.
Please grab the strength you have within you and leave this guy. God has a wonderful man for you too. Hugs to you. My prayers are with you as you begin a wonderful new beginning.
2006-12-26 06:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not all guys are like that. There are guys out there that are responsible, loving, understanding, ones that don't cheat on you or hurt you.
He is not being rude, he just an a$$. Nothing is going to change, he is going to keep doing the same things including cheating & abusing you. That is not a good relationship. Get out of it while you can!
2006-12-26 06:20:20 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1) We are unique individuals however, you can categorize us into groups, and should...
2) You need to be single so you can experience the differences in men and life standing on your own two feet...
3) You must establish standards of how you expect to be treated by men and people in general... then you will have something to measure reality with.. i.e. Joe treats me like this.. on my scale that is a 3.. not good enough.. Jim treats me like an 8 and so far that's as good as it gets... can I live with 8 for a while?? etc.
4) BY NO MEANS SHOULD YOU SPEND ANYMORE TIME WITH THIS GUY... HE IS NOT TREATING YOU VERY WELL AT ALL AND YOU DEFINETLY DESERVE AND CAN GET BETTER...especially if you're a hottie..
2006-12-26 06:26:27 · answer #6 · answered by gjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok i am a girl under 20 and i definently know how they are and what they do.But if he does not treet you right and does abuse you and does not take you anywhere and does not have true feelings about you and you r afraid of him at times i would not really call that a relationship.I dont think he has true feelings about you but i think you should just let him go and go easy on him.And no not every guy is like that there r some out there that treet the girls right please them,take um out,and act like a true boyfriend and will never hurt a girl but dont meen that those guys r geeky.They could be hot but sweet and caring on the inside.So you just need to find the right one.And girl its not easy.But you will find your one and truely Romeo one day.And i am pretty sure you will.U just got to look in the right places.
2006-12-26 06:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES he is! GET OUT while you can. Life is too precious to be wasted on someone who treats you badly, has betrayed your trust at least FOUR times. Not a single thing of what you've written has shown any sign of him loving you. I'm sure there's a better man out there for you! Just be brave and remember he will do all he can to prevent you from leaving. You deserve so much better in life! Go for it!
2006-12-26 10:41:38 · answer #8 · answered by Tantalizing Dutch Delilah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No all of us guys are not like this.Usually a nice girl gets together with a jerk like you have and think they can change them.Well don't think you will do that.He has cheated on you 4 times and it won't stop there.You are just someone to fall back on when he does not have another woman on the side.Don't wait till this guy phsically hurts you because he is allready hurting you mentally.You can do better the sooner you get away from him the better.And there are nice guys out there that would treat you good.I would love to find a girl that likes to be treated well and be part of my life.Good Luck
2006-12-26 06:21:14 · answer #9 · answered by sparky75us 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Rude? He has gone far from that. Way beyond. I always believe that when a guy abuses or has abused you, it is best to move on and forget about him. He doesn't respect you. The fact that he cheated on you FOUR times, means he doesn't love you. He is short tempered, spoiled, moody and obnoxious. Listen to yourself. Do you think he is really worthwhile? Of course not. Move on for your own sake. This idiot doesn't deserve you.
2006-12-26 06:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋