Do u miss ur pre-mommy days??

Question

I know that babies r the best blessing anyone could every have but I must admit that sometimes I do miss those days before I had my precious daughter, when I did have time for myself and when I could leisurely enjoy a meal at a good restaurant etc etc .
I feel guilty and horrible when I have those thoughts and I was wondering if any other mothers felt the same way sometimes ?
Thanks

Answer 1

I definitely feel the same way...

I even have thoughts like... What if I only had one child... we would be so happy... and I would have enough money to buy them everything they want...

I feel guilty about it too... but I guess they are only thoughts, and I still love my children.

Answer 2

Don't feel horrible. You love your babe. I miss having two hands. I wish I was an octopus so I could do everything at once. As she is getting older I'm enjoying her more and more and I am forgeting what it was like when I wasn't a mom. It is a total life adjustment. I also miss being able to pick up and go out on last minute notice or go on a trip without taking two days to pack. You won't miss those mommy days for long. Soon you'll be missing when your baby was so little.
The other thing is your change in identity. In the first couple of months, I really was just a mom...that's all I had time and energy for. Now I'm starting to remember how to be a wife again, a good friend, a student, etc. I'm kind of re-identifying myself as I was and as I am as a new mom as well.

Answer 3

My son is almost 8 years old now. Sometimes I think I would like to have another baby, then I babysit for someone and I have to do the diapers, the bottles, the car seat. Then I think I'm so glad that I don't have a baby. LOL.

I totally get the restaurant thing. I used to see people eating out alone and I would think.."That's so embarrassing. I could never do that." Now I love to sit and relax at a restaurant without the arguing kids and the constant need for something else. My younger sister will see someone eating alone and she'll say exactly what I used to say. I just look at her and smile. Her day is coming.

Answer 4

First of all, never feel guilty for feeling that way (unless it becomes an obsession)! The most important thing to your sanity is to remember that you are more than a mother... and sometimes doing that includes recalling the pre-baby days. That doesn't mean we're unhappy or don't love our babies.

Believe me, when my kids are pitching a fit in the store, my "pre-baby memories" come FLOODING back. I find it actually helps to calm me.

And be sure to pretend you're back in the pre-baby days every now and again by getting a baby sitter and going somewhere fancy and quiet that you would never DREAM of bringing a baby/child to. :)

Answer 5

hahaha! My baby is only 4 months old, but I barely remember what it was like when I could: shower when I wanted, leave the house when I wanted, go to sleep and wake up when I wanted, not smell like spit-up, have an actual conversation with my husband, and not carry around a 20 lb diaper bag all the time.

I wouldn't give her up for anything in the world, but yeah - sometimes I miss the pre-mommy days.

Answer 6

I am the mother of a two month old, and I love her more than anything but I miss my freedom sometimes to. Don't feel guilty. We all want and need time to ourselves. I miss jumping in the car and going to visit friends out of town (to do it now is such a hassle, packing all the baby stuff. etc.) I miss eating HOT meals. I miss my long soaks in the tub. I miss shopping. I miss talking on the phone. I miss going out on bike rides with my husband. I miss my husband!!! Its just life, and its normal for you to feel that way. Again DON"T feel guilty.

Answer 7

I do miss it sometimes, But i don't know how i lived without them when i think back. But yes i know what you mean, I do get time for myself and have wonderful inlaws who watch them when i want to go have time for myself, and a good boyfriend i am blessed that way. Don't feel guilty and go out and spend some time with and old friend..Yourself. get a good sitter and get rid of the guilt, It ain't like you are gonna leave your kids ALL the time! Good luck and have fun!

Answer 8

I feel exactly the same. No need to feel guilty - it's not like you're providing less for your daughter because of these thoughts. What can help is when you have these thoughts, think of them as nostalgia, which is comparing the best from your past to the worst in your present.

Answer 9

Sometimes I miss the carefree days before I was blessed with my son. when I have these feelings I am also usually racked with guilt for having them but I know that its normal to feel this way. I take one day a month and my son stays the night at his grandparents and I take that one night and enjoy adult time, even if its just staying in and pampering myself.

Answer 10

oh, yeah!!!
all the time. sure, our babies are the greatest things to ever enter our lives, however, those carefree days of clubs, restaurants...even a warm meal at home! are done....for now.

my little bean is 3 months and i still have times when i'd like to go out and get sloshed, but i don't b/c i'm a mommy now and he needs me.

i take solace in knowing that sooner than i realize he will be a teenager and able to stay home alone and daddy and i can go out and have a good time on occasion and get a bit of that life back.
oh, yeah....don't forget about retirement!!!!!!!!!!!!

take care and know that you are never alone in the world of parenting:)