I asked a question, do you believe you are responsible for your life?

Question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkG_a_.3WbXF89TV60Xi4r7sy6IX?qid=20061226104030AAxDvCx

This question had a premise. Everyone who answered agreed. Though I did get thumbed down. I asked this question because I hear a lot of people place blame on things that go wrong in their life on someone else or a group of people. People of all races and religion and both genders place blame on others. But what they fail to understand is that they have the ultimate control of their action and reactions, their feelings and what they decide to get out of the experience.

Do you blame someone for things that go wrong in your life or do you look at these experiences as life lessons and learn from them to be a better person?

Answer 1

The answers you'll get for this question will vastly vary, because of the many many different opinions and perceptions that exist in our world, that are a result of different ways of growing up and diverse values.

My opinion is that you are always responsible of the conscious reactions and decisions you make. No one else can control your feelings or emotions -- you can't say that someone MADE you mad, because YOU are the one who is thinking thoughts that rouse anger, regardless of how much someone else is trying to trigger those thoughts. In the end, you are responsible for the thoughts you have, because a lot of the time your thoughts lead to feelings. And reactions occur because of feelings, both good and bad feelings.

For the most part (there are almost always exceptions to anything, if you really think about it), you are responsible for the actions you make, the ones that you can control. Anything beyond your control -- such as being born with a disease, or being abused as a child -- isn't your responsibility, but the way you react is.

As my 8th grade social studies teacher said, you are constantly making decisions every conscious second. Like, right now, I'm making the decision to type what I'm typing and continuing to answer this question, regardless of whether I'm aware of it or not. When you live in the moment, you focus exactly on what's happening in the moment, not things of the past or future, and when you do that, you are conscious of many of the decisions and actions you make.

Ultimately, you are responsible for all the actions and decisions you make, but if something occurs that is out of your control -- and the list of these possiblities can go on forever -- that isn't your fault, but the way you react to it is your responsibility.

Hope this helps, and happy new year. ^_^

Answer 2

"Do you blame someone for things that go wrong in your life or do you look at these experiences as life lessons and learn from them to be a better person? "

The mistake you are making--and that most people make--is assuming there is an either/or answer--a simple formula to deal with this issue. And, unfortunately, there isn't.

For an individual to take the approach you describe is actually a very good attitude--i.e., skip the blame game and focus on working with "the hand you are dealt"--but it's simply not an adequate answer. The reason is that it assumes (implicitly) that the individual is a "free agent"--able to act for (or against) their own interests.

And the reality is that many people don't have that luxury--in fact that's been true of MOST people through history--and still is. For example, here's three examples in which you cannot argue that the individual is responnsible for their life conditions--the most you could argue is thatt they have an obligation (to themselves) to escape/heal from what has been done to them:

1) A slave (and I don't just meant in history books--slavery is still commonplace)
2) An abused child (of which there are millions in this contry alone)--an experience tha tdirectly affects the person's psychological ability to cope--to deal with their situation (which is, of course, the sine qua non of taking responsibility).
3) The person denied equal status in society--e.g. African Americans under the "Jim Crow" laws of the past--or otherwise barred from participating fully in society.

The point is not that "everyone else is to blame"--not the case, dexcept rarely. My point is that, while it's ultimately up to the individual to respond to their own circumstances, it is equally true that oftentimes that individual is trapped in a game with the cards stacked against them. Apportioning responsibility means taking all these factors into account. That's not a nice, neat, simple answer or formula--but it is how the world is.

Answer 3

This is an open ended question. I mean if you are driving down the road on your way to the store and a drunk driver broadsides you is it your fault because you decided to go to the store? Is it your fault because you live too far from the store?
In most cases I do believe we are responsible, at least in part, for the things that go wrong in our life. So the question really shouldn't be do we blame others but it should be can we forgive others as well as ourselves for the choices that are made?

Answer 4

Ok. you deff. shouldn't blame someone for what goes wrong on your life. It's YOUR life, yOUR decisions, YOUR actions.. you are the one who should take control of what's going on, and if something is going wrong in your life, then yea you should learn from those mistakes, that experience whatever it may be...and try to be optimistic about it. When people blame things on others,when they project their own thoughts & feelings onto someone else-that's just a self-mechanism they use..to hide what they are really feeling.

Answer 5

Where is the fun, blameing yourself. That means you screwed up, or failed to make the right choice, Then you have to admit you are not perfect. And that maybe you can be wrong about other things. No I am a better person because, i realize that everyone of you is jealous of me and trying to take me down.

Answer 6

One can always say that he/she learns from experiences, and doesn't blame other people, but people mostly blame other people for their problems - it's a human thing.
The mind is a calculating machine, always trying to figure out what's going on, and in many cases, it's just easier to blame someone else.

And my personal answer: I try as best as I can to learn from my mistakes, but I am only human.

Answer 7

Yes, we are responsible for our lives in every way. We choose all of our actions, all of the time. We choose how we respond to conditions and adversity. We are the only beings on the earth that are not completely subject to our genetics or predispositions. We are completely 'unnatural' in many respects. If an animal sees food that another animal has claimed, kills the other animal and takes the food, its natural. If we do it, its criminal, because we have the intellect and will to choose, animals do not.

Answer 8

I take full responsibility for everything that happens to me. Good or bad. Ultimately I caused whatever pain or trouble I have gone through in my life.

Answer 9

I believe I am responsible for my life, no one made me do anything I didn't want to do. I learned from all of my lessions and enjoyed them, though I was cussing at the time.