can anyone give me some advise on how to have a lasting relationship. i have been selibate for six months but feel the need to have some special guy in my live again. please help!
2006-12-26 05:54:00 · 18 answers · asked by wanderingstar 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
because their focus is SEX not love.
2006-12-26 05:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by bbq 6 · 5⤊ 3⤋
It seems like there may not always be one special guy. There may be a few very compatable people to your psyche and personality.
It comes down to the saying A Good Man Is Hard To Find.
I've been looking for a while and last year I just stopped, thinking if I did I would meet someone. Doesn't work that way.
It seems you either have to know the right people or be in the right place at the right time. I know I have an obstacle of coming out of my shell when I meet someone I feel is attractive. I've been love starved for a while and once I do find him I have to work on not being attached to him very quickly.
Just try to go out more, maybe join a local social gay group, book club, or PFLAG. If you're in the closet it's more difficult. Good luck.
2006-12-26 16:42:09 · answer #2 · answered by dnnzak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found this problem in the past. Then I found the right guy and I wasn't even looking at the time. It was a few months closer to 5 months before I found the guy I am with of 2 years now and hopefully many more. It is a long and tasking road. I find that morals are absent in this lifestyle. The younger I was the less I was seeking a relationship as well. It wasn't until later in life ( 33 now) that I was ready to settle down. If you are younger, perhaps seek out a bit of a mature person in the later 20's. I am not saying that young people don't have an LTR. It is just more common with later 20's and on--Good Luck
2006-12-26 15:19:47 · answer #3 · answered by punxsyparty 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it can be difficult to maintain a lasting relationship regardless of your sexual orientation. When you "hook up" just for sex then you can't really expect it to progress into a LTR (unless it's what you both really want AND you are compatible). Also, it is harder to have an open gay relationship in our society due to the lack of support and outright hostility that you face (although sometimes that can make a couple stronger). I suggest you get to know a person first (develope a friendship) and discover if you have the same dreams, goals, priorities, etc...if so, then take it to the next level (committment and sex). Good luck!
2006-12-26 15:06:21 · answer #4 · answered by Lorenz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's any more difficult for gays to have a lasting relationship than it is heterosexuals.
In fact, in those states that allow same-sex marriage, the divorce rate amongst same-sex couples is 1/3 of the heterosexual couples.
It all has to do with the people involved. When all your relationships don't last you can only look at yourself. You are the common denominator in each case. You need to find within yourself why your relationships don't last and then look for someone that is good for you.
2006-12-26 14:49:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I had a monogamous relationship for 3 years and I'm a gay man, so I guess you are not focused in attracting and sustaining a relationship, you lack patience in keeping the romance alive, you lack the discipline to stand by your man or you push others away with your neediness.
2006-12-26 16:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no expert...but you have to stop looking for the next better looking ,hotter man..because there always will be one...you have to learn to settle down and just love one person..and decide what you want most out of life...I would rather keep my 20 year relationship with my partner than risk it all for 5 minutes of sex one night with a stranger.....Gay men just can't seem to overcome the barrier of always looking for something better....
2006-12-26 16:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I fully agree with BBQT. Any relationship, be it gay or heterosexual cannot be based on sexual activity alone. There should and must be a purpose to the relationship. In heterosexual marriage a full commitment is made with a view to a true family environment which naturally includes children. Sex plays a major role but the true purpose of the union is the forming of a family unit. Dare I say it, but homosexual relationships have no such future without anything to look forward to such as grandchildren and hopefully, great grandchildren. Seriously, and no disrespect whatsoever meant, homosexuality has no future in any relationship............
2006-12-26 14:06:00 · answer #8 · answered by thomasrobinsonantonio 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i am very relationship oriented,,i have had 4 very long term partners 3,5,7,2 years ,,first of all you should never have sex on the first date,,feel a dude out first see if hes into dating, not just sex if you let a guy treat you like an object that is what he will do.and date date date ,,there is no rule to dating as many guys as you want until you find the one.. my mom use to tell me you have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince. and once you meet that guy just focus on having a good time and laughing,not how big his penis is,,,good luck
2006-12-27 13:56:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably your age. There are just as many straight one-night-stand sort of guys. I think once guys get older, they tend to settle down, both gay and straight.
I think you just need to just let things happen as they happen. Why would anyone enter a relationship wanting it to last years if they don't even really know the person?
2006-12-26 14:09:42 · answer #10 · answered by anon 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
relationships have to be based on companionship, love, trust, and communication. they can't just be about sex.
try to get into a relationship but make a promise that there won't be anything sexual until you hit 6 months into the relationship.. that should be enough to make sure you find love before you take things sexual..
2006-12-26 19:16:29 · answer #11 · answered by Jeff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋