My husband took a job in California almost a year ago. I was not happy about this choice, but I felt if he really wanted to go and he couldn't see the reasons for not going himself why stop him. This was supposed to be only a year. Now, it's turned into he's going to school and HAS CHOSEN TO CONTINUE this long distance work thing in the future. We do not have kids, but I'm unsure if I think this is fair of him to continue coming home periodically. Now, he comes home 6 days a month. But, he says after school he will fly home EVERY other week. Is this schedule fair to his wife and future kids?
2006-12-26 04:38:30 · 6 answers · asked by Hear2Help 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is currently an LPN. He will become and RN after school is complete.
2006-12-26 04:39:20 · update #1
Thanks Eileen and Chowder. Of course, there is more to this story than I could put down here. I do think we are on different paths at this point. He seems to be dictating everything! Where he's working now... (and, he has 3 roommates that work at the same hospital), telling me when we can have kids, 05/08! I'm 34!, and now what seemed to be a short-term solution to "fast money" as he would say he's turning it into soemthing permanent. YES, nursing jobs are everywhere, but Calif. just pays sooo well (he says) and Im not out there b/c it's cheaper having me here...OH and he has room mates. He's not partying, I know that. But, I have come to realize through a long thought process that this may not be working out for me.
2006-12-26 04:50:40 · update #2
I don't understand - aren't there plenty of nursing jobs in your area?
Write down your feelings and next time him comes home explain to him how you feel and have specific questions for him - why he has chosen this path.
Be open to his answers and try to consider them thoughtfully rather than emotionally. You have to figure out what works for everyone as a family. This may be a rough path now on the way to something great or it may be a clue that you really need to stop and think about your values as a couple.
I wish you the best!
Re: Your additional info:
Better to realize its not working out now than get stuck in an unhappy relationship. I know its hard now to come to these realizations, but it will feel so good and seem so clear when you look back and know that you made the right choice. It doesn't seem from your answers like he would be the father you desire for your future children either. You'll find the right someone for your life at the right time. :)
2006-12-26 04:44:54 · answer #1 · answered by Kaitelia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the barer of bad news, but it sounds to me that you got shafted or screwed. He should be more attentive to your needs and wants. Also, LPN's and RN's are a dime a dozen. It doesn't sound on the up and up for a company to fly an LPN or an RN around. Also, he should be able to find work anywhere and very likely find an employer willing to pay for him to become an RN. Also, this wouldn't be an ideal or even accrptable situation with kids. I applaud you for thinking of this before having kids too. Good luck to you.
2006-12-26 12:49:58 · answer #2 · answered by [><] Rebel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you cared youd move with him. i would be ashamed to make him go through this! Im not going to give you any advice because you have let this go on for this long. Stop being irogant if you loved him youd want to be with him. there musdt be something wrong with you-ash
its not fair for you to be doing what your doing!!!! someone needs a little more conscious. i just feel like it is the womans place to be there for his husband hes is doing all of this to give you all a better future and you stand behind him 100 percent no matter what. you will one day look back and realize that you were the one that was wrong.
i realize everyones opinion is different on this but this is mine good or bad it is
2006-12-26 12:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Either you should move out there with him, or you should call it quits. If you are not OK with it then don't do it.
Personally I think he likes having his cake and eating it too. I CERTAINLY would not have kids until you are stable. Why would you want to be a single mother?
There are hospitals & Doctor's offices everywhere. If he can't get a job locally then there is something wrong.
2006-12-26 12:46:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he is doing this for you and the future kids, then let him.
2006-12-26 12:40:42 · answer #5 · answered by Webballs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY DONT YOU MOVE OUT THEIR WITH HIM....
2006-12-26 12:42:26 · answer #6 · answered by R.J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋