did i make a bad decision,or am i over reacting?

Question

i just became engaged after 5 yrs to my bf but i'm having doubts.he was married and had a son(sam) to a very controling wife thats the reason he divorced her 6yrs ago.she is very bitter over this and makes my life hell and its gotten worse since we got engaged.she calls,emails almost everyday,every little thing regarding sam requires lenghy phone calls which then leads into things related not about thier son.example on a romantic vac. she called to tell my bf sam had a cold,we were only gone 3 days and she called 4 times.she also told my bf she does not want me to go with him to sams school functions as i'm not his mother,she said he has to go with her.my bf said he will not say anything to her as he wants to take the high road with her for his sons sake and agrees with everything she does and wants.i think hes just afraid of her and knows i will make less of a stink than she will.how why does he allow her to control our lifes?am i wrong to feel this way?

Answer 1

bad news!!!!! those controlling people are worse with children involved, he might as well go back to her & let her run things, or she'll have the courts run him..............change your phone #

Answer 2

It sounds as if she hasn't moved on. Your boyfriend needs to set some boundaries and stick to them for the sake of your relationship. They will need to communicate while they have a young child but your partner could limit it and prevent it from intruding into your relationship. Whatever she says she should have no control, or influence over your relationship or where you go. She's continuing to be controlling because he's allowing her to. If he can't deal with this it will continue to cause problems. Perhaps they could communicate through a 'neutral' family member in future? Good Luck.

Answer 3

Your bf needs to grow some backbone. He is still allowing the ex to control, and that can't have a good effect on your relationship.
Calling because the kid has a cold is just an excuse. She wants to use the son as a tool to interfere with your relationship with her ex.

Answer 4

she does it because your bf lets her, you should be pissed off. an it should stop she is using sam to stay a part of your bf's life. i've been down this road. you need to talk to your bf and really push the issue that this has to stop it only gets worse and can lead to a hook up between them. you may not think it is possible but she is holding on for a reason

Answer 5

HE needs to step up his game, you are to be his wife and have EVERY right to go with him to his sons functions and whatevers HE needs to put his foot down or up this woman's asss and not allow her to dictate or run his life with you. He does NOT have to answer everytime she calls and once he does answer and sees that there is NOT an emergency, he should hang up the phone. If he doesnt have court order visitation schedule...he needs to GET ONE so she can not keep his child from him. THis is alll easy to me because he does NOT have to allow this behavior. If he doesnt do these things...I would leave him because it means he is a slave to this woman and a punk asss and who wants that as a hubby?

Answer 6

each and every person develops their way via marvel and trauma of their own distinctive procedures, in line with previous reviews, and the adventure itself. there is not any precise or incorrect as to the way you're "meant" to sense in this variety of difficulty. there are particular levels of marvel nonetheless, which includes denial and additionally guilt. The physique itself is oftentimes no longer conscious this is is falling below those levels, till after wards. yet throughout marvel often has a tendency to blame themselves for the placement, or for no longer appearing a definite way in the placement. After this, they often fall into denial, denying the reality, and keeping apart themselves from others. My element being, don't sense undesirable because you at the instant are not disillusioned via what has surpassed off yet. of course the deeper marvel you fall into, the bigger impact the incident has had on you, as a result, the greater this individual has meant to you. don't sense accountable, because of the fact it somewhat is thoroughly usual. This individual meant lots to you, and you're doing super. that isn't the least confusing element telling some thing this tragic to a family participants member, yet a minimum of this could carry the friendship you have had together with his sister, even closer. i be attentive to its a no longer uncomplicated time on your existence, yet don't sense undesirable, marvel is a classic feeling to sense especially at a time like this.

Answer 7

If you marry this guy, it will always be like this. His son will be first in his life, not you. If you can't sit back and accept it, it is time to get out of the relationship.
He might be a pushover when it comes to his ex-wife, but with a child involved, you can't make him chose (if he choses his son, then you are gone; if he choses you, he loses his son).

Answer 8

he needs to find a way to not let the ex win all the time, right now he is just being a pushover and the ex know she'll win evertime, if he doesn't "put his foot down" once in a while she will walk all over him and your relationship. if this doen't get fixed you probably souldn't merry him. that crazy ex will never leave you alone.

Answer 9

You need to have him address her issues, obviously she can't let go of him... Have him tell her to get her own life and stop living in yours!
Does he expect you to deal w/this? No way!!

Answer 10

Get used to it. She is going to hate you for all time.