do u like my poetry?

Question

Beautiful Blurs

Beautifully tainted
trance of transition
back and forth
of my identical identities.
A lover’s lack
of sexuality,
instinct stolen by time.
Dying poets possess
no potential to progress
into former flames
or fireflies, .
Trusted trysts
never to actualize,
only in suspicion
til I apologize
and crucify dreams.
I cannot dress
my sin in confession
and the question
of who deserves
my reborn innocence.
Blurred by words
of not knowing
what we feel
or who to be.



Confessions for Innocence

Quickly moving
through wasted days
as if the hours
had no worth,
gone in an oblivion,
lost until recollection
reemerges.
Years given
to try to make stone,
as easy as we make love,
instead pebbles thrown
into ponds
won’t skip in reflection.
She throws away the sun
til she wants it again
to burn
numbers that add
to truths
she doesn’t want to know,
solutions to problems
created in her mind’s

outer space.
Talk about how nothing
changes with confessions,
we are still angels
we are still able to
move counter clockwise
into innocence.

Answer 1

i've read better

Answer 2

Not too bad. The second one is the better of the two. Good line "Years given/to try to make stone,/as easy [easily] as we make love," Don't like "Trusted trysts". Use words that you normally use. The good news is that you are starting to discover others. The bad news is that it is mainly the stronger emotions like sex that attracts you to them. What if this person were your child or parent instead of your lover? Where is the respect?

Try writing poems about someone you know who is old or an infant, someone who you would not typically relate to sexually. What do they do that amazes you? How do they solve issues that baffle you?

Write about everything. Not just those things that raise strong emotions in you. Write about things that bore you, that puzzle you, disgust you, things that you hate, that make you feel silly, that amuse you, that make you feel sad too. Do it without using the words "bore", "puzzle", "disgust", "hate", "silly", "amuse", "sad". Let the context say it for you.

Write about going somewhere where you can disappear and all that is left is the wind and the grass. Overhead the undetermined clouds are drawn and tumbled away, faded out, emerged again, redrawn and disfigured. Three small dead leaves loses their entanglement and are blown up, about, to fall again and again. All concerns follow the clouds and leaves, curious about their quiet and why they don't complain.

Anyone can write about their strong entanglements. Only a few can write about how to be kind and free.

Oh, and work on the punctuation. Its a bother but you have to do it as poems are ambiguous enough as it is.

Otherwise, good work.

Answer 3

Interesting, but from my perspective needs some clarity of purpose. Keep after it.

Answer 4

yes i tink that you express yourself through this poetry. you should go serious with it, and follow your dreams if tha is what you wannna do with o=your life. write all of your feelings down on paper and put it into words that no one understands but you.