My husband and i are seperated but still spend almost everyday together. Last night he asks me if it feels strange when we hang out together becuase he feels it comes a second nature to cuddle me and hold my hand, he says he won't because he doesn't want to complicate things any more and everything should come naturally... ok so what the heck does that mean?
2006-12-26 01:38:54 · 13 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like he is afraid that if he shows you affection that it may start up feelings again and he doesn't want to make things confusing to you or him one. he is feeling that if you two are to be together it should be natural and not forced on both of your behalf's. Does this help any?
2006-12-26 01:48:34 · answer #1 · answered by golden rider 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, he loves you but he knows that showing signs of emotion to you can make you think that you guys are "working it out" when that is not the case. It is a selfish act that we all do. Some odd years ago, when I broke up with one of my ex... I knew that he loved me and I cared for him, but he wasn't for me. So while broken up with him, I still acted like we were together, by doing cuddling and being affectionate at times. I didn't want to hurt him, because I would in turn had felt bad. Never did I think of his emotions by acting this out.. I just warned him daily that just because we were together doesn't mean that we were still dating. I did this until I found someone else and the cuddling and all the caring emotion crap went out the window. And he was left hurt. It was a selfish act that I wish I could have done differently. Sometimes when something is over.. it's over. Accepting it is the hardest part, but acting it out can make it easier. I think you should stop cuddling, and lay the rules down. Everything can be done nicely, but you have to make sure that you won't end up hating him because of this.
Hope this helps!
2006-12-26 02:31:24 · answer #2 · answered by complex1simple 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
COMMUNICATION is the key action in every marriage. If you hang out almost everyday, WHY are you separated. There seems to be some selfish behavior going on between the two of you. Are there some unresolved issues that need to be looked at so you can both get back together under one roof again? Are either of you afraid to express some deep emotions to one another? Are there any unrealistic expectations on either side? Are the two of you afraid of total and unconditional commitment?
2006-12-26 07:43:49 · answer #3 · answered by TracyBee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is one thing to be friends and another to have best of both worlds......you both should take time away from each other and see if you still want to be together or like it apart.......your not giving yourselves time...........there had to be a reason for a separation and I know that everyone wants to work on rebuilding but first you need to understand what it is you both want and focus on the reason you are where you are at right now........
2006-12-26 02:00:34 · answer #4 · answered by shortieperez1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he still has strong feelings for you and he wants to know how you feel. He wants to make sure that you still care about him before he puts his self out there and tries to be with you again. Think long and hard on this matter. Can you save the marriage??? If so than I think you and him should do everything in your power to save it.
2006-12-26 02:06:44 · answer #5 · answered by lizzy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's saying or hinting that what the two of your are doing is more out of habit than it is out of actual feelings towards each other. In other words, he has nobody else, this is really comfortable and your relationship with him is one of habit rather than something he or you desires. the love is there, but the being in love is gone honey.
2006-12-26 02:46:20 · answer #6 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know? I don't think he meant any harm by what he said though. If you are separated then you shouldn't analyze everything that is being said. I'd ask him what did he mean before I tried to guess what was going through his mind.
2006-12-26 02:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he's hinting that he'd like to know how you feel. Perhaps he's ready to talk about the separation. Sounds like he's afraid to be too physical because of the separation but is wanting you to tell him if it would be okay. Talk to him!
2006-12-26 01:47:00 · answer #8 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's going to stop hanging out with you.He wants to lay an be friends too.
2006-12-26 02:07:36 · answer #9 · answered by MISSY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems as though he is unsure of what he wants. He is used to you, but perhaps out of love with you.He does not really know what he wants , but you are safe for him!He knows what to expect!
2006-12-26 01:53:07 · answer #10 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋