I am not saying STAY angry but I have right to an angry period since my husband moved in down the street with the local sluuut who is not even a kind person ( nd kids behind as well.) Statements like "get over it" and "don't be so angry" are so insipid. Of course I will but don't expect that soon. And yes, it has been hard. Maybe people those people who haven' experienced this, or the people who did the leaving, can be so cavalier. My office mate was moody for months after her divorce whenever her husband had the daughter for the week. OF COURSE SHE WAS. I told people to give her a break. She now has gotten beyond that and looks forward to her weeks to do as she wants. Please people. No platitudes. Can anyone relate to this?
2006-12-26 01:36:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People say things like,'don't be angery' and, 'get over it', because the do not want to deal with it themselves...so they are not telling you to really do those things as much as they do not want to hear about it...
Yes, it is rude and uncaring...but you also find out who cares about you...and who does not.
2006-12-26 01:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by Mechelle C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Morning,
When people say "don't be angry", what they really are saying is, 'don't SHOW your anger'. Don't let your anger become violent because of the situation. Processing emotions takes time and we have the right to take the appropriate time and deal with each emotion on OUR time. Remember, your feelings are very valid and you need to feel the feelings in order to GROW through a painful situation. This journey that we are on called LIFE can be extremely painful, tough and difficult. Also, processing your anger is a very healthy thing to do. If not, you will become sick and physically exhausted.
If you trust in God, lean on him for strength and courage.
Take care of yourself.
2006-12-26 01:43:29 · answer #2 · answered by TracyBee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes about two years to get over a divorce, or a death...(but, sometimes people never get over it and need counceling or other Professional help).
Yes, you have a right to get angry, because he is cheating on you! Infidelity is never a pleasant thing... And, in time, I hope you learn to forgive him, but, for now, you will be resentful because he didnt keep his marriage vows, and he was unfaithful, and a liar to boot!
You were betrayed, so, your going to be "venting" for awhile...its healthy, because its needed. But, after the two years, if your still angry, then its time to get some help...
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-12-26 01:41:16 · answer #3 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should move to another location.Or remain there an start
seeing other people right in his view.
What goes around comes back harder.
you'll be laughing really soon.
cheer up
If you need someone to talk to.I'm here.
Start the New Year off with a goal an work towards it each day.
2006-12-26 01:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by MISSY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they don't want you to be angry because of how it impacts them.
of course telling you not to be angry is not effective. because that does not control your feelings. other people can't really control your feelings too well. but just consider it that they wish you would not be angry. and they are allowed to have that wish just like you are allowed to be angry. so everyone can have their feelings. you can have your anger and they can have their wish that you would not be angry. and it's ok. you could even practice saying "i know you wish i didn't feel this way, but i do." or
"this is my anger and i will handle it" or something that will indicate to them that it's ok if they don't 'agree' with your feelings but they are your feelings anyway.
2006-12-26 01:40:33 · answer #5 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha! You have EVERY right to be angry! Its a normal reaction! And yes, time will heal this wound inside you but it doesn't happen oevernight.........it might help to talk through your anger with someone though.
Good luck to you!!!
2006-12-26 02:36:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be angry, you can punch pillows, you can write a journal stating how angry and hurt you are.........People tell you not to be angry but they are not feeling what your feeling.........In public I would always put on a happy face even to my ex..............In private I would keep a journal..........I would speak to one person about how I felt and in time it got less and less but it is your time to be upset and get that frustration out, if you hold it inside you will only be hurthing yourself..........People don't understand that they tell us to be dishrags but when it happens to them we are to be nothing but sympathetic....you don't have to run around like a crazy person but you do have to let time heal your wounds.....and trust me when it does and you find a nice person and you begin to enjoy your life the one that hurt you will be angry because you did not let it fester and kill your desire to go on........
2006-12-26 01:45:11 · answer #7 · answered by shortieperez1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people just say that because they really can't think of any real words to say. There is nothing that anyone can do or say to help in these sorts of situations. So why bother. just let people get on with there anger how they want. i say
2006-12-26 01:41:56 · answer #8 · answered by Crazy in Love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anger can suffocate the world around you and leave you under a cloud of impending doom. Find a way to channel your anger and understand it so you can redirect it.
2006-12-26 01:39:51 · answer #9 · answered by renew69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate when people say things like "get over it". what i hate the most is when people say "it's not that big of a deal" well obviously to me it is. i think most people say stupid things like that because they dont know what else to say. or they dont feel like listening. hopefully you have good friends that are helping you get through it. those things are just easy to say and maybe they want you to feel better and thats all they can think of.
2006-12-26 01:39:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋