i feel depressed, tearful and miserable and i don't know what to do..help plz?

Question

i m 40 and mother of 4 children age 18, 19, 20 and 21. they busy with their education, work so i don't know what to do. i do work ful time and when i come home its not same as before. well i know i should b enjoying my freedom but [e-mail] and u got any ideas so u can mail me and would b very greatful..thx

thx for u all answering and i m not choosing best answer as u all give me best answer...happy new year u all..thx

Answer 1

I would start something of your own. Maybe you could do some charity work. Or volunteer somewhere. Charities are always looking for help. Find something to get invovled in. If you depression is severe, you might want to talk to your doctor.

Answer 2

Isn't it hard when they start to flee the nest and don't need you any more. I went through this 7 years ago and really hit rock bottom. it took a nervous breakdown to make me take stock of my life and where I was going. i took myself (with the support of my family) back into full time education and have never looked back. It was 24 years since I had been at school and had left with virtually no qualifications so it was very very scary. I now have a degree in nursing along with other qualifications and the world is literally my oyster. the boys were ( and are) so proud of me and it has set them a good example. you're never too old to learn and you meet the most interesting people. I was 41 when i got to University having done an access course first so you are certainly not too old. i am now 45 and have worked in A&E, ITU and orthopaedics and am about to start on the community. Go for it, if not nursing then something else. Use that brain and all the life expereince you have gained raising your family. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

I think that because you are going home to an empty house, try putting the radio, television and light on a time clock, and set them to come on just before you are due to walk through the door, nothing anyone can say, will make you feel better at the moment as you are feeling disorientated through being on your own, cherish what you have and don't cry for what you feel you have lost, your kids are great and you have achieved such a lot, be proud of them and yourself, you have done a great job with them, so do the same with you. If i was to ask you the same question what would you tell me to do, I think you may have the answer.........lot of love and hugs lovely lady

Answer 4

it's called the empty nest blues. you raise children and then they are suddenly gone and nothing seems quite the same. you feel abandoned, alone and sad. don't let this happened to you. you have to control your future. go out meet people - join your Church and go to the functions and group meetings that they have - i grant you, you will find other people there that have similar problems. if you are still lonely when you get home, get yourself a pet - there's nothing like a puppy to get your mind off you troubles - you'll have no time to think about yourself - because this little creature will be taking all of your attention. you'll find that you are very needed. i hope this helps - enjoy the precious life that God has given you and not be saddened by the changes in life - but, look for ways to make it happier and brighter. i hope the New Year that's coming brings you a new found Joy.

Answer 5

This is called Emtpy Nest Syndrom, you have put all your life into the raising of your children and now the job is over, as you have successfully raised as good citizens. You feel not needed and lonely now. Be assured that they will come to you whenever they have problems and if you leave at least one bedroom comfy for them to crash whenever they need to, I'm sure they will return often. If you still feel like this for too long then I would go to the doctor for some help. But there are things you can do now. Go for walks, it helps in all cases of depression. Find a good hobby, one that interests you and makes you new friends. Learn to enjoy your own company.

It's hard, but you can do it! Take care of yourself sweety and well done for doing such a good job.

Answer 6

Start going out at the weekend your still young, it must be hard but enjoy this time you have, i go out once a fortnight with friend ive been doin it for the last 12 months and i love it because i didnt really experience night clubs etc before my children. im 36 and my children are 16 14 and 12, i also work full time and feel down a lot but i pick myself up and look forward to my night out.
be happy.

Answer 7

Hi

I think its because you've spent so long doing something a certain way, ie raising kids that when they can fend for themselves its hard to know what to do next.
I feel the same as you, but I'm still raising my kids.
This stage will pass soon, as before you know it there will be Grandchildren and they will need you again.

What do you like doing, can you drive-
What about self defence classes, or maybe a martial arts class.
Have you considered adult education,

How about your house, do you need to change anything in it ??
Are you sick of a room in your house ????
It will give you a boost.

The New year is a great time to make changes.
Get busy finding out who you are and what you want.

good luck

Answer 8

If you can't beat them join them. What did you always want to do as agirl but have not done yet ? Sign up for some classes whether its ballet or Italian, Salsa or Arc Welding and do it. You only live once, You have given your children a good start now its time to do what you want. Also make one room in the house your room where you can have the things you enjoy and be yourself and make it YOUR ROOM no admittance to anyone else, husband, children or dog and ENJOY THEFACT THAT YOU HAVE SPACE AND TIME TO JUST BE YOU !!!

Answer 9

Join a couple of evening classes
Take up Salsa dancing
get a part time job a couple of evenings a week
find a new man (if you already have one then start going out more together in the evenings)
Join a Gym and go 3 times a week straight from work.

Answer 10

Dont worry mom. you just need to get used to being home with out the kids being there. Try joining a community group or try making things with crafts. Start a hobbie like jogging or painting. Have friends come over more often. In time youll be fine!