I was never like that, mean and cruel, emotionally abusive, my husband is perfect, everyone loves him, he always messes up things with me though, i hate myself with him, why am i ruining us? Sometimes he tries to please me so i won't snap but eventually i snap, what should do, oh God what should i do?? i can't leave him now but what's going on????
2006-12-26 01:03:26 · 18 answers · asked by Lolo Lovou 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it may be that you are not happy with yourself. or is it that your family loves him but you are not in love with him and you rezent him for that. somtimes people are in a relationship with somone because there family love them and think they are perfect for you. if you dont feel this way you will take it out on your partner as in a weird way its there fault that you feel trapped (coz they are so perfect). what looks great to your fmily may not be the same for you.
2006-12-26 01:27:43 · answer #1 · answered by NICOLA G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I almost instantly wonder what your self-esteem is like. Do you have this fear that he doesn't like you? Where do you place your self-worth? Do you need him to feel complete?
I think these are questions you have to ask yourself, maybe there are some resentments you have with him that have carried over from a past relationship. I know my wife thinks of all men as cheaters because of an ex boyfriend of hers and it's darn near destroyed our relationship. You honestly have to explore all aspects of your relationship as well as look at your parents' relationship, your past relationships as well as that of your husband's. There are so many factors that play into a marriage and at many times, you may not be able to figure them all out; this is why so many people recommend counseling. Counseling will certainly help you determine what it is about yourself that sets you off.
2006-12-26 01:09:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You treat your husband the way you do because you feel inadequate and are afraid of losing him. You also like to keep him on guilt trips for the same reason. If you keep up this behavior, you won't have worry about leaving him. Your own insecurities will break up the marriage.
2006-12-26 01:25:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
pass to the police and document a grievance!! that way if something comes up in courtroom they could have records for that, in case you don't get out now....he will administration you and you will by no skill have any threat for independents. he's messing which comprise your techniques. he's conscious of you get a job you will grow to be autonomous and much less based on him.. the 1st ingredient an abusive individual will do, is attempt to Isolate their prey, so they could benefit total administration... suggestion...document a grievance and go away!!ASAP your babies would be extra happy... believe and that they could make new pals
2016-11-23 17:42:17 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you have some personal issues going on with yourself. You need to do an inventory of all of your emotions and figure out why YOU are the one blowing up and getting angry. If he is so perfect, why would YOU disrupt all of that. Maybe you are not used to a healthy, normal, loving relationship. Maybe you think that there is supposed to be madness in all relationship.
NOT TRUE!!!
Do you feel worthy of his love, kindness, compassion? Do you feel worthy to be treated nice, respectful, and with honor? You need to search your soul and figure out what you want and what you are dealing with on the inside that makes you react on the outside.
2006-12-26 02:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by TracyBee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You won't have to leave him. Just keep doing what you are doing and some sharp sexy babe will see what is happening and swoop in and rescue him. They will live happily ever after and you can get hitched with some low life biker dude that you can abuse and get the crap beat out of you once or twice a month. Ahhh that will be the life!
2006-12-26 01:09:52 · answer #6 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's good you realize and see what you are doing--and what you have in your husband. Now--it's up to you to do something about it--you've made the first step by admitting it--now take the step and get some counseling to release whatever it is inside of you to keep your marriage healthy and strong.
2006-12-26 01:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lst of all, try to remember what you admire in him D-most, try to control your temper anytime you notice anything that irritates you. communication is vital in a marriage, cos marriage life can never be like when you guys were courting. we all know that no one is perfect, thats why you should adjust your life weak piont in other to carry your hubby along. don,t let him get frustrated cos this might push him outside. like you said that your hubby is very loving, such men are very rear to come by and if you thing that you can always get another one, it won,t be the same. pray about it. good-luck.
2006-12-26 01:24:03 · answer #8 · answered by kelly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually abuse is about power. You feel powerful when you manipulate him emotionally and when you're not able to, you feel powerless. The first step to fix it is to realize what the problem is. Then you have to give the power to someone else. I would suggest either him or a religious authority.
2006-12-26 01:20:57 · answer #9 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok it could be so many things the biggest one is are you happy with yourself or are you counting on him to make everything great and when he fails in the least little way you freak? or do you long for another someone you could not have? and do you really love him, i mean love him like a husband? i think the answer lies in you. and if you think he gives in too easy tell him, tell him you want him to be more assertive.
2006-12-26 01:07:23 · answer #10 · answered by pa625 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋