i want to know if anyone knows how to help someone that is letting there past affect there present life, this person, has issues from her past, and she's distroying her own marriage, cause she rebels and doesn't take advice, even if that other person is only trying to help. This person very much seems like she doesn't want to help her self or doesn't want anyone's help. But She really does need it. Please Any Advice would be great. Her past is making her very moody and hard to be around, she seems to have very low self esteem and she has alot of regrets, but she can't see past them and it's effecting her, So Please Any good advice would be great.
2006-12-26 00:30:11 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She rebels because she's a rebel...rebels have regrets but don't face them and move on because than is what the "establishment" tells them to do...she's rebelling against you right now...the problem will probably be long term counseling for both of you...she has to mature and take responsibility...and you have to hang on until she does...
2006-12-26 00:35:45 · answer #1 · answered by jdoug_sellers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say if you really care about this person then you should stand by them and show them love and support and understanding no matter what she does. I have had to watch myself mess up everything good in my life because of things in my past and it took me losing a wonderful person before I got my act together. I know now its not all my fault but having the love of a great friend there beside me was all I needed. Your friend maybe angry at times or sad but all you can do is be a friend and let her know NO matter what she says or do you will be there for her to lean on get mad at or to cry on when she needs it. Stop trying to tell her what YOU think she should do and just be there for her, let her know whatever happens will happen but you will be there to help pick up the parts of her life.
2006-12-26 08:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by medic_lover_emti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help her if she doesn't want to take your advice.She is probably going to have to hit rock bottom before she sees what she is doing to herself.I have had the same problem myself has far has letting past issues destroy you life.Luckily I recognized what I was doing and knew enough about myself and who I was to know that I had to confront what happened to me to make me this way or I wouldn't ever be able to live a normal life.Hopefully she will figure thing out but if not and you are will to ride things out with her.She will need you to be there when she does hit bottom.
2006-12-26 14:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship woth an adorable woman with the same issues and it distroyed our marriage, But it was mostly myfault for not having enough compassion and understanding for the trauma she indured. The best advice I can give is tell the him to love her and nurture her but most of all love her with his soul.
2006-12-26 08:44:59 · answer #4 · answered by bigblock_475_hp d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to reach someone that she respect D-most to advise her or you can take her for councelling. you can also pray for her, like we all know there is nothing prayer can not do. let her know that her situation is not the worst situation that could ever happen to anyone. l,ve been in worst situatoin than she is, whereby, the man l was involve with almost used me for money rituals. thank GOD, l survived the shock, remian her about those who are in abject poverty, the sick in the hospital, who don,t have the hope to survive the next second, she wil live to appreciate GOD, for the altimate miracle of sleeping and waking-up, CHEERS.
2006-12-26 09:53:56 · answer #5 · answered by kelly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two very important words.
PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING and probably the best way to get her to go is to point out to her that her view of herself is not accurate to the way others see her. If you approach her any other way, she is not likely to try counseling, its hard work.
If you are her spouse then go to counseling on your own if she refuses. Emotionally unhealthy people love to guilt the partner and just like with an alcoholic spouse its very important to your well being that you learn not to enable her behaviors.
2006-12-26 08:40:58 · answer #6 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is someone you know, the best thing you can do is suggest that they seek professional help. Otherwise, stay out of it.
If the person is you: Stop disguising yourself and seek professional help.
2006-12-26 09:05:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not let her problems have an adverse affect on your life. Mental problems are very contagious. Remember, it is difficult to solve our own problems, what chance do you have of solving anothers problems. Very little, I am afraid.
2006-12-26 08:40:05 · answer #8 · answered by sonny_too_much 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Theraphy is the only way, sit down and talk to her as a friend suggest it and see what she says if she doesn't want it tell her how you feel.
2006-12-26 08:44:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk her into getting evaluated for depression or PTSD. If she already won'tlisten to advise, giving her different advise won't help.
2006-12-26 08:38:56 · answer #10 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋