Caught my daughter?

Question

I am in a state of shock. Recently my husband was released from the hospital, has a terminal cancer and is on very strong meds that cause him to fall into a deep sleep also on oxygen. He is 48.

He sleeps in an adjacent bedroom as his oxygen machine keeps me awake at night. Early this morning i had to get up and go to the bathroom, as i was walking past his room, I thought i heard a moaning sound so i thought i'd peak in and see if he was doing ok.

My 16 year old daughter was in the process of performing oral sex on my husbands penis. My husband was totally asleep and his penis wasn't even erect. My daughter heard me, stopped what she was doing and left the room. I followed her and we had a very big fight. She told me to get over it. That It's no big deal. Said she was horny that dad will never know he's so out of it with the drugs he's taking. She said you don't do anything with it anymore, so why shouldn't I. What have I done to cause her to do such a thing?

Answer 1

While this incident sounds shocking, it is not an uncommon problem found in many families in the world today. Many people would be astounded at the number of similar cases similar in nature that occur everyday. Generally families try unsuccessfully to deal with incidents like this internally.

Which is understandable given that it is a very serious, embarrassing subject for many. It isn't something they want the world or other family members hearing about.

This issue definately needs to be addressed with a psycological workup on your daughter. Given her rebellious response to you having confronted her it clearly show's she has some serious issues that need to be addressed.

However in any counseling type situation, the participants need to be willing to acknowledge they have a problem and must also have a willingness to correct the wrongful behavior. Many teens are resistant to and become more rebellious over time.

It appears your husband is currently very nearly incapacitated due to his illness, and should not become involved in this matter with his health in such a delicate state. He doesn't need this type of stress in his life at this time and i'm sure most people will agree with me on this.

If you can find it within yourself the courage to have a calm discussion with your daughter in private. No yelling and name calling, don't put her on the defensive type discussion, perhaps you can obtain some information from her on why she was engaged in such behavior. Don't do it in a angry fashion. You may want to ask her calmly if she's done this before.

Hopefully you will be able to convince her that you would feel much better about this entire situation if the two of you could go talk to a counselor together about what she's feeling about this type of behavior.

This is going to be difficult to do but it must be done. If you have any questions about this you may contact me via my profile concerning this issue.

Answer 2

It's not your fault. The girl needs help though and you should have her placed in a psychiatric hospital for at least an evaluation. She has issues and only a DR can figure out what has gone wrong to cause her these problems. If you are being truthful regarding what happened, that is a form of abuse on her part, the same as rape of an unwilling victim and symptomatic of much larger problems. At the very least a little time in psychiatric custody will be a huge wake up call to her regarding her behavior.
I wish you the best.

Answer 3

Oh my GOD. You indeed have terrible problems in your home. My DEEPEST sympathy on your husband's condition. And, quite frankly, my horror at what your daughter is up to. She has clearly developed some sexual attitudes from society that do NOT belong in a loving home. She is deeply confused and troubled and needs psychological help. She must also be deeply angry to pull such an inappropriate act. Were I you, I would no longer trust her in my home. Her behavior is not only unnacceptable; it is despicable and you need to protect your husband from more of the same. Furthermore, her attitude following your horrific discovery just proves the depth of her anger. I would get help IMMEDIATELY. Call your physician. Call a help line. Call your psychologist. Get ANY help you can to find an immediate answer on how to deal with your daughter even being in the house. Then, clearly, some long term therapy will be necessary for your daughter to re-learn appropriate sexual behavior and with whom.

Answer 4

It would be wise to show her the harmful effects of smoking. Smoking can cause cancer, and it can happen to anyone. It creates tar in the lungs and leaves fingertips and teeth yellow. It also can leave bad breath. And anyone will admit, that once you start, smoking is a hard habit to break. I also smoke Marlboro Reds and have tried to stop. It's an extreme challenge of discipline. Smoking is a habit that should be firmly discontinued before it's too late. I started smoking when I was 17, but at 12, that's way dangerous. Do it because you're her mother and you know what's best for her! Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

First off, do not panic! You need to first make sure that nothing like this ever happened before , like when your husband is fully awake. Perhaps this is something that has been going on for a long time. Your daughter might be a sex addict/pervert and she might not be able to help herself. Also , be aware that children and teens do sexual things that mean nothing but is a phase they are going through. How is her life in general. Are there any other problems? school? boyfriends? low self esteem? Try to talk to her without judging her and in this way you will gather more insight!

Answer 6

It's nothing you have done to cause it. Incest is alot more common than people think. It isn't uncommon for younger girls to look up to and idolize their fathers and also have sexual fantasies about them. It works the say way for boys. What is uncommon is the fact that she acted on them, that way. I can understand that you are in shock and I am no way condoning what she has done. She definitely needs to talk to psychologist about this. The sad thing about this is not the act, but her doing it while he was unconscious. That basically is a form of rape. Their are alot of things we consider sick or demented today, but in the past were normal. For instance in the middle ages, royalty couldn't marry anyone but royal blood. Alot if times when there were no princesses of royal blood for a prince to marry to carry on the family line, the prince would be required to marry his sister. This way their would be a child of royal blood to take the throne someday. So please don't think of your daughter as the anti christ or something, but get her help. This is something that the whole family is going to need help to work through.

Answer 7

she need help that is disrespectful and she need to get checked out. its not your fault maybe she may be on some drugs also you never know These day but you have to try to help soon because if you caught her doing that, imagine what you don't see or when she with her friends. I'm thinking you daughter might be a nymphomaniac( a person who is addicted to sex no matter who the person is) and that is a disease that is very dangerous and really needs to be checked out either send her to boot camp or have a specialist look at her but either way you need to handle this situation as soon as possible

Answer 8

Normally I'd say send her right over, but there's not a mouthwash strong enough to get that stank out.

Nice troll, by the way. The not-so-subtle "you don't do anything with dad's dick any more, mom" part implies your daughter has 100% accurate knowlege of you and your husband's sex life.

Duhhh...

Answer 9

Your daughter needs to get some psychiatric help, that is not normal. If I were you I wouldn't leave her and your husband alone. Not to mention asking your husband and daughter if this has happened before and for how long. It seems to me that your daughter has had an intimate relationship with your husband before and I wouldn't be so sure if he was the one that instigated it.

Good luck and my prayers are with you.

Answer 10

you know i saw this survey that at least 1 out of 5 americans had sexual experience or fanatsy of thei close family. it is natural just to do it once and thats it. your daughter is in the process to become a young adult. she needs help. and mostly all people during her time and age wants to have se x with anyone.