Someone has been divorced for 5+ years. Is it odd for them to spend the holidays with the ex and the inlaws?

Question

I think people need to come up with alternatives and develop their own tradition with their kids.

Both children are grown. One lives on their own. The other comes home from college.
I think that my partner should create new traditions with them as their own place.

Answer 1

I think that if you are married to this person then its important that if your feeling threatened by it that you are also invited to go along.
If you are not married to this person and this has always been their holiday tradition regarding their children then you have absolutely no right to get yourself bent out of shape. Holidays are about how people choose to spend them and if this is amicable and their choice, its not yours to interfere with.

Answer 2

I guess it depends on how old the kids are. This has been going on for so long, this IS their tradition. I have a friend who is divorced and she and her ex still have dinner once a week with the kids so everyone can catch up on their lives for that last week, their reasoning? because no matter what happend between her and her ex hubby, they are still a family. and it's important to them both for their kids to know that they are still both their for them, together as their parents. I think it's a great idea. As for the holidays, anytime ex spouses can share memories like that with their children and get along, it's a great thing. After the kids are grown, then they can start new traditions with them...but while they are growing up I believe it's important for divorced families to spend times like that together.

Answer 3

I think it is great if a relationship can be maintained on both ends. I know someone who is still friends with her husband from her very first marriage and he visits frequently. I think it might be odd if the ex still wants to be married and is just living in the past, but that is better than being alone on the holidays I think.

Answer 4

you may not be married anymore but you may have remained friends for the children even though grown......also you did not divorce his family and I am sure when you were married you built a relationship with them and it does not have to end there.......It might be easier for all involved if you build your own new traditions but there is no law that you can't enjoy the old ones if everyone is comfortable with them.

Answer 5

If ex's can get along then it's fine especially if children are involved, because the children are happy that their parents can get along. I get along wonderfully with my first ex and his current family and have been to their home by invitation on many holidays. So no it's not odd although to other people who can't get along with their ex's it would be odd to them.

Answer 6

i will see why you divorced this guy. he's immature and may't (or received't) manage his household initiatives. He unearths the "pastime" of being a parent overwhelming and ties him down. Being married to him ought to of been like having 3 little ones, extremely of having 2 little ones. maximum adult males who love their little ones and favor to be a father ***** that they don't get to work out their little ones sufficient. because of this some adult males stay in an unhappy marriage, because they don't favor to be separated from their little ones and easily be allowed to work out them another week-end and one yet another holiday. Your ex is the different. In his heart he would probably extremely be a useless beat dad who will pay his toddler help, yet under no circumstances sees his little ones. possibly the basically reason he even sees his little ones in any respect is because he would not choose human beings calling him a useless beat dad that would not care about his little ones. like you reported, you may't %. and decide which toddler you want to work out and once you want to work out them. that's not straightforward to the youngsters. Your ex desires to develop the h*ll up! both he should be a father or he would not. i'd get a court docket order (in case you do not have one already) that states he receives both between the youngsters another week-end, another holiday, and this kind of large number of weeks out of the summer season. If he fails to take both between the youngsters for his week-end, then he has to attend until eventually his next scheduled week-end beforehand he can see the youngsters. which could recommend he would bypass a month beforehand seeing the youngsters. I extremely does not conform to enable him see basically one toddler at a time. in case you may manage searching after both actual one of your little ones daily, then there is not any excuse for why he won't be able to preserve both actual one of them another Saturday and Sunday. Like I reported, he desires to develop up and initiate taking his duty as a father heavily. your little ones are not toys he can play with at the same time as he's interior the mood and some thing else of the time have you ever take care of them, so he may be loose to do what he extremely needs to do. they have thoughts and being instructed that their sibling is going to spend the week-end vacationing dad, yet they could't bypass, will basically damage them and lead them to experience unloved and undesirable. it should be more beneficial that he wasn't of their existence in any respect then to be dealt with that way.

Answer 7

It might not be as odd as you would think, considering that marriages are supposed to last forever. It could have to do with people subconsciously understanding that, and they should probably get back together.

Answer 8

I think it would be great to be able to do that. I invited my ex for dinner because my son and baby grand daughter were coming. He said 'no,', but at least I made the effort.

Answer 9

It makes you wonder if they want to be divorced...do they spend other times together?

Answer 10

If you get along, go for it.