My relationship with my wife hasn't been the best and I tend to keep trying when it seems like giving up is long over due. Is there a moment you should look for when enough is enough? Comming from a conservative upbringing, divorce is such a difficult thing to consider, but at times I think that there isn't much of a future...
What is your perspective?
2006-12-25 23:57:45 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I heard once that you know it's over when you no longer care. . .when you are no longer angry, sad, emotional. . .when you become apathetic about your marriage/partner you know it is over.
Try, try, try. . .and when you no longer feel like trying and you simply do not care. . .it is time to let go.
My best to you.
2006-12-26 02:30:36 · answer #1 · answered by YuckItUp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you look in the mirror and you don't see someone you care about any longer, when you begin to doubt your own judgment, when you find yourself crying over the family pics, and you just can't control your emotions any longer you know you've gone too far.
It's time to consider divorce when you no longer feel valued by the other person. When you don't feel love coming from her when you hold her. When you have both given up the counseling, the talking the lying the garbage on Tuesdays and when telling the truth about the little things doesn't even hurt any more.
Consider it before the respect is gone. Before someone hurts the other. Before anything happens that you both regret.
But don't do it until you've honestly tried everything. So many people just don't try. Take a break. Sure. But come back with a new resolve. Do it twice. And then if you really can't find your way, if you really just can't make things work try to be easy on eachother. Do it together. Be kind. Try to walk away with out hurting eachother too much. Leave a little something for the next person to love.
2006-12-26 00:15:54 · answer #2 · answered by outdone 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In my situation I called it quits after 25 years. We went to counseling for a long time, that kept us together, we had a daughter and I said when she turned 18 I was out of there. I stayed longer because of counseling, but in the long run he was just too controlling and I had enough of the fighting and nothing you could do would please him. He found fault with everything. So if you're totally miserable and rarely happy then it's time to get out and get a new life. I love my new single life. Our daughter thought it was the best thing to do also as she was tired of our fighting all the time.
2006-12-26 00:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by Red Velvet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've hung in there through several affairs and have forgiven but,, it's not easy to forget. A friend just retired and buried his first wife, his third wife has cancer now, he had five wives. I don't know if he was insane, of just something wrong with him. My brother, has between seven wives and, "livins" I don't know if people like this are looking for something they'll never find or, they just have no feelings and just kep "hopping" around. no feelings. I've always loved my wife. We're just old now, there's no where for me to go, what would I do. So, it's just to late for me however, if I was forty years younger, maybe I would leave.
2006-12-26 00:04:57 · answer #4 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation for years...it took me almost 10 years to realize that I was locked in a game of "Last one to die, gets the house." The house is not worth it, that's no way to live.
Now, your situation is your own, and there is no way anyone can tell you what to do...but keep in mind that if you already know what to do...and are just waiting for the approval of others before you do it, then quit waiting. The only approval that counts is your own.
2006-12-26 01:44:10 · answer #5 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try marriage counseling.
If you really can't stand her anymore, and she's the same way about you... there isn't anything you can do to fix that. You will end up hurting each other even more and if you have kids, or have kids later down the road, they'll get hurt too.
2006-12-26 00:00:11 · answer #6 · answered by SunShineShoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking it over, working to save your marriage, but if/when
she gives you an STD, and/or comes home with suck marks on her neck and A$$, runs up all your credit cards, drains your bank account(s) and life savings, kills your dog, and sells your personal things, you may wish to consider alternate options.
But what the heck, why wait!?
2006-12-26 00:03:49 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. US of A, Baby! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you feel you have really tried to make it work but you are still both very unhappy, it is time to end it.....you should not spend the rest of your life in an unhappy situation no matter what...you both deserve better....we only get one life...do your best to make it a happy one...no matter what...good luck
2006-12-26 00:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to counseling and get a future....start building something together...figuratively or literally...intertwine your lives...she's not a placeholder for the next girl...
2006-12-26 00:00:14 · answer #9 · answered by jdoug_sellers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you argue all the time, if you have sought counseling, if you can't stand the sight of each other, then it is time.
2006-12-26 00:00:00 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋