Got married to a gut 2yrs back.No one knows about it.Never stayed with him.Wanted to divorce him
long back but couldn't.Now a guy wants to marry me.We really luv each other a lot but he doesn't know about
my past.Will he ever come to know that i got divorced?I don't want to loose him.
2006-12-25 21:42:53 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Firstly you have not stated whether you are Indian living in India & married according to Indian Marriage Acts nor you have mentioned your religion or according to which religous ceromony you got married to this guy 2yrs back. Any how on the onset let me tell you if you are Indian & married according to Indian Marriage Acts you cannot get divorce simply by your not staying with him for the last 2yrs. Maximum you can be granted is decree of judicial seperation. On the basis of this decree you can approach the courts for divorce after 2 years if you have not resumed your co-hibitation with your husband. Divorce in such circumstances is posible if you are Hindu married under the Hindu Marriage Act,1955 or belong to any other religion if your marriage was solominised according to or registered under the Special Marriage Act,1954, but if you are a Christian, Jew , Parsi, or Muslim & married according to any of these religions then divorce in this manner as stated above is not possible, because in each of these cases different conditions exist for taking divorce. For a Christian getting decree of judicial seperation on ground of living seperately for 2yrs exist but even if you dont start cohibitation after 2yrs still you cannot seek divorce as it is posible in marriages solominised under the Hindu Marriage Act,1955 or the Special Marrige Act,1954. According to The Indian Divorce Act,1869 which applies to Indian Christians Divorce is possible if you prove Adultery on part of your husband along with 2years seperation. So you see in India because of different religions & no common civil code how much problem people face in getting divorce. Now as far disclosing the fact of your marriage or divorce to your new man is concerened ill say better it will be to first get the divorce then think about all these formalities. For further clarifications regarding your divorce issue you can write to me personally with all details i mentioned above.
2006-12-25 23:07:25 · answer #1 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to come clean. Tell the new guy the (awful) truth.
Honesty is absolutely necessary to build trust.
Re the divorce. If you didn't stay together, and have been separated for long enough, there should be no problem. In my jurisdiction, one year of separation and either party states that there are 'irreconcilable differences', and they can be divorced.
Realize that on your future marriage license application you have to state one of the following: bachelor or spinster,.... widow or widower,....... or divorced. It is a federal offence to lie on a government form, so you had better let your intended know the truth before you get to the licence application.
2006-12-25 22:13:00 · answer #2 · answered by bc_is_the_place_to_be 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where ever you live and what ever type of marriage you had in the past does not matter, but what matters is TRUTH.
First of all please note all relationship and especially Love Marriage and freindship are developed on some thing called TRUST. I am sure the guy who is going to marry you, trust's you and you trust him too, He would certainly like to know about your past and especially love life and I am sure you would too like to know his.
What ever you did and what ever happened to your first marriage please tell him everything in detail. If you cannot tell him write down on a piece of paper your story and give to him, make sure not to write down any names in that paper. Let him make a decision there after. You can convience him that it was your past and that you have no relationship with him what so ever in the present and will abide by in the future. Very important you have to prove what you say.
If the guy who is going to marry you really loves you might get a jerk but he will surely come back to you and he will respect you more then before for telling him the truth. Hiding things of past especially that relates to heart is going to keep you with guilt feeling rest of your life and you will not be justifying your love to his guy.
The answer to the question whether to disclose your past or not lies in your answer to this question.
Just think for a while the guy whom you are going to marry does the same thing to you, how will you feel there after?
Just think if by chance your first husband comes to know about your second marriage what will he do? He will start blackmailing you keep that in mind do not leave doors open for such opportunity for him.
And if you need a divorce from the previous guy, how easy you think it will be? You have not provided enough details but if it is legally notified then you are in a serious trouble.The answer to this Q depends under which law you got married and in which country you are living in.
2006-12-26 05:26:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past knows the uncanny knack of popping up at the wrong time. Never work out a strategy with a past hidden to your present and future partner of life, especially about as important part of your life as you mention. As a matter of fact, the previous without being annulled will make any present arrangement void and illegal.
2006-12-25 21:51:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you claim that you really love the other guy and planned to get married, I b'liv that you should begin your new life with him sincerely..... I know that TRUTH may hurt sometimes but it heal faster rather then getting hurt deeper later. Dont risk yourself... Marriage suppose to be for LIFE. If he is meant for you then nothing can change that. Trust me, he will love you more for being true and sincere to him, maybe not now but later. Only GOD knows.
2006-12-25 21:59:31 · answer #5 · answered by SweetLuv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the hell were you doing getting married to someone without living with him? Relationship of convenience. Look the guys gonna find out someday!
If you are in love tell the truth! It will make you see for yourself how much someone who says loves can bear your past. If you cannot discuss your past with someone who want to share your future with, there is nothing to hold on to in this relationship either!
2006-12-25 22:46:51 · answer #6 · answered by indiangal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love this other guy, you will tell him the truth. Everything comes out in the end. Also, how do you get married and no one knows about it. That is just wierd.
2006-12-25 21:47:37 · answer #7 · answered by girlcop1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce is not a bad thing dear......its just like plucking bad tooth from your mouth....dont feel inferior....it will create lot of psychological problems like possesiveness and some others..... you are a normal woman and your lover will surely dont think this as a great thing to be taken into account( i hope he is a nice guy)
2006-12-28 04:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and tell him all about your past.If he really loves you then he will definitely marry you.And if you don't tell him anything now..and if he finds out about your previous marriage anyhow..then the situation is gonna be ugly..He may lose faith in you..So,better to tell everything about you right now..
2006-12-25 22:35:57 · answer #9 · answered by Santo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him that you were married before. It's not a problem, if he loves he's gonna stay with you. Good luck!
2006-12-25 21:46:46 · answer #10 · answered by Georgie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋