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My husband and Iareseparated and wearetrying to instil romance into our relationship.He should know that I do not eat hardchocolates the ones wrapped in different papers .As he is vegetarian they were vegetarian chocolates. How do I tell him thatIdid not enjoy the choclolatesand not to buy them againwithouthurting his feelings.?I know it was the thought that counts but this is the second time he has bought them andhe does not take hints easily or well. They made me sick and I have serious indigestion problems. Any advice from long time married people would be gratefully accepted

2006-12-25 18:43:09 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

I did not eat the choclolates my daughter has started to eat them. Problem is he gets into a huff very easily anddoes not talk to me for ages. Problem is he sent them by post and we dont havea lot of money to waste.He works a long way from home.

2006-12-25 19:23:53 · update #1

I did not eat the choclolates my daughter has started to eat them. Problem is he gets into a huff very easily anddoes not talk to me for ages. Problem is he sent them by post and we dont havea lot of money to waste.He works a long way from home.

2006-12-25 19:23:54 · update #2

16 answers

Tell him that although you appreciate the chocolates (you do - since you appreciate the gift), you find that your stomach doesn't seem to agree with them. Let him know that the first time, your stomach felt funny, but you weren't sure what caused it and the second time it happened, it confirmed that it was the chocolates.

2006-12-25 18:46:37 · answer #1 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 2 0

He sounds a bit thoughtless and selfish, sorry to be blunt.
Can you say to him that you do not care for the chocolates he brought you and it would be better if he did not buy them again? Can you say it in a very kind gentle way that will not upset him?
If you can do this so it does not offend him too bad you are on your way to a reconciliation but if saying this in a lighthearted, kind way will offend or hurt him then you have a real problem with him, sorry again to be blunt.
I odn't know him but---if you let him know you don't like them and he brought them again, he may be passive aggressive, and if he is one of these sick people he will be nice on the outside but always seem to do things that upset you. He does it deliberatley because he is hostile secretly inside, not just to you but to everyone in his life. I don't know him but ask yourself if he always seems to do things like this, things that he should know you don't like, if it is a pattern with him.
If so read up on the passive aggressive personality disorder and also get away from him.

2006-12-25 18:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Men can be very strange & i think even if you put on the sweetest voice to tell him the chocolates don't agree with you he might turn it around & think you are ungrateful anyway!
So you need to do something a little bit different so he wont get so hurt & the only way i can think of is to buy yourself some chocolates & rewrap his & give them to him & you have yours & quickly explain they don't agree with you
keep it short & direct & use a normal voice tone

2006-12-25 19:12:43 · answer #3 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0 0

i like a sparkling domicile too. some human beings extremely kick returned than sparkling nonetheless and that i appreciate that. basically because of the fact i'm obsessive would not advise I could wreck all and sundry else's sturdy time. I grew up in a house the place my mom could flow honestly nuts as she became cleansing the domicile. She could yell and ***** approximately how she became the only one doing it... each and each time. I never do this. I come domicile from artwork and if that is messy, I sparkling it up. this is it. that is not uncomplicated to get human beings to alter their procedures. no use getting disillusioned approximately it.

2016-10-28 09:21:48 · answer #4 · answered by quinteros 4 · 0 0

it is the thought that counts, you're right. but there is something else you should know about ppl. many ppl buy as present what they would like to recieve. maybe buy your husband those chocolates, and arrange them on a nice plate together with regular good chocolates that you like and rap it up, or prepare it on a table one evening with a bottle of wine, and try to make a romantic evening in front of the tv/movie (romantic show) and if he asks who r the regular chocolates for tell him that you just fell in love with this kind. it will be like you just discovered something else you like and you would not b hurting is feeling for the thoughtful gesture. at least you know he cares enough to try to work it out. good luck.

2006-12-25 19:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by me 2 · 0 0

Tell him how wonderful his thoughts are and you are, but for some reason this candy has made you have serious indigestion problem and tell him the kind that doesn't hurt your stomach. Just be sure to let him know how much you appreciate his thoughtfulness, but you thought you should let me know what it does to you. Good luck.

2006-12-25 18:49:42 · answer #6 · answered by Dyan 4 · 1 0

Don't beat around the bush, just tell him plain and simple. If he's mature he shouldn't get offended. I mean, it's a gift for you, so he should get what you like.

Sounds like you two have communication problems. Learn to communicate with each other with out being so petty & sensitive.

2006-12-25 18:58:14 · answer #7 · answered by 2D 7 · 0 0

Don't worry about such petty stuff. Just gently tell him that next time he gets you a romantic gift that you would rather not have chocolates. Suggest something that you would like. That's what marriage is suppose to have is honesty. Otherwise how is he suppose to know you and your likes and dislikes!

2006-12-25 19:12:13 · answer #8 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 0 0

You need to tell him, that they do not agree with you and that you cannot eat them. You will be doing both of you a favor, you will not be getting gifts you do not like and he will not be wasting his money. You can tell him you appreciate the thought but maybe suggest something else that you do like.

2006-12-25 18:57:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Why on earth did you eat them to begin with if you dont like them? Also if he doesnt take hints easily, dont say anything at all. Just say thank you, take them and dont eat them.
True, it was a thoughless gift which is what I think bothers you more.

2006-12-25 18:47:57 · answer #10 · answered by chiara 4 · 2 0

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