He left 4 mos ago after his youngest child from a previous marriage had turned 18. Apparently he wanted me just to help him raise his kids! He's apparently had a gf for sometime before he left. We were together 14 years and married for twelve. He has told his relatives and mine things that have made them angry with me and has done many things to harass me, humiliate me, and is enjoying getting help from his relatives on this and the attention he is getting. He is a controlling person and still trying to control things. He still comes to the house when I'm away after the court awarded control of the house to me. I changed the locks but he is still gets in. He always leaves evidence that he has been here and tells me I'm crazy and he hasn't been here. He has videotaped and spied on me. He is cruel and out for revenge, but I don't know why. I have done nothing serious to him or his kids. He won't stop trying to get even for whatever he thinks I did. Need advise on what to do.
2006-12-25 18:23:37 · 10 answers · asked by Alexxandra1591 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1. a journal
2. self defense classes
3. a restraining order
4. this type of guy will try to kill you if he thinks for an instant that you have the upper hand.
5. a dog that hates him
2006-12-25 18:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think we are getting the "whole story" here. There has to be a reason for his anger. You haven't shown one in your question.
People don't get angry for no reason and begin to do these sorts of things.
I think it's time you be honest with your question and tell us what you have done that may have led to his becoming angry.
While you appear to believe you have done nothing serious to him, he on the other hand must believe you have done something. Otherwise he wouldn't be doing what he is doing.
Perhaps you need to meet with him and have an adult conversation and try to work through this confrontation. Maybe consider counseling.
Also, if you want him to stay out of the house, and the police don't take action. Install a security system in your home, it will set off an alarm and notify police automatically when it is activated. He won't know the code to shut it off and will be arrested when the police arrive.
But get a restraining order that orders him to stay away from you and your home if he violates it, especially by entering your house then he'll be arrested and charged with criminal tresspassing and other crimes and will sit in jail for quite some time.
2006-12-26 05:18:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's see. Going to the police did not work? Did you go to private sector? get legal advice from lawyer! hire a personal detective "private eye" that will help you to monitor how your husband breaks the law (will help with civil case against him).
If you're still scared ask for police protection or hire a body guard on a need basis. He tries to intimidate you to do what he wants. Two can play the same game. You just have to do smarter and legal. Having your family and Friends support you morally/financially will be a big help for you!
Once you decide to go down this road ( you should if he keeps this act). Than you must act accordingly or you will be a victim.
2006-12-26 02:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by Gator 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be secure 1st. I am ending a 10 year relationship and the ex-has an on-line BF but I never considered any of what he is doing to you. I like the answer you got with starting a journal, but seriously I agree with a restraining order or what ever it takes to keep him away... good luck
2006-12-26 03:04:18 · answer #4 · answered by gueroslaptop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this just seems like an issue for the courts. If you are in charge of the house and he keeps coming around and it makes you uncomfortable, then you need to keep yourself safe. He wanted to leave but is still obsessed? then you need to legally find ways to get away. this may mean selling the house and moving away but you'll have a better chance of moving on
2006-12-26 02:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by derek3346 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sell the house and move into a secured apartment building.
2006-12-26 02:26:25 · answer #6 · answered by Feeling new @ 42 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
fill u r house with the things he hates OR TELL U R CHILDREN AND UR X HUSBAND I AM SURE THE 14 YEARS MADE A DIFFRENCE IF NOT FILL U R WIT THE THINGS HEHATES CONTACT ME IF U fell sad
all the best
u sound a nice person and he is crazy
2006-12-26 02:52:35 · answer #7 · answered by forever_cofused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
restraining order
also buy a survelaiance camera that has a motion sensor and dated for the house,use his methods to cure yourself of this nut.
2006-12-26 02:30:10 · answer #8 · answered by looken4answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take out a restraining order against him and have a professional come in to assess your home security system
2006-12-26 02:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by panda64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
panda64 said it all, i was going to write pretty much the same thing..
2006-12-26 02:39:00 · answer #10 · answered by donewithschool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋