how do you relate to a family member who dosent except your sex preference?

Question

i've been involved in females for 6 years now and my uncle speaks very bad of me,it hurts,i feel like your family should be family egardless of who,or what i'm in love with.

Answer 1

Let me tell you a story. 4 years ago on New Year's, my mom started feeling sick so she and my dad came home from a party early ... only to find me getting my midnight kiss from my female "best friend". My dad is a real traditionalist guy; he swears up and down that sexual orientation is a choice and that I was offending God. I tried explaining to him that it was just who I was, but he wouldn't hear it. He said all kinds of hurtful things to me ... including telling me I was going to hell. My mom, who is slightly more liberal, tried talking to him ... but to no prevail. Finally, I confronted him. I told him that he could have whatever opinions he wanted to about my lifestyle but I refused to be insulted in my home, by my own father anymore. I told him that if he truly loved me, he would want me to be happy, despite his feelings about the situation. But I made it very clear that we would have no relationship if he continued to insult me.

Turns out, it was something he just didn't want for me ... and he thought I was ruining my life. And since he didn't know how else to get through to me, he thought that insulting me and making me feel humiliated would be the most efficient way. He learned quickly, however, that it would only drive us apart.

My father still does not agree with me, and I still would not be able to bring a girlfriend over to meet my parents, or to be involved in holiday celebrations ... and that still hurts. But I no longer have to deal with the constant bad mouthing.

As much as it hurts, some people in your family will never accept you for who you really are. But you have to stand up for yourself. Regardless of who is trying to insult you, you need to make it clear that you will not put up with it. Period. This might cause animosity between you and some of your family members ... but your family should love you, and act like they love you ... no matter what.

Answer 2

I really feel for you. I am straight... but I feel the same thing from my family. I am a single mom, pregnant with my second. I love being a sigle mom and love the way my life turned out. Some people are to narrow minded to accept you the way you are. It is very disappointing. I had to set major bounderies with my familya dn now they say nothing about it to me. I would speak to your uncle or come up with some 'consequence'. YOu don't deserve verbal abuse. If he wants to crtisize you, he can sit there and quietly sulk like my family does now. Your fmaily is supposed to love you regardless of who you are. I used to feel that 'I am tired of being loved IN SPITE of. I really need and want to be loved BECAUSE OF who I am'. Family does not change. People like this will continue to disappoint you. I find it easier, when you expect them to disaapoint you, then they are at least meeting your expecations and it helps you accept the situation. Good luck):

Answer 3

it took me an my immediate family to come to terms that i will never bore a child, that there will be no man in my life. my dad and mom love me for me, and me and my dad can finally joke and
understand each other a whole lot better. as far as your uncle
tell him he just mad cause you gettin more than he is.:)
if its just your uncle, and not your immediate family, tell him to bug off. as long as you are happy, what does it matter to you
that narrow minded family members think.
tonya my late partner, we were together for 8.5 years,
she had 13 brothers and sisters total. her mother told her
out of all my kids, you two are the happiest. this is a woman
that lived and was raised in west virginia, and had a redneck family.
give your family time to come to terms, but if they keep treating you badly, just wash your hands of the ones that are mean to you.
you have found your happiness, live it, and let your uncle do his own thing. its bad for your health to allow others to hurt you verbally. let the words roll off you, then maybe he will shut up.
some family members dont have anything good going on in there life so they have to make others feel bad to have anything to talk about.
good luck and god bless you and your gf.

Answer 4

Don't take it to heart. Some people, even though they are family, look down on same sex relationships. Just do what makes you happy and forget what everyone else says. They don't matter only you do. Good luck in your relationship.

Answer 5

I agree with you. It shouldn't matter. I'm sure your uncle has some issues with self consciousness and has to talk about you and make you sound like a horrible person just to make himself feel better, so don't worry about it.

Answer 6

well........you can tell ur uncle that he cannot change you no matter what and family is family if he will not be there for u threw anything u dont want to be around him because u want his support but only if he will give it

Hope i helped

Answer 7

Obviously one woman is Ok. But Females very bad. & your relatives have rights to speak

Answer 8

some folks have their own ideas on what they think is right and what is wrong. talk to them 1 on 1. and see if you can change their mind. and, if you can't then you have to decide if your going to put up with their ridicule or if you going to avoid even being around them. depends on how much your willing to take.

Answer 9

Just tell them you were born a lesbian. It's science. Oh, and maybe you should move out of the South.