My boyfriend and I been together off and on for almost 5 years. We have a sone together and I caught him cheating on me one time. After that we broke up about something pertaining to him cheating on me with someone else and everything was fine and then I was at school and people was telling me that he was sleeping with all the little girls and so I ask him and at first he denys it and then he finally comes clean and tells me it was when we were broken up. Now we are trying to work through things and he has given me an engagement ring and promises to not ever cheat on me again. What should I do?
2006-12-25 17:42:40 · 16 answers · asked by sexybackmami07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Girl if he cheated on you once only; well maybe .
If he cheats twice he'll always be a cheater.
Bank That !
2006-12-25 17:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you have heard the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater." There are probably some guys who do have the capability to really change, but to be honest, most do not. If he is cheating on you already, he will again, and for all you know, you may be doing it now.
If it has been off and on again for 5 years, it is time to make it off permanently. That is entirely too long for a relationship to be going back and forth. If you two cannot commit to each other and stay that way, you have no business marrying each other. Time to get out before you are tied down and find someone who WON'T cheat on you.
2006-12-25 18:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by Go Coogs! 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't know him, but I assume that he sees you as someone who is able to provide him with a sense of stability (for him, not you) since you took him back after all those times he cheated on you. I don't think you should consider marrying him... I would give him more time if you two are engaged just to see what happens. There are many red flags and you should consider them very carefully... because once you make those vows they will be very hard to break! Good luck and take care!
2006-12-27 19:00:58 · answer #3 · answered by purringout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Figure out if you can really trust him.
Give one big last chance.
I'd just make sure you are willing to trust him. you can only know that in yourself if you really can or not. If you know him well enough you should know if his sincerety is real.
Dont be afraid to engage him in serious discussion about your sex life together. Really get down right to it and understand one another's needs in that regard and what is going to be accepted and whats going to be compromise.
The only thing to fear is moving on with uncertainty or not having these kinds of mature discussions together. Your family honor, and stability in finances, emotions and even health are on the line with this issue. His cheating can have a big complication thats not so apparent on the surface.
Make sure you engage him with serious discussion to open him up and really hear him out if he really has been thinking about it then such words in this direction should come pouring out of him. Although may take him some warming up, such words can be difficult to share with someone you are thinking objectively of because he's concerned for your reactions. You have to make him very comfortable with being himself so that he can truly elevate his intimacy with you.
He's not the only guy that's had his hiabatus from growing up too fast and its a healthy normal instinct to answer such a call in the youth. But if he's given you engagement, he's given you something to think about. And it at least means he's thinking about you too, in hopes you will be there for him down for the long haul. I wish you both luck and blessings of your higher power.
2006-12-25 17:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by jorluke 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait A L O N G time before you actually go thru and marry the guy. Let him prove what he says 1st. And don't go buying anything expensive together. IE:cars houses, boats/toys. I can tell you have a bunch of issues to work through. Think alot about permanently hooking to this guy...Divorce costs ALOT more than marriage.
2006-12-25 17:51:36 · answer #5 · answered by Psycomagnet 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't mess around with cheaters. I myself would not stay with someone who cheated on me - their first time would be their last time because I'd leave - BUT I do understand how some people give 2nd chances... Well, a second chance is just that - a "2nd" chance - after the 3rd, 4th, 5th time - well, it's obvious you're not going to leave him - He gets away with it all the time and you apparently don't care because you're letting him "cheat" on you by staying with him.
2006-12-25 17:49:05 · answer #6 · answered by karespromise 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Don't marry this man. It will make it harder on you when he cheats again, and believe me, he WILL cheat again. You deserve better than that.
2006-12-25 17:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Obviously he's too dumb to realize that YOU'RE the one that cares for him, not the girls he's sleeping around with. Try and find a guy who will treat you properly, you deserve it.
2006-12-25 17:47:45 · answer #8 · answered by shoe 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No. Save some hurt find an honest man who is willing to make a real commitment.
2006-12-25 17:50:12 · answer #9 · answered by foodguy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Trust your instincts. You're only on this site because deep down you know what to do and you dont want to do it. If you marry him it will be even harder for you to let him go. It's best to move on now.
2006-12-25 17:46:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋