Whats should I do?

Question

I have a family member who is dating some one who is on drugs and hasn't keep a job in over a year. She been coming around less and less. She didn't even come for christmas. She never missed chrismas. She not her self anymore. I told her how I felt and so has the other family members. What should I do? Let her lose everything. Thats the track she going if she dosen't change.

Answer 1

well this guy friend of hers isn't someone you want her to be around, It sounds like he,s starting the old mind trip,making her dependent on him and or his drugs,so that even if she had smarts in the beginning,shes not using them now!did you call her today? to ask why she didn't show? or just go by and tell her you don't take no for a answer?because she might not be able to go any where without someone just showing up!don't distance yourself from her,now more than ever because you basically told her that you know that she dose dope.that doesn't mean close the door,she needs to know that the welcome signs always there!that your willing to go the extra mile with her! because shes scared and knows its going to get her into nothing but trouble but if all that is open is what shes trying to get away from will its a familiar place even if its wrong!she has to feel that she,s loved,wanted,needed, and welcomed, sort-of like you and the family are the light at the end of the tunnel!
merry Christmas,hoping you a victorious New Year!

Answer 2

Pray for her. Try to monopolize her time without letting her know you're trying to save her. Gather some support from friends, use your collective resources. You may have to do an intervention. Hire a private investigator to find the source of the drugs and get the police to sting the highest possible people involved. Some people come out of this really well, just so long as the drugs are not the more serious kind, or not too much has been used.

Answer 3

Doesn't she have her own family?
If she does, then suggest an intervention to get her in a drug rehab program.

Otherwise, it's up to 'the family member' who is dating her.
(he must be dating her a long time since U mentioned previous Christmas Holidays she did come over). Why does this person care about her so much if she is so distructive?

You must care alot about her to be so concerned too.
But, other than talking to her privately and pushing her to rehab, what else could you do?

Answer 4

Really, you can only tell her how you feel, which will probably piss her off. But when it comes down to it, it's her decision, and when she's done, she'll be done (it might take a couple trys, but your opinion isn't going to change how she feels about the druggie, it may however change how she feels towards you.) You may want to just let her know, you'll always be there for her if she ever needs any help or support with anything.

Answer 5

Its not your choice its hers and the more you push the more they will go the other way. Tell her how much you miss her and are concerned for her well being and just be there to pick up the pieces.Ask her why she ignored you all at Christmas time and tell her how sad it made you feel.

Answer 6

WELL I FEEL 4 U BUT SOMETIMES WE HAVE 2 LET OUR LOVE ONES LEARN THE HARD WAY BECAUSE SOMETIMES RELATIONSHIPS BLIND PEOPLE AND THEY DO NOT SEE WHAT IS GOING ON UNTIL IT SMACKS THEM IN THE FACE. ALL I CAN SAY IS BE THERE 4 HER WHEN SHE NEEDS U WHETHER ITS NOW OR LATER BUT SHE WILL NEED U EVENTUALLY.

Answer 7

hold an intervention.. get her to meet you somehow and have your family and her friends there to tell her how you all feel to try to open her eyes and help her be herself again

Answer 8

i went through this with someone too. after 7 years, i just accept that it is what it is.

Answer 9

back off let her ruin her own life if you get involved she will bring you down with unnecessary drama

Answer 10

well i'll tell you the guy she is dating ain't getting high alone