Hi, I am 39 yrs old and my husband is 40. My mother in law is trying to turn my husband into a mamas boy. She has even gone as far as to cry her eyes out because our new home is 30 minutes away. She wants us to live next door. She has pried her way into our finances. Brain washed our children into trusting her and not us. Decorated our home with her things which i gave to good will the other day and moved her **** out. She comes over to cook us dinner and leaves without eating. She never shows up to visit with us. She gives us chores to do in our home and fixes everything she takes out our garbage and starts doing our laundry. She never stops even when we ask her to please stop. She buys me see longerei at christmas. She interferes with our kids education, buys my husbands undies still at age 40. She and her husband have even convinced my daughter to leave her allowance at their house, even checks for birthdays from my own parents to my kids are taken from my home.
2006-12-25 15:22:47 · 16 answers · asked by Gabs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For her to have so much power, then she is not trying to turn your husband into a mamas boys...your husband is and has always been a mamas boy for him to allow her to intrude on your life and your kids life as much as she does. A person will only do what they are permitted to do, so obviously your husband has allowed your mother into your lives like this. The only person who can change this situation is your husband. Both you and your husband have to confront your mother-in-law and tell her in no uncertain terms, that she is only the grandmother, and she will start acting like one or she will not be allowed to see her grandkids. You and your husband are the ones who are supposed to be in control, but somehow your mother-in-law thinks she is in control. Maybe the real problem is not your mother-in-law, but your husband. Obviously your husband has not said anything to his mother for her to think she has control over your lives. Your husband is the one who holds the answers. Speak to him, tell him he needs to remind his mother that you two are the parents, and she is the grandparent. You cannot do it alone, you need the support of your husband, and your husband needs to be strong.
I wish you all the best.
2006-12-25 15:37:44 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is something LEGAL that can be done, but before I say what it is, are you sure your husband is wanting her 'out' or 'gone'.
And I don't understand why you. or your husband have never
'forcefully' removed her from your home.
I don't mean be abusive, but you or your husband could take her by the arm and show her to the door.
Obviously your husband isn't as concerned about this as you are,
or he's just a 'wuss' (chicken) in dealing with his mother.
Also, how come she gets hold of the kids checks!
DON'T LET THE KIDS GIVE THEM TO HER!!
Something seems really weird about all this, especially the way it has been handled.
NOW, get some backbone and tell your 'HUSBAND' to get her
the '****' out of your house!!
Legally you can file a restraining order against her..
2006-12-25 15:49:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you parent your children? If you are involved in your childrens lives, then you have no reason to worry.
Talk to you MIL WITH your spouse present and also without your spouse present. Don't accuse, just explain that you need some time to yourself. If she cries her eyes out at the fact that you moved 30 minutes away, explain that your family LOVES time with her but there's a time to stop.
You won't be able to stop her from buying you clothes or underwear, so just take that with stride. At least she's trying.
Also, try arranging with her one night a week where she can spend time with your children or help you out somehow. Give her a job. Don't just tell her to get lost; work with her to keep her in your lives just not as constant.
2006-12-25 15:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relay for Life is an Amazing organization. I have been a Captain for years. Last year our team surpassed our goal of $10,000. I understand though that now everyone feels the same loyalty and support to Relay that I do. If someone doesn't want to donate, that is ok. EVERYONE has their own causes and you shouldn't take it personally if someone doesn't donate. Has your wife asked your parents if they want to buy a Luminary for someone in Honor of/In Memory of? Has she sold anything that they could buy (Dinners, etc)? Your wife is taking it personally because of her Mother's death and that is ok, because it helps you to be dedicated and it is the help of her and others like her that makes the Relay successful. You would think that your parent's would understand the dedication that your wife has for Relay and for their love of your wife, they should support it. BUT, it is their money and they have to decide what organizations that they will support. It is their decision and you should not have asked thema bout it unless it was something like this "Hey Mom, have you had time to do the donation for Relay" and let it drop if she didn't answer or wasn't interested. Now, no matter what they do, it will not be right. If your parents give money now, it will be because you cornered your Mom. It will not mean anything to your wife because it wasn't given from the heart and it will not mean anything from your Mom because she did it for you and to keep peace.
2016-05-23 06:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There has to be more to the story here, I understand a mother-in-law from hell, because I have one also. Maybe she needs something to do to keep her occupied. Did
your husband or you try to talk to her? She is the children's Grandmother, so you need to try to figure out
a way to ask her to back off without creating more trouble.
Good Luck. Have you thought of moving out of state?
2006-12-25 17:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd see the police. She's tresspassing, stealing, stalking and entering a home that isn't hers. I'd change the locks, change the phone numbers. She has no business in your personal data, has no business with your children. You need the police, a restraining order and a lawyer. You may have to Backer Act her (72 hrs held in the nut house at the local hospital. )she's dangerous and if you think she's not, read what you wrote and tell me thats not dangerous.
2006-12-25 15:30:00 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to your husband to tell her she needs to leave the two of you alone. Don't let her in and change the locks if she has a key. No one can do these things unless you allow it and since it is your husbands mother he should tell her to but out.
2006-12-25 15:26:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ohhell no! Your husband needs to tell her to get the **** out of your relationship. You are both adults and know how to live your lives. If you don't own your home I would suggest moving further away from her if it is possible. Someone needs to tell her to go adopt some childrean to keep her busy and out of your life.
2006-12-25 15:26:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was going to answer, but rightio said exactly what I was going to say. I will just add that if you are not able to move away, at least change your locks, keep the doors locked, and do not give her a key.
2006-12-25 16:08:06 · answer #9 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get a restraining order. She's a freakin nut case and she's going to ruin your life. Or start sending her therapy literature about empty-nest and Munchhausen syndrome (you hurt your kids on purpose for attention) she may start to do things to your kids, what if she convinces them to move in with her once they get to be 18?
2006-12-25 15:28:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋