My friend goes on a trip to South Dakota every year to see her relatives for New Years. This year she asked me to go with. The thing is, we're leaving Thursday morning and would be staying at her dad's apartment until Sunday. The only problem is I have asthma, and her dad chain smokes. Every time I go there I wheeze and my chest hurts a lot, and I'm on medication for my asthma right now too...I want to go to South Dakota with her, but I don't know if I want to stay at her dad's house that long. I mean, it's Winter break from school and I like to spend some time with my family. How can I tell her that? I still really want to go to SD, but I don't know how else I could go without going to her dad's, and I'm afraid I'd hurt her feelings.
2006-12-25 15:04:47 · 13 answers · asked by stephygirl4ever 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Talk to her face to face and just be honest. Let her know you are sorry, and tell her you aren't meaning to hurt her feelings. She might be hurt, but she will understand. If you are good friends things will work out.
2006-12-25 15:08:12 · answer #1 · answered by dietcokes4me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to choose one or the other, I think.
If you decide to go to South Dakota: Explain to your friend about your health condition and tell her that you have nothing against her dad but you would like to stay at a different place so you won't get sick. She should understand as long as you say it nicely and she is understanding.
There's gotta be a way where maybe you can stay with her at her aunt's house or something. Maybe another family member that you know wouldn't mind you staying at their place for awhile.
If you don't decide to go: Explain to her about your health condition and how you don't know where else to go besides her Dad's. Then tell her that your family is in town and you'd like to spend a little time with them.
If it were me though, I'd see if I could stay with a different family member-if not, I'd just stay home.
This is all up to you. Whatever you decide though, thank her kindly for inviting you!
2006-12-25 23:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only one way to go here without hurting her feelings. Blame it on the asthma. Express how you really want to go but your symptoms are getting worse with your asthma, etc. A friend is one that looks out for your best interests over their own. If she does not do this then I would re-think the friendship.
2006-12-25 23:07:53 · answer #3 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth. I'm sure she'll understand. I don't think you should go at all. Even if you stay in a hotel, you'll be going to her Dad's house from time to time and you shouldn't be near that much smoke. This is a health issue and I'm sure she'll want what's best for you.
2006-12-25 23:10:58 · answer #4 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest! it's YOUR health we are talking about! She shouldn't be upset, and if she is, try explaining to her that you'd really love to go, but any other time you have, it really made you feel awful because of your asthma and his smoking. It also might help to have some sort of facts to present her with on the effects of an asthmatic being around cigarette's...especially one who smokes like a chimney. Good Luck.
2006-12-25 23:09:21 · answer #5 · answered by Jaybird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is suppose to be a freind then she would understand your health problem, and accept it. Instead see if you guys can get money for a hotel room or something like that, so that you can be in a safer enviorment. And if she don't understand then she is not all that great of a freind anyways
2006-12-25 23:09:54 · answer #6 · answered by tuffchevy86 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way to tell her is to be honest. if you make up some excuse then she will most likely find out and get mad. your asthma is a good reason not to go. she should understand that.
2006-12-25 23:15:51 · answer #7 · answered by Impala_Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is a good friend then you can be honest with her and it wont hurt her feelings....maybe she can even have a talk with her Dad about him smoking indoors when she visits with her friends...passive smoking is bad for anyone not just someone sufferring from asthma
2006-12-25 23:08:08 · answer #8 · answered by panda64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what can i tell you that a hard chocie. but we dont want to hurt no ones feelings sowhy dont you tell her what you just wrote. tell that you dont want to stay to long and that her dads smokes and it harms you alot.or tell you can only be there a few days and tell her you have to come back alittle elaier than planed.hope it works out good remeber to have fun with your family too.happy holidays.
2006-12-25 23:12:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, her daddy is putting your health in danger...if she doesnt understand that then she is not a friend worth having...
2006-12-25 23:07:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋