I have a friend who is gay and he likes flirting with me. Calls me stuff like "cute", touches my hands and stuff. I honestly do not mind the flirting, sometimes I enjoy the attention. I have let him know over and over that he will get no where with the flirting. I know I am pretty much attracted to girls. Am I being unfair by letting him continue or should I just ask him to stop to save possible hearth breaks and misunderstandings?
2006-12-25 14:04:16 · 18 answers · asked by Prof. Em 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I've flirted with my straight friends my entire life (well since early teens) -- no one has ever been offended, and I've never been misled. To be fair and honest, when I was young a number of my straight friends liked me to s**k their d**ks and asked me to regularly -- but I never "expected" to be asked just because they flirted with me.
I've been with the same partner now for 15 years (tomorrow actually) -- and I still have straight friends that flirt with me -- and more than one, both my age and younger, who will go to gay clubs with us sometimes (we don't go often) and even like dancing with one or both of us -- there is no sexual interest there but they are FRIENDS. That means a lot more to some of us than to others -- but...
For whatever its worth -- I think you should just be his friend and flirt all you want. Telling him once with one or two reminders ought to be enough for him, unwind and let both of you enjoy your friendship -- friendship can easily mean that you love one another very much -- even if there could never be any sex between you. I know a lot of people who are closer to their best friends (in an emotional sense) than to their wives. Traditionally that wasn't viewed as unusual, and honestly, in functional relationships, I still don't think it is. If you can't relax totally however, you can't enjoy the friendship as it "should" be enjoyed.
Good luck, remember you are great.
Kind thoughts,
Reyn
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-12-26 03:25:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, thanks for being understanding. Most straight guys would fell uncomfortable with this situation. I do not think you are leading him on considering you have already told him over and over that you are not interested with him. You already made it clear, so I do not see any possible misunderstanding. Just enjoy the attention as long as he would not put you in an awkward or uncomfortable situation. He is just trying to tease you and is hoping that you would respond back with some affection. Gays are sometimes persistent ;-)
2006-12-26 01:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by PAXson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do nothing:you already told him.that you are not interested and that his flirting will get him nowhere.
He on the other hand is hoping for that one chance:tough luck on his part.
He is the one not being honest with himself.
He should stop this annoying behavior of him.
Let him look elsewhere:he might have this fixation of hitting it of with a straight guy.
Why should you even put up with this:next time tell him to Soddy off.
He will not stop by himself :it's totally up to you.
If you don't mind the things he does?Then let him:but keep repeating to him that it will never lead somewhere:then it is his choice to get his heart broken.
greetings:Rob.xxxx
2006-12-26 02:28:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of the situation as if it were a girl who was doing the same thing. What would you do? Would you lead her on or not? This situation is common with all people, gay and straight. Personally, if a guy who I had told I was not attracted to him continued to flirt with me, I would wonder if he was respecting my boundaries. I would question the friendship.
2006-12-25 22:09:35 · answer #4 · answered by mizchulita 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are totally leading him on. You should have stopped it long ago. If you are not interested you should tell him so and make it very clear that the flirting must stop. He is most likely getting signals from you that he has a chance so he continues on. Be kind and don't let it go on any longer.
2006-12-25 23:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he's focusing completely on trying to get with you, then it's time to break the habit so that he can move on. If it's just a little flirting amongst the rest of his well-adjusted life, then don't worry about it unless you have a problem with it.
2006-12-26 00:45:32 · answer #6 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say let it continue. you have already told him that you are not interested in a relationship and that you prefer girls, so it is on him if he continues. you enjoy the attention so keep enjoying
2006-12-26 01:06:06 · answer #7 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've told him up front that nothing's gonna happen, I say let him continue to have his innocent fun. Right? Sometimes that's what it comes down to is innocent fun; especially considering you're cool with it and all.
2006-12-27 02:37:22 · answer #8 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, it doesn't hurt to try lol....just kidding. Well, Why would you like the attention from a gay friend? I think you're a bit interested and probably have feelings for him.
2006-12-25 22:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by Bibi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are really straight then you should of stopped the flirting... You should be thinking about what gender you really like.
2006-12-26 01:59:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋