how do u get past an argument if both people are too prideful to apologize??

Question

my husband and i have been fighting so much in the past week that we now live in seperate rooms of the house and dont speak....i know i should just apoligize but that would be lying because im not sorry....i dont want to go into detail of the argument but any suggestions will help...we have been together for 4 yrs and married for almost 2....

he does think he is right...he said things will stay this way until i apoligize....i havnt spoke to him all day and he wants me to apoligize for being a bi*ch today...i havnt said anything...

his whole argument is all about winning and being right ....im sick of feeling like a slave to him!!

Answer 1

Well, counseling is definitely in order. Outside of that, I suggest a mature, civil confrontation. Don't catch him by surprize. let him know you are interested in making things better between you two and want to set a time to discuss it.

Prior to meeting, write down all of your points. Read them over and question them yourself. Are any of them selfish. The only cause of divorce is selfishness. Determine which ones you are willing to compromise on, etc.

Then when it's time for the confrontation. The following is a guidline of successful confrontation.

1. Confirm the relationship.
Let him know how you feel about him in your heart.

2. Discuss the issue.
Don't badger him. Tell him where you disagree or are bothered by his actions, etc.

3. Discuss how you both will deal with the situation.
There will need to be compromise and understanding. If you don't understand why he needs something he is asking for, ask him. It may be more important than you might think. Remember love is the desire for another's happiness above your own.

4. Discuss how this change will take effect from here on.
Don't let the discussion end without it coming into effect.

5. Reconfirm the relationship.
Hopefully there's a hug involved in this . . maybe more.

If for some reason you can't come to an understanding. You need a mediator. Depending on where you are, you might even find a free one. Just someone who is looking from the outside in.

Good luck. Here's some food for thought:

Answer 2

okie girl u guys are acting like lil kids. DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY. Just think of what you have to say and be very calm about it and u step up. Since he aint got the balls to then you go up to him and take it over. You two are married and u need to work it out. that's what marriage is all about. You will have lots of arguments down the road and for each argument u can't just stop talking. that will hurt your marriage. Take turns talking to one another. Let him hear your side and after you are done gently tell him that you want to hear what he has to say. If you don't want to apologize just say waht is on your mind and how you would like it if some things would be your way b/c you both need to help one another out and lean against one another for support during your entire life and through marriage. Good Luck Hun.

Answer 3

Going to bed angry when you picked up a fight with your spouse is the first sign of a crack the solid wall of married life. Don't let this become a continental divide.

Women, unfortunately, are the one that does the compromise part. Why? I do not know. But it works everytime. The problem occurs when both are at opposite ends and refuse to come together.

The fun is in making up. You have wild sex after you say sorry (whether you mean it or not). Everything is forgotton. You promise to each other never to fight again. (but, you fight again, though...!! and you make up...!!)

Answer 4

If only both of you are on a dating stage, its easy for you get out and end up the relationship. but, you are married to this man and keep in mind that you promise in front of the altar, you'll be there for him "for better and for worst". So, in due respect of the promises you made with each other. Set aside the pride and anger. At this time, swallow your pride and ask for forgiveness. Don't get bothered who exactly started the fight, just remember, it is us (womens)who always adjust for everything. Thats the hardest part we do as a woman, absorbing everything.
Take care!

Answer 5

Marriage is about giving and taking and sacrifing. If your marriage means so little to you that you feel you have to feel this--you better get counseling and fast. Communication is the key component and obviously it has been lost. You are losing time and love by acting the way you are acting now. You might feel like a slave--but are you--really?

Answer 6

Even if you were not wrong, you were wrong at some point by letting it get that out of hand. So was he for that matter. You two need some help before you lose whatever good stuff there is between you two. One or both of you need to suck it up and apologize for at least letting it get that out of hand. Good luck. I know it can be pure hell from time to time but it is worth it if you can get through it together.

Answer 7

Depends on what the argument was about, and why and what was said. Are you two just 'venting' at each other because of some outside problem? Kids? Family? Finances? Sex? Just plain tired of looking at each other? Why aren't you sorry? Is he? Alittle more detail might help.

Answer 8

Perhaps just say, "We've been fighting a lot lately, I'd like to keep it civil, but please understand I need a little space right now to think bout everything so I handle it correctly."

Don't apologize until you're ready, but buy a little time to think about the fight and to properly analyze how you feel about it.

And I'm sorry about your fight. My hubby has been a bit of a jackhole too lately, even today.....

Answer 9

Be the first and set an example. Theres nothing wrong in admitting you dont want to admit your sorry but you do want to work things out. If your too prideful to say your sorry, at least dont be too prideful in starting conversation

Answer 10

Carry on not talking to each other and when 6 months have passed, time to get a divorce.