Is it rude to tell your friend that you don't want to hear about her and her boyfriend?

Question

I'm 18 and I have a friend and the other day she was telling me a story about her aunt embarrassing her in front of her boyfriend and I got really annoyed and told her that I don't want to hear about her boyfriend. She doesn't talk about him constantly it's just when she does talk about him I get annoyed even if she's just trying to continue a conversation. I've never had a boyfriend before so I don't get all the constant need to talk about someone I'm already dating. We talked it over and patched things up, but she was saying that when I get a boyfriend I'll be the same way so I shouldn't be like rude to her when she talks about her boyfriend. So I'm wondering is it rude to tell your friend that you don't want to hear about them and their boyfriend?

I told her that it did make me feel jealous. She said she feels bad for me and that kind of made me mad all over again. In my past experience with friends once they get boyfriends our friendships are usually over and I hate when that happens so I try and avoid them when they do have boyfriends. She hasn't brought up her boyfriend since and I'm glad but she's talking to me less.

Answer 1

Yep, she's right....you will want to talk about your boyfriend. But if she is your friend you should be willing to listen to things she has to say whether its her boyfriend or family or anything else. That is what friends do, they listen to what others have to say.

Answer 2

I do not think jealously has anything to do with your case at all.
I just think you are very RUDE.

Never having a boy-friend has absolutely nothing to do with a constant need to talk. You are self-centered. You are mean to the person you call friend. If you were her friend you would listen to her. You would be sharing her happiness and her unhappiness and her embarrassment that her aunt bestowed upon her in front of her boy-friend.

I do not agree with anyone here if they try to sooth your actions over for you. At age 18 you should have compassion and caring, and not only on your terms. Control your temper and learn how to care more.

The bottom line is apologize and never cut her or any one you want to call friend off again.

Answer 3

I don't think it's rude, but you might find a better way to redirect the conversation. I understand about not wanting to hear about her boyfriend. Especially if you aren't focused on that type of relationship right now. (Congradulations)

First remeber, that to her there's no one like him.
-She's wrong. so when she mentions him, bring up someone else exactly like that.
Second, she thinks he has traits even you would like.
-Maybe, but I'll bet he's not your type. Say something like "I hate it when men do that".
Third, a simple redirection is always good.
-If you're walking by a ice cream parlor, it's all about the ice cream baby. Love that ice cream. Could eat it till Jesus comes.

Anything except him as the primary focus. Do this and pretty soon, she'll be trained like a monkey. When the monkey gets shocked enough, even he quits reaching for the banana.

Answer 4

NO!! i have a friend that talks about her boyfriend way to much! But i do know what you mean when you say that when she does talk about him its just more than you want to hear or its just you dont feel like talking about him when its your "girl time"! Maybe when she pauses bring something else up then start a conversation about that before she starts again!! Good luck!

Answer 5

You are still very young but you should know that you are being rude by now. You are not a good friend to her. The biggest part of being a friend is to listen and be there for them. Sometimes I don't want to hear the same ole conversation over and over my loved ones but I listen. I know that they have done the same thing for me.

Answer 6

It's not rude but at least you know that you might of hurt her feelings. Just as long as you tell her that you are her friend and if she really really really needs to talk you about her boyfriend thats important, that you are there for her.

Answer 7

Sorta, it may show that your kinda jealous & not happy for her. I had a girlfriend in highschool that was extremely jealous becuz I had a boyfriend when she didn't. One time when one guy was interested in me & asked me out when she was with, he left the room & I asked her what she thought & she said she didn't really like him. So I blew him off... later she told me she thought he was cute. Then later when I was seeing someone else she was always b***chy & didn't have anything nice to say about him. Was annoyed kinda like you. Later when she finally got a boyfriend, that's all she talked about! :) And I didn't knock it out of courtesy to her as she was happy. :)

Answer 8

It is one thing if your friend talks about nothing but her boyfriend, but you said that she doesn't. I can understand getting upset because you are single and have nothing to add to the conversation of 'boyfriends', but your friend was not trying to upset you, she is right it was rude of you.

Answer 9

You do not want to hear about it because you are jealous of her!!! Grow up, sweetie......you are the one with the problem, not her. But, set your boundaries and just tell her that you do not want to discuss her boyfirend. But, don't be surprised if you see less and less of her. Friendship should be unconditional.......you have a lot of growing up to do.

Answer 10

no you would be surprised but alot of people dont feel the need to know EVERYTHING about someone else's boyfriend. i dont mind listening for a little while but then after that it gets annoying...so i know what you mean.