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I want to break the news to my husband that I want a divorce but I don't want to do it in a nasty way, I always believe that respect and be decent always has to be part of a person even in rough situations. I know the news will hurt him enough, I just don't know the best time to do it and what to say... I invite people mature that has been in the same situation to reply here. Thanks.

2006-12-25 13:35:53 · 21 answers · asked by getting_a_new_life 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

21 answers

The only way to do it is to sit down with him, face to face and be calm, honest, and to the point. There is no right way or easy way to end a marriage. Good luck hun!

2006-12-25 13:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 5 · 3 1

Make sure there is a bullet proof glass between the two of you!

Just kidding I don't know I hate breaking up with people and if I were to ever leave my husband I would first find a new place to stay, separate stuff like the bank account, bills that were in my name, delete any naughty pictures or videos. File for divorce wait till the papers arrived pack up everything on a weekend he wasn't there write him a heartfelt letter and leave it with papers and some dinner in the oven. Change my cell phone number and leave no forwarding address.

I would only go about it this way because you never know how some people will react to bad news and my husband would probably freak out then have a major breakdown and I wouldn't want to be there for that.

There really isn't a nice way to go about doing this either way he'll be hurt. Just don't kick a dying dog & don't ruin a perfect day if you know what I mean.

2006-12-25 13:53:25 · answer #2 · answered by Tanya 2 · 0 1

There is no easy way to break that kind of news to your spouse....especially depending on the reason you are wanting a divorce, how long you have been married, are there children involved, etc....I respect the fact that you want this to be a smooth, respectful, decent split, but you never know how the other person is going to react....you can be hopeful that all will go smooth, but you can not control other people or there actions to such news. Be completely honest with yourself and your spouse, no matter what the truth behind your reason for divorce and remember that our choices in life always effect others around us. Good Luck and God Bless

2006-12-25 13:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by deadeyedoc132000 1 · 0 1

My ex wife gave me the news around Christmas time 6 years ago so from my experience,if you have kids or have family get together around the holidays WAIT until later cause it will be a constant reminder for everyone involved that Christmas was when you two split up.This is always a depressing time of the year for my kids and me because of so many memories.As for breaking the news, there is no good way but as you said be honest and respectful of each other.If things get out of hand it would be best to postpone the discussion until each of you can calm down and talk it out.Matters of the heart will get crazy very fast,emotions will fall apart.When telling him this put yourself in his position and think about what and how you are going to say each thing.Hope this helps in some way

2006-12-25 14:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

All you can do is sit him down and let talk to him in an open and honest way. Tell him how you are feeling. If your relationship is bad, then offer counseling. Even if it doesn't change anything it could still be a great help to both of you. If your marriage has been terriable and you just need to break away, then set him down and tell him that, but if he has been a decent husband and you've just grown apart, then tell him that. There is no easy way to do it, but if you are honest, considerate, and forthright, it will help him to accept it quicker and that will be better for both of you. Most of all, put yourself in his shoes and think about how you would want him to approach you in this situation. Good luck and do the right thing for both of you.

2006-12-25 13:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by Yomi 4 · 0 1

There is no easy way, even if getting a divorce is the wisest thing to do. You may want to wait to approach this subject until after the first of the year. Decide beforehand what it is you want to say. I sat with a friend all day in a coffee shop discussing how I was going to tell my husband. It was very helpful to me. When I went home, I went to him and said that our marriage was just not working, he began to cry. Give your husband time to process what is going on in your relationship. Good luck.

2006-12-25 13:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by maggiepirsq 4 · 0 1

That's good that u want to break it off in a mature fashion. These things happen unfortunately, but who wants to be unhappy in a marriage? You should speak to him in a business tone of voice explaining to him why you want to break it off. Explain how long you've been feeling this way (that will be the next question he will ask). DON'T get ur emotions involved and whatever u do, don't get mad just give love (from ur heart and soul) Thank him for helping u grow and know when to let it go.

Good Luck Bella, hope u find the one who best suits u!

Happy New Years!!

2006-12-25 14:18:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Most of the time divorce is a sticky situation. Have you tried marriage counseling? If so, before you talk to him about it,have a plan. How are your finances? Do you live in an equal property state? Did you sign a prenuptial agreement? Are children involved? (CUSTODY) Is there someone else? Good luck!

2006-12-25 13:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by honeyinmidga 1 · 0 1

Best bet is to tell him. he already knows anyway, we give off things when we are not happy. He knows because you don't look at him the same way anymore. You don't touch him or call him like you used to. So he already knows. Just tell him, he'll be sad, he'll be made he'll go threw all the normal things we go threw. Just don't do what my x did. She had an affair when our son was just 7 months old. Now that hurt. Don't let him think things will be the same don't get weak and reconsider just to cheat or lie. Tell him straight.

2006-12-25 13:39:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

Wait until after the holidays at least. Just sit down and tell him in a quiet peaceful way with no accusations and finger pointing. Tell him how you feel and why you want a divorce....then go from there.

2006-12-25 13:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

There is never a easy way! If there are children involved its harder yet because of perhaps a custody battle.....I hope everything turns for your favor....Good Luck!!! I have been there and done that! Don`t do it through Christmas. Wait until the Holidays are over!

2006-12-25 13:40:35 · answer #11 · answered by Carol H 5 · 0 1

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