I’ve gotta get a grip on my mind
I’m losing more every time
Melting into the floor
Staring at the open door
Screaming inside my head
I just needed a friend
To help me calm myself
And one day start over again
The sideshow begins to play
Living this life day by day
Nobody can see the truth behind
My happiness covered eyes
But what you don’t see
Can’t hurt you anymore
So I’ll leave you with this gift
As my body hits the floor
Take me out of this coma
I need to reveal this lie
Can someone help me understand
Or at least help me try
I’m sitting here wondering what the hell happened
How did I get here, what did I do, to deserve this reaction
I’ve paid my dues, lost my mind, torn at the seems
Hit me hard, make me wake from this terrible dream
So sick of the way that I am perceived
I always knew something was wrong
When I had to stop just to breathe
Keep in mind that I have 100% copyrights by law... thanks for the feedback!
2006-12-25 12:59:21 · 6 answers · asked by youdontneedtoknowme 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
It's really good, it has good rythmn, your rhyming is great, too. It has a deep message and that is probably what makes it attractive. It is a good beginning. I'd just make small changes, just my little toughts: after "start (all) over again" sounds a little better, maybe a little more conventional but you decide. Then, "my happiness covered eyes" is difficult to understand, I don't know...if you might want to change the sentence structure to make a little more understandable. And, after "what the hell happened" you could put "to me"..and then in the line following that you could find a word that rhymes with "me", which shouldn't be too hard. Eternity, see, free etc. Well, that's all. It really is a good song and I think the ending is great.
2006-12-25 13:21:28 · answer #1 · answered by A K F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mhm
i like it !
sounds like a linkin park song. hehe
2006-12-25 21:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by Barbie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad, not bad... but yeah sounds like linkin park... mayhaps you could sell the lyrics to em.
2006-12-25 21:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by Kain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds good.. are you emo? lol.. coz u see.. i compose songs too and i barely say anything to other composers about their songs. this one's pretty good..
2006-12-25 21:03:35 · answer #4 · answered by bea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
great hope that its not jus the begaining
2006-12-25 21:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its good:)
2006-12-25 21:03:41 · answer #6 · answered by calicutiegirl_13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋