Does this happen to you on the holidays?

Question

Ok to start off I am 20 years old gonna be 21 soon and my 1st cousins are all like 10-20 years older than me and they have teenage children ranging from 9-16 years in age. My cousins are well off being dentists, financial consultants, and owning their own businesses. When I go to there house I see there children always wearing something new and expensive and getting all of these expensive gifts like coach bags, juicy couture bags and slippers, (they must have about 20 of there own from the coach store each) ugg boots, abercrombie clothes, and american eagle to name a few. I always go there happy with what I got from my family for christmas because I know my family does not have enough money to buy me those kinds of things but, when I see them with all of their name brand stuff it kinda makes me depressed and I almost feel like I wanna spend all the money I have a buy what they have gotten. Like tomorrow I wanna go shopping and get a coach bag.

Is there anyone else in this situation who gets jealous and wants to have what others have? I mean I know money can't buy happiness believe me but it's just like I feel if I dress like them and have the stuff they have then people will like me more and I will like myself more.

Answer 1

i use to feel that way when i was younger ... i have very expensive taste so i work extra hard to get those things...and there alot of ways you can totally get the attire and dress at cheaper prices or if you read seventeen magazine it always shows how to get star looks for cheap prices its ok to feel that way but you shouldnt let it affect your selfesteem ...because ultimately it makes you feel better but its kinda superficial you have to like yourself... i mean last week i didnt have enough money to buy a pair of 70$ sketchers so i bought a pair of walmart shoes....and im happy there new and maybe next week i can buy some lugz :) i hope this helps girl keep your chin up and hey if you ever need so fashion advice or tips on where to get stuff a lil cheaper ;) holla acha girllllll :) merry christmas

Answer 2

Understandable, to be sure. However that coach bag, is not what you think it is. I have one, and it mostly hangs in the closet, I find it to heavy to wear. It has been there for years, when I was working, they were very much in style, and I was talked into buying one,by one of my girls. Now I want to tell you something that will make you see just what happens to those and other expensive bags and items, that we all get a twinge of envy when other have them and we do not. Go on EBay and take a look , search for the items you have seen at your cousins, and see if you still want to spend all your money on the coach or other bags.Or will you go back to being happy with the gifts from your family, or perhaps see that you may have both.

Answer 3

Don't worry about what others have, you can have it too eventually. Abundance is like the ocean you can stand out in it and carry a thimble, a bucket or your own pipeline. Besides, think of what you do have that they don't count your blessings you are healthy and fit and able to work to get these things yourself. You appreciate what you have because you know that it has to get worked for to get. They won't even appreciate it because it was handed to them on a silver platter. You can do anything that you want to. So there is nothing to be jealous of. It's not the material things that you need. There are so many more blessings in life. If you go meet a family that is worse off than you then your problems will seem much less important. Happiness lies within. It has nothing to do with material things.

Answer 4

Ask yourself if their having all these possessions you yearn for makes you less loved and respected by them. I'll bet the answer is no. Property, regardless of the cost, is still bling to some. It is just the way it is for others. Perhaps if you really knew their hearts you would find they want things they can't have or aren't willing to pay the price for. My sons gave me the best present today - one that cost them nothing. They went to Mass with my wife and me. This is the first time in many years that they have done this. We don't nag them, but they knew it was important to us. They seemed to really enjoy it. Maybe they won't go for a while again but it was worth far more than the expensive gifts they gave us. Merry Christmas or Chanukah as the case may be.

Answer 5

people who need coach bag, designer labels to tell the world who they are b/c they might not rise to the occasion of worthiness if they don't have a label to tell everyone that they are the best; soon you need a new label to replace the old one b/c the old one tells the world that you are outdated and misfit now and so on and so on ; can you buy time? can you buy health? can you buy love, real love? can you buy true friends? If you need the label, you are not confident in yourself to stand out there in the world and be you; if you are strong in your faith, spirituality and self worth as a child of God, you have something far greater than a label waiting for its replacement; search for the true things of value starting now and you will have a rich life. Empty soul is hard to fill no matter how many Coach bags you have; look at Madonna; buy a baby; look at Oprah, give away make believe cars and go shopping in an empty store buying 12 items to say you are supporting a cause; throw lavish weddings on money that can feed thousands; establish schools etc etc

Answer 6

They may wish that somehow they could find the peace and happiness that you obviously have with your family, and wish they could buy That!

Hint: 1) Don't buy a coach bag unless you really want one. Possessions can really bog a person down.
2) You say they've got 20 of them? Those things are going to be hitting the 2nd hand stores and even the Goodwill soon. Be there! (You'd be surprised who you'll see "fighting" you for them!)
3) Two or three unique or name-brand items signifies "class." Go for it. Wisely! More than that hints at shallowness and insecurity. You don't need it.

Answer 7

It's funny what jealousy can make people do, its best you control it ahead of time and accept the reality and not try to become what yuo can't. I'm in the same boat as you, my cousin just got a brand new Lexus, and they always have new stuff whenever I see them. But I dont let that get to me anymore, because I know I cant have what they have so I just shrug it off. I agree the holidays can be pretty rough time, if you have no money. But I suggest you dont go spending extra money just to impress them, or someone else. Be happy with what you have.

"It is not the man who has little, but he who desires more, that is poor."

Answer 8

once upon a time I was the kid with all the stuff. Then reality set in. Dad and Mom weren't going to float me forever. I had to get a job and stick with it. Not quit at the first sign of conflict. I went in the military.

It was good for me. I liked the structure and the comroderary (sp?). I made it on my own. My cousins were truck drivers and didn't live all over the world. They kept all the friends they made when they were kids. I think they were happier.

It's not what you have or what they have thet makes you, well, you. You need to do what makes you happy (and it's not the material things).

Have a great life. look for me on IM sometime (same name)

Answer 9

All it would do for you is give you a false sense of well being...and nothing to build your character.
I had a conversation tonight with a lady who is 78. She was pampered all her life and had the best of everything. She's a wreck now from the stress in her life. She still has everything but having great difficulty coping with things. It is pitiful really as she requires constant care emotionally. I was raised like you. I learned somewhere along the line that life was tough and a lot of work and accepted it happily. The result is that very little bothers me and I have no difficulty coping with changes or stresses. I am now glad I was never given things...it is just "stuff" anyway with a fancy label and there is nothing genuine about it. Hope it helps.

Answer 10

Its only human nature to see things that others have and it makes u jealous and makes u want what they have! All kinds of people live way out of their price range- thanks to credit cards! Keep the warm feeling in your heart the entire time u r at their home! They may be rich in gifts but remember: YOU ARE SOOOOO RICH IN LOVE! And thats what carries u thru the year! Everyone has felt this from time to time so if they say they havent they are lying to u. Your okay and perfectly normal! Just remember- hold the love close in your heart and it will always make things like that easier for you! Merry Christmas