Should I stay on my marriage for my children's sake even though I knew my hubby's having a relationship?

Answer 1

This is a tough call. I believe marriage is for keeps (the first marriage), if it was performed validly. His betrayal is him letting his side of the marriage down and he's violated the vows.

I do not know what kind of situation youre in, in regards to the kind of atmosphere in your home with this going on. Certainly, if your husband has stopped the affair and is making an effort, fight for your marriage.

Children get very badly hurt by seperation!! They do not want mum and dad apart (unless it's abusive). It's very very hard on you and I admire you for even thinking of your kids above your own pain.

For starters, I can only say for now do not make any rash decisions on this. If you believe in God, I would advise you to put it to alot of prayer and leave it in His hands.

As for the rest? can you find any spare time at all to talk quietly and seriously with your husband? And face him on it, remind him clearly of his marriage vows and if he wishes to violate them and to continue doing so, he is not only hurting you, but also the children, as it's putting you in a situation of possibly having to leave him.

The ball is in his court. Either he changes his behaviour and wakes up and starts being a loyal husband and father, or he continues doing what he's doing and he can face the consequences of possibly having a broken home, which basically is what he's already done. You are the only one holding that household remotely together, even though he's broken his side of it. For the sake of your children, you're trying to do this and really you are a very good person.

I would fight for the marriage if you can, but not to the point where you're doing all the fighting and it's a dead end. I would discuss this very seriously with your husband and I do not know if you are able to live in a situation like this, in full knowledge of an affair, all the while plasting up the cracks for the sake of your kids.

You're a wonderful Mother, what a pity you do not have a wonderful husband that matches you!

Answer 2

I do not think that you should stay together just for the kids. For a few reasons, 1. They will see you and your husband in a loveless marriage and may get the impression that this is normal - and then fall into the same trap and loveless life that you two are now leading. 2. As there is no love left in the marriage, you are likely to have arguments and rows, this will have an effect on your children and they will be living, waiting, for you to separate knowing that it might happen at any time, this puts unfair strain on them, and they might even believe that they are the reason for you arguing all the time. So in this case you could argue that it is better to split up for the children. 3. Unless this other man in your life has no feelings and is just using you for sex, you will loose him, He may be happy with the way things are at the moment, but at some stage he will want a 'life' with you. This means going to sleep with you, waking up next to you, being together through the good and the bad together. 4. I would assume that you are still quite young (between 35 - 45) you have a lot of life ahead of you and you deserve to live it as well - you deserve happiness. So does your husband. While you are still living together you will never achieve this happiness in a love less marriage. 5. At the moment you have the chance to dissolve your marriage, and still remain friends with your husband. I believe that it is better that children have two parents that love them, and respect each other, than two parents that hate and fight each other all the time. It will be hard on your children when you split, that can not be helped, but in the long run it is better for there development, to see two people who respect each other, agree to part and keep that respect, than two people who will constantly be fighting and living an unhappy existence. Good luck in your future whatever you decide.

Answer 3

If your children find out he's cheating and you stayed with him then it will only teach them that it's okay to let yourself be stepped on and make you look foolish. Your kids deserve a role model who's confident and will not stand for that kind of betrayal (and your husband needs to have some sense knocked into him as well). I say get out and find yourself someone who can treat you the way you want to be treated. A happy mom is a good mom.

Answer 4

That is going to be up to you and you alone. Have you confronted hubby, tried counseling, are you able to forgive if he stops this relationship? You need to look at all those things. Divorce is forever, children will no longer be in a 2 parent home....but if the trust is gone, and you can never regain trust in him, sometimes it is better to leave. I think if you are going to be unhappy with him there is no point staying. You need happiness and although it will probably be hard on the children, you can both remain great parents, just in seperate households. Good luck to you in whatever you decide and im sorry to hear you are having rough times.

Answer 5

Hard call. I think in this day and age...if you don't leave you look like a door mat. Worse a doormat to your children who will eventually grow up and think you were a heal to stay. If you have girls, you will send the wrong message. To tolerate infidelity makes you wimpy. Do you lack self-esteem? Re,member this image though it may hurt, he is laying in bed with another woman when he promised to love you and only you forever. Why would anyone take that?

Answer 6

No! People who use the excuse that they're staying in their marriage for the kids, are just not courageous enough to leave. Staying in a marriage for the kids is not good, eventually your kids will realize what's happening.

Answer 7

Only you know if your marriage is salvageable. It if is, fight for it. If not, leave. It hurts the children if you are unhappy. Either way I recommend you read the following book, it might help you with you decision in regards to your children.

The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study (Paperback)
by Judith S. Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis, Sandra Blakeslee

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

Staying for the kids is the biggest mistake you could make. Kids know when things are not right between the parents. Just make sure that you explain to them that they are not the reason for you leaving him. In the long run, the kids will be happier with having divorced parents than having parents that are together and have no trust or happieness.

Answer 9

eventually he may decide to leave to be with her, so maybe it's best to either confront him and give him an ultimatum, or get a divorce and at least u have your dignity, staying with someone just for the kid's is no reason. sometimes we just have to let them go, if they want to be with someone else, and move on with life.

Answer 10

This ebook might help you to understand what's wrong in your relationship and It also teaches what to do to try saving your marriage http://savemarriage.toptips.org
It helped me alot!