This sounds real mean but its how I feel, how do I deal with this?
2006-12-25 10:47:32 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't get married - seriously.
2006-12-25 10:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by teef_au 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. Still in the middle, of a nasty divorce. Women seem to get favored by courts and definitely the police.
Be careful here... A lot of people, but especially women, are gold-diggers, or focus more on your money or what you can earn than, on you as a person.
A man loses a lot when he gets married. A woman usualy gains.
Or so the stories go of poor men that I hear about.
For example: if you buy a house before you get married, and then get married, and both of you live in the house for a while, she is entitled to half the house, if not automatically, then she might have a case in court about this.
Love is great, but let's stop being idealistic, and beliving in Santa Clause, because most marriages end in divorce.
Marriage and Divorce are businesses, and it makes a lot of people rich off of you, and puts you in the poor house.
I think your best bet is to get a prenuptual agreement, and have 3 accounts: yours, hers (if she wants one), and a general account for both of you.
Document everything... keep receipts, take pictures of your stuff before marriage, because if you get a divorce, she can claim that the (TV) was bought during marriage, and lay claim to it. It seems ridiculous, but some people are spiteful, and fighting for it will make your lawyer rich.
Good luck, and stick to your opinions if you trully believe in something (not stubbornly, but if it makes sense).
2006-12-25 17:06:04 · answer #2 · answered by Sylvester L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can keep separate bank accounts and credit cards. If you make a big purchase like a house I think it should be in both of your names. This is something that you and your future spouse should discuss and agree on before you are married. I would also suggest researching the law in your state and maybe even discussing it with a financial advisor. I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you are feeling. It is hard to all of the sudden share finances with another person.
2006-12-25 10:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by Kathy M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are honest with your feelings and that is good. Money is one thing that couples generally do fight about. Sounds like you are also a little concerned about trusting a wife. It may be a legitamate concern if you've felt used by other women before.
Many couples have separate bank accounts, so that may be an option for you, but your wife has to agree. Maybe you'll find someone who has a good head on her shoulders and is independent w/her money as well. You may also find the girl who is so right for you that none of that will matter when the time comes.
2006-12-25 10:57:27 · answer #4 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) Prenup
2) Seperate Bank Accounts/ Seperate Pin Numbers/ Automatic Transfer for Paychecks
3)Seperate Book-Keeping Records
2006-12-25 10:52:23 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is a huge commitment where two people agree to throw in together forever so if you want to keep part of yoursef separate then you haven't found anybody that yu are willing to marry yet. when you find the right person one of the ways that you will know it is the right one is that you will be ready "mix" the finances
2006-12-25 13:42:27 · answer #6 · answered by David C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about this. Money works different for differnt people. I supose she works and is going to continue. I know coupls that have 3 accounts. His, hers and thiers. Just talk and figure out how the two of you want to do things from the start. I know some people that put straight time into a joint account for the bills and overtime in individual accouts for eaches play/shopping money.
2006-12-25 10:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good luck finding a woman ok with that! no woman would feel trusted if this were the way it was to be! i've seen it, the marriage never lasts! will be divorced in less than a year or so! you might just want to stay single or grow up, one of the two!
2006-12-25 14:29:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about love and sharing everything. If you're going to be that way, then good luck finding someone who'll stay married to you.
2006-12-25 10:54:05 · answer #9 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can pull it off for good, good luck to ya. It's a good idea, but then she'll claim your hiding something, and it's all downhill form there. Soon you'll be sharing an account. Been there, done that..lost my account
2006-12-25 10:51:22 · answer #10 · answered by Thelizardking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you are married what is yours is hers so don't do it if you are going to act like a puts!
2006-12-25 16:14:51 · answer #11 · answered by Scooter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋