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We told each other about how we feel about one another afew months ago, and we both love each other. We've only been physical a few times because we don't live in the same city anymore so it's difficult to see each other. I don't know how to get him out of my head and he doesn't know how to get me out of his. This is love, yet he's married...how did that happen?

2006-12-25 10:37:17 · 36 answers · asked by confused123 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

36 answers

This is not love you ding dong. If it was, he would have divorced his wife before getting together with you. You are delusional if you think he has genuine feelings for you. Why is he still married? Why is he still living with his wife?

You need to get your head out of your a*ss and start realizing that he is playing you. Ask him the questions and see what he says. He will probably feed you more bullsh*it about how he loves you and how he is going to get divorced, but not NOW.

Ha ha ha. Don't you see that he'll keep saying that to you until you get fed up with him? Leave him and move on. You don't even have a real relationship with this guy. Don't be so pathetic. Otherwise, you will be his mistress for life.

2006-12-25 11:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0 1

"...how did that happen?'

Duh.

You let it happen.

You encouraged it.

You knew what you were doing every step of the way, and so did he.

And, now you want to "get him out of [your] head".

Look, we've all had attractions to people that were "off limits". Most of us honor those limits and the commitments that come with it. Some of us don't. And, when we don't, we suffer the consequences.

Women getting emotional involved with married men get what they deserve. And, so do the men that share intimacies (emotional as well as physical) with one to whom they are not married.

You may be a wonderful person in every way...but, this one. And, one character flaw is all it takes to ruin your life and the life of many others.

This little play isn't over yet. It's only going to get worse and hurt a lot of other people. If there are children involved, it is all the more tragic.

You made the big mistake in telling each other how you felt about each other. Others reading this, take heed: there is no reason of any kind to share how you feel about a person in a committed relationship - even if it's an unhappy one. That's the first step to disaster. Avoid it at all costs.

2006-12-25 11:44:17 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0 0

It really amazes me just how many girls get on here asking the very same question and somehow they all feel the affair is their fault and not the married mans. Of course hes not going to get on here when he has the perfect scenario going on and guys always say the very same thing which is what the poor girl wants to hear. I dont know what ever happened to Im leaving my wife, she doesnt know how to treat me anymore, etc. Now it just seems that the girls jsut magically entered the affair with this poor married guy and none of this is his fault, so now the girls have to get on here and ask what to do now or how to get out of it. And of course it cant be anything but real true love but he just cant seem to leave his wife and kids to start anew again. If girls would just open their eyes and really seriousily think before entering an affair with a married man, there would definitely be fewer questions on here. Wake up here, this guy is a genuine pig here, doesnt really care about you or his family as long as you give him what he wants. It is so much easier to find a true boyfriend than getting involved in a affair, if you want true love. Good luck and have a fantastic new year

2006-12-25 10:52:13 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0 0

My experience is that the majority of people (men and women) get married when two things come together: 1) they are with someone who will marry them. 2) they are ready for marriage. The rest do it for other things: Love, They think they are supposed to, etc. But any man who marries today is a complete fool. Only a fool would make such a poor gamble on an EXPECTED LOSS (over 60% lose) the assets they have worked for, their current and future income, the inability to raise your children, your home, etc. I mean the EXPECTATION is that you will become a financial slave and be forced to pay for a wife you don't have, a home you don't get to live in, children you don't get to raise, etc. What moron would risk so much of their lives on such poor odds? And, the reality is that you don't get one thing that you couldn't have gotten by not marring. I mean it, there is not a single thing men get from marriage that they can't get outside of marriage. Modern marriage is a financial contract for women's benefit and nothing more. Period.

2016-05-23 06:24:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I answered a question similar to this one earlier so using bits and pieces of it again now.....

It's very commendable of you to have admitted to an illicit, once-physical, now emotional affair that he's having behind his wifes back, breaking his marriage vows. I'm proud of you for feeling guilty enough about it to come on Yahoo answers and ask a question about a inevitably doomed dead-end relationship that you already know the answer to, I'm sure.

Getting over anyone takes time and you will feel like your world has collapsed in on you, you don't need anyone telling you that or saying "I know, I've been there honey." But you need to end it whatever is going on, point blank. Nothing good will come of it.

All I can say is try to keep yourself busy, keep yourself occupied doing other stuff that interests you and helps to keep your mind off of him. It will be tough but you will be better off in the long scheme of things.

I don't have the magic answer or cure for heartache and heartbreak. Good luck and keep yourself clear of that man. Let some other woman be the one/the reason that his wife catches him cheating with, breaking up his marriage, his family/his kids( if he has them), etc.

ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER. Haven't you ever heard that before hun???

2006-12-25 10:43:18 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 5 · 1 0

First of all, you didn't just "find out" you were in love with him.

You have made a series of very deliberate decisions about him and your realtionship with him. It's no accident.

Knowing that you have made dozens of decisions about seeing and screwing a married man says a lot about you.

It says you are a liar. It says you are a cheat. It says you are a betrayer of trusts. And It says you are a selfish somewhat sociopathic person who does what she wants and the consequences to others be damned. It says you have no respect for your fellow woman. It says you can't look ahead to the time when just like he met *you* by cheating, he will meet your *replacement* by cheating.

Try to get some of that into your mind instead of this fantasy world of cheap sex that stabs another woman in the back every time he slips his cheating dick into you.

Oh and by the way, you won't change him, honey, despite what you are thinking.

2006-12-25 13:41:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

The only thing I can tell you about this situation is that it happens a lot and most of the time you will never be the one who ends up happy in the end. It could be because he never leaves his wife or b/c he does and you can not trust him.It could be true love but how do you know? When he leaves everyday how do you feel about he is probably having sex with his wife still,(even if he tells you he isnt) He may really love you, your chemistry could be very strong I know Ive been there.Its so strong its blinding. But be true to your self know what the future holds for yourself. If he does leave and you end up together how will you feel when the newness wears off and you know he is capable of doing the same to you, it will only cause you pain and heartache how will the relationship work if you can not be sure he will never do it again? Even if it is real, even so that will not stop how you feel later on, b/c you know what he is capable of..If he did not love his wife he would not be with her. Even if he is not in love with her, that comes and goes in relationships so if he isnt willing to work on it with her what will make him work on it with you..My heart goes out to you b/c its a damned of you do and damned if you don't situation. Just do what is best for your future. He is married and i promise getting his from both worlds in many different ways so you need to get yours also. Date, go out and have a good time as much as you possibley can. I hope that everything works out for you. Oh yeah and if he has children remember they will hate you and blame you so not only will you be taking on the struggle of just you and his relationship you will be taking on his past life and having to deal with it maturely and consious that children can not understand like adults can. Many years of heart ache from them. Good Luck I hope everything works out for you!

2006-12-25 11:04:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Ugh. First, look at what kind of person this makes you.

Then, look at what kind of person this makes your man. He's a cheater. What the hell makes you think that if he ends up with you, he won't cheat on you as well? He obviously has no respect for marriage and committed relationships or else he

a) wouldn't have ever gotten mixed up with you
b) would have admitted to himself that he doesn't love his wife (which he doesn't) and would have not married her.

Bottom line, he doesn't have the capability to love anyone. He's just really freaking happy that he has two women who want to be with him.

Stop feeding his pig ego and go find a single man.

2006-12-25 11:00:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You have a problem here but I am not knocking you it just happens. You need to sit down and clear your head and figure out what exactly you want from him. If you want him take him from her or just know you could have and move on. I think there are cases where people have affairs and marry and live happy ever after and I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE A HOME WRECKER NOR DO I BELIEVE ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER! GOOD LUCK!! These people that shame you are the ones that are afraid someone is going to take their man because they are not doing their duties!

2006-12-25 12:58:54 · answer #9 · answered by kd 2 · 0 1

Get a grip on yourself and have some self respect. The longer you stay away from this person, the better off you will be. Your feelings will fade in time, I promise. Since he is married, you do not belong with him. He is not available. You are playing with fire and will get burned. I can tell you from much age and experience that you will regret not turning around the other way and running.

2006-12-25 10:43:55 · answer #10 · answered by Grinchgrl 1 · 0 0

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