We went out yesterday - it was a jazz music festival and he was seriously concentrating on this other woman sitting close to us. We have had fights about this in the past and he continually promises to change and he doesnt stop. He admitted today that he indeed has a problem and cannot just stop looking. There is a look that is totally ok an normal for everyone but he stares and literally drops everything [eg, my hand] to feast his eyes. Every other couple around us were all loved up in each others arms and dancing, but him he was jus gazing at every woman but ME!! I can't go on feeling like he's looking for something/one out there. And what happens when I'm not around? Is he gonna do more than just ogle?? It gives me a bad feeling and is so embarrasing especially when the other woman realises that your man is checking her out and gives you either that "I'm so much better than you" look or the "poor thing" look. Can I have a witness out there??
2006-12-25 09:41:17 · 27 answers · asked by Bootilicious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know I asked but had asked in the wrong category altogether! Toon you need to get a grip...........
2006-12-25 09:45:25 · update #1
This is NOT appropriate or respectful. Not all men are like this. Ask him to stop and if he doesn't then start seriously checking out other men right in front of him. Make sure to go even further (asking for numbers etc) just to make an unbelievable impact on him that he can't ignore and will never forget. That may be the only way for him to really learn how you feel. Once he realizes how you feel he will know what you did was just for impact and not real.
2006-12-25 09:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by Will97 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A properly mannered person does not ogle other women in front of his wife. It isn't polite (and shows poor planning on his part). You should know him by now since you are married. If you think that he is searching for infidelity, you're probably right. Decide to fix what is wrong in your relationship or dump him. Right now you are being used as a stepping stone before the next move.
2006-12-25 09:50:51 · answer #2 · answered by mojonah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, is he really THAT obvious about it, or are you just super sensitive? Because my boyfriend looks at other women. I mean, of COURSE he does....I didn't castrate him when I got together with him! And what makes our relationship so great is that I'm accepting of his male behavior. Women do things that every woman does, and men do things that every man does. Every man looks at beautiful women. They're beautiful. It doesn't mean they want to sleep with them instead of you-- if it did then they wouldn't be with you at all. Get into his head a bit. Hell...I understand the allure of a woman's body, I oogle at them with my boyfriend! Men need to understand woman's behaviors and needs and women need to understans men's! It's so simple! And I truly believe that the fact that I'm accepting of his male-ness, keeps him around. It keeps him from feeling castrated (or "whipped", if you will) in our relationship. And I benefit from it the most because other people absolutely envy our happy, understanding relationship.
Honestly, I have no idea what really happens because I'm not there. But if I were you I'd first examine my own sensitivity/insecurity level and try to really rething whether your man is "looking at every other woman while every other couple around us was all loved up" or if that's just how you wanted to see it. Then....if your answer is no, he really is a bastard, then you should examine why you married his sad *** in the first place.
2006-12-25 11:33:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say another word about it to him. Not one more word. He knows how you feel about it and still he does it; hence, hes trying to train you into accepting it. Thats caca.
Here's what you do: Next time you're out together somewhere, do the same exact thing he does. Get your academy award winning actress out of the closet and put on your best performance. I don't care if you look like a lusty ho, just do it to the exact content he has done it. Drop his hand, ignore what he's saying, and just stare at some guy. He'll get the message right quick. I say do it, 3 or more times just to drive it home.
Good luck
: )
2006-12-25 09:56:16 · answer #4 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT NORMAL FOR HIM TO BE SO DISRESPECTFUL RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. I'm sure my husband looks at other women but he does it in a manner I don't even notice. There is absolutely no reason for him to think that this is okay. And, yes some women "get off" on other men checking them out..it's a shame. Don't stand for it. If you can't have a feeling of security with your own mate then who can you feel secure with. Does his dad do this? He must have learned that this is okay somewhere along the way.....make sure he knows it's not tolerated.
2006-12-25 10:27:27 · answer #5 · answered by Hear2Help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not married, but my boyfriend does check other girls out. I don't know if he is going to cheat on me, I've had a bad experience with other boys cheating on me, but he married you, loves you, till death do you part. At least these are the vows, but I know quiet a few people that don't honor their vows, but I always make comments to my boyfriend, like joking comments, for those other women. Just give them a look like I got the man, and your just some eye candy.
2006-12-25 09:49:06 · answer #6 · answered by amazon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont understand why you have a problem with this,im a female and always check out other men and my boyfriend checks out other women.
It doesnt bother either of us,infact we have a laugh about it.
You need to get some self confidence and not to worry all the time and as for what hes doing when your not with him,,well thats just paranoia.
Just relax and enjoy your marriage,if you cant then maybe you shouldnt be married
2006-12-26 00:00:07 · answer #7 · answered by freerange00720002000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not excusing him,cos i think he is a jerk-but this guy has a serious lack of confidence problem,at least he has recognised it, but if he dosent do anything about(counselling), then the problem will remain,and in time it will be you who has the lack of confidence problem.
I suggest you suggest to him to go and seek professional help(go with him,for the support),if he refuses,then i would get out of the relationship...go well and take care x
2006-12-26 04:34:34 · answer #8 · answered by mollie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him! He's a waste of time and is immature and selfish and clearly has issues about himself, as in, he is unsure of himself so therefore desperately seeks attention from other women. Tell him he has such a small d*ck that any other woman would laugh at him, that should scare him enough to even try anything with them!
2006-12-25 10:36:48 · answer #9 · answered by Princess415 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is true that men do look at other women, but they should do it discreetly if they have a wife who they care about. He obviously doesnt care much about your feelings. Have you talked to him about this? Maybe he doesnt realise how you feel? Make it plain to him, without going mad, and see if he changes.
2006-12-25 09:48:41 · answer #10 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋