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I am considering divorce but part of my reason for staying is b/c I truly love my spouse its just that my love has changed from an in love to just a Love.I will always want the best for him and want him to be happy. It's so hard for me to go through this b/c I know he will go crazy. I want to be life long friends with him. We have a son together and I know that is what is best for him. I just want this to happen with the least amount of hurt as possible. Any suggestions.?

2006-12-25 09:25:27 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

17 answers

I honestly didn't read past, ''I truly love my spouse''. That says it all. As long as love is still alive in your heart you fight for your marriage. Don't you know the enemy is hard at work trying to split you two apart, cause he knows a functional happy marriage pleases God?! Work hard, aina't nuthn bout marriage easy. Marriage is 24/7 work. Fight,fight,fight for it. Unless this man beat you like Ike beat Tina you can ask God to help you forgive and forget and move on with your marriage.......especially if you two have children.

2006-12-25 09:30:10 · answer #1 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 2 1

If you believe in God at all, you will realise that once you marry, that person is part of you for life. The vows for better for worse, for richer for poorer, sickness and in health, till death do us part are for real.

I'm very sorry that you feel the love side of things has changed, but very often people expect to have the same feeligns they had when they married and wonder why after time, the spark isn't there.

You are called to work on your marriage and not to rely on feelings. He is your husband and unless he has abused you, become a total drunkard, or he's a threat to you or your children, you have no reason to leave him.

if you truly do love him, and want the best for him, you will stand by his side and remain his wife, even if that honey moon love is not there anymore. This happens a lot and is a very difficult test to the faithfulness of the spouse.

Please, instead of giving up and leaving him, work on your marriage, pray about your marriage and love him as he is. Divorce is rampant now and people are opting out for all sorts of reasons. Falling out of love is a big one, because they wonder "what happened".

Faithfulness is required through thick and thin. He is still the person you married and so are you, though the love may have changed, the situation is what it is, you are both "one" in marriage. Unless you work on it, stay faithful, and sacrific some of the feelings you wish you had, you will be another statistic opting out becuase they don't have the "in love" feeling anymore and looking for greener pastures.

part of life is sacrifice and not always having things stay the same or on the level it once was. I hope and pray that you will remain with him and love him with the love you still have. I'm sure he loves you too.

2006-12-25 09:43:43 · answer #2 · answered by Gus 3 · 0 0

There is no way that you can divorce without hurting your husband and son. Your life will never be the same. You might be able to remain friends with your husband but he is not going to feel that way for sometime after you divorce him. It may come after a few years but not in the beginning. Your son will blame you for splitting the family up until he is an adult and even then it might be hard for him to understand. If you say you love your husband but your not in love with him, then maybe a good marriage counselor could help. My husband and I went to marriage counseling for a year and a half and it saved our marriage. We are more in love today than we were when we got married. It's usually because you have drifted apart and don't feel the intimacy that you had at one time. Usually both persons are at fault but one will blame the other. If there is any love there at all and not another man in the picture, your marriage could be saved. At least give it a try. What do you have to lose?

2006-12-25 09:38:44 · answer #3 · answered by sunny 7 · 0 0

I don't think that unless the marriage has gone south and even then could you ask someone who you truly care or cared about for a divorce without an awful lot of hurt. Yes it is a possibility that you can be friends.

I would suggest trying to be as honest as you can with your spouse. Just tell them how you are feeling and why. Maybe they feel the same or maybe they can change your mind. Maybe you just need to be reminded of how in love you are and they didn't realize you were feeling loved just not in love. Try to fix it if you can and if you know it isn't going to work for you then, be honest as you can and tell them you would like to try to remain friends and hopefully they will agree. If they are devastated and want nothing to do with you, that is the sacrifice you have chose. That can always change after the hurt starts to heal.
Good Luck.

2006-12-25 09:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by girlcop1 2 · 1 0

The only way you could make it hurt less is if you shoot him in the foot first. It will take his mind off of the hurt in his heart.

You say your love has changed from being "in love" with him. Sometimes love does change over time, and it's not a bad thing. It just means you are growing and it's time for him to catch up with you. I think you need to have a long talk with him, and tell him how you feel. Do not mention any ideas of divorce at all, just tell him how you feel, and see what he says. Good luck.

2006-12-25 09:38:18 · answer #5 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 1 0

No, there isn't. Also, the romantic part of any relationship can fissle over time. Marriage is about building a life together. The nature of the relationship will change over time. It sounds to me that you are looking for a marriage where fireworks will last forever, that doesn't happen. You need to consider your son before your own desire for fireworks. You are about to blow his world a part and this is something that will take decades for him to get over. Going to a marriage counselor would be a great investment for you, your husband, and especially your son. Are you having an affair with someone else? Because it would seem to me that otherwise you would be more driven to save your marriage and your son's home and happiness.

2006-12-25 09:31:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

Before your make your decision consider the fact that during your marriage you are going to be on an emotional roller coaster and the best news it is NORMAL! One second you really love him, the next you like him, the next you can't stand him - it's all part of the game of marriage. There are times I feel my hubby loves me more than what I love him and then there are times I love him just as much as he loves me. Embrace this emotion of just love, accept it for what it is, and it does not mean you have to run to the judge for an immediate divorce.
Now for your question: You cannot avoid hurting any one when you are going to dump a divorce on their lap. I wish I could tell you different - you know - give him his favorite candy bar - dance for him - none of it will work though.

2006-12-25 09:38:09 · answer #7 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0 0

Can you pour water on a table without the table getting wet?
Your description sounds incredibly foolish and fickle, if you're already married and by your own admission you love your spouse, but it's 'A Love' and not "In Love" what in the world are you trying to say with that?

I don't think divorce is the answer to your query. I'd suggest maturing a bit further, and considering what in life is most valuable to you. Prioritize your life, and stop trying to put juvenile lables on your marital commitment.

2006-12-25 09:32:31 · answer #8 · answered by somewherein72 4 · 2 1

What is wrong with you? You love him but you're not in love with him? And you have a child together? I think you need to get some help for yourself,this is the most selfish, self centered thing I've ever heard!! Are you for real or just making this up? I can't beleive I live in a world with people like you!!!

2006-12-25 09:34:13 · answer #9 · answered by chosen37 2 · 2 1

You have a son with him. Think about the kid. If he's not hurting you or cheating on you, then why would you leave him?

You married him! You LOVED him. Marriage isn't supposed to be something you can just take away because you're bored with who you're with! Don't you feel like you should stay? I don't care if it's not as romantic as it used to be. Talk to him about it...go to a marriage councilor. SOMETHING don't throw away your life just because you think you'll have more fun being 'in love' again.

2006-12-25 09:33:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

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