Hello, I’m wondering if you could give me some insight about a little problem I’m having. My boyfriend of seven years is convinced I cheated on him, but I never did, nor did I ever give him reason to believe so. I might have told a little white lie or two but in my opinion it was no big deal. He did however cheat on me in the past. Is there anyway to convince him that I am not cheating on him? I tried to tell him that I am not the type of person to do so but he refuses to believe me. I don’t want to be with someone who thinks of me that way when he is the one that’s in the wrong. Please help!
2006-12-25 03:32:55 · 26 answers · asked by Isabella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think you'll ever be able to "prove" that you have not cheated. It is entirely up to him if he wants to believe you ornot.
If he is a forgiving and loving person, he should be willing to wipe the slate clean, and start again. If he is not, then you will always be tagged with a cheat label by him.
I personally do not thank that this type of relationship , where trust is not present, is a good foundation for a relationship. The fact that he himself cheated on you tells me that he has no loyalty towards you.
I am sure there are better men out there. You really wnat to remain in such a relationship? Thank again....
2006-12-25 03:37:41 · answer #1 · answered by InspectorBudget 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to give a different answer, until I read the additional details of your question. I was going to say, if he thinks you're cheating on him, the only way to diffuse that is to be completely transparent, so that he knows that you are where you say you are, etc. Don't lie to him, even what you may consider a "little white lie", because all that does is create distance when he finds out you lied. Since this isn't the case, here's my real answer:
He wants to put his guilt for his cheating on you, girlfriend. Let him go, he's not worth your time or effort. Don't let your feelings of "I love him, and he will change if I love him enough" stop you; you can't love someone enough for them to change. The man would have to want to change within himself, your love cannot change him. Good luck.
2006-12-25 04:15:50 · answer #2 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no "type" of person who cheats. and why did you lie to him in the first place? to keep him in line, to let him know that you can cheat too? you're not going to prove to him that you're not cheating because you're still angry at him about the fact that he cheated on you. if you don't want to be in that type of a relationship you may as well get out now before you do something.
cheating is about lying, so if you have a problem with his cheating, lying isn't the way to deal with it, regardless of what the intent of the lie was. cheating often starts off as a way to right what's wrong with the relationship to begin with, and it's easy to convince yourself that there's some right or some purpose in what it is that you're doing, as wrong as it is. if you two can't resolve the communication issues that you have in the relationship there isn't much since in continuing on with it to begin with.
2006-12-25 03:38:44 · answer #3 · answered by collard greens with hash browns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, it sounds like he is dealing with his own guilty from cheating (past or present). He also may be dealing with some trust issues stemming from the "white lie" you told. I do not know how much time you spend together, but that is the key. The less you keep him guessing, the less likely he will percieve that you are cheating.
2006-12-25 03:41:37 · answer #4 · answered by curiousJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when a person is obsessed with accusing you of cheating, he is probably cheating himself and accuses you to justify it. you mentioned that he has cheated in the past. chances are he never stopped. I think it's time for you to move on and find a good guy that will love and respect you. Happiness is out there. right now you are in a mucky hole of a cheater that is accusing you to make him feel good about screwing off on you. Good luck.
2006-12-25 03:38:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you be with someone who dosent belive you ? And I suggest you tell him the white lie incidents, if you tell him those things instead of dening it completly you will have more credibility =) Oh and anothor possibility is he's tired of being with you and is looking for a reason to break up ?
merry christmas =)
2006-12-25 03:37:14 · answer #6 · answered by Plethora 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him before he accuses you, hand over the proof to you. If he can't believe you and believe in you, call it quits right now. From the sound of things he's the judge and jury and has found you guilty. Is that someone you want in your life?
2006-12-25 03:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cant go by your word then whats to prove. Its his concise messing with him. An its a good chance that he maybe still cheating on you. Maybe that's why he's is saying that your doing it to get the fouse off of him.
2006-12-25 03:39:46 · answer #8 · answered by deeva_missthang 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has his mind set on his line of thinking that you cheated on him!!! There is no real way of dispelling this that I can think of. Just be a good person and be true to yourself. If he continues to accuse you of this, then I would be rethinking the relationship!!!
2006-12-25 03:35:49 · answer #9 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
History shows when one person continues to believe the other person is unfaithful...it usually means they are the ones and feel guilty. Get away while you can...he is BAD news!!
2006-12-25 03:40:55 · answer #10 · answered by EchoAnn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋