The wife: Married to her husband for 18 years. Found out her husband was cheating. Has confronted the mistress and believed her husband ended things with her. She found out he lied, kicked him out of the house and doesn't trust him. He has been trying but seems distant and acts like he's still cheating. He spends the night at home sometimes and planned a 10 day trip for Christmas to see his family. She feels as though they have grown apart, but wants to have her family together (daughter).
The Cheating husband: Has the best of both worlds. Has his mistress living with him and his wife is fooled into believing she is gone. They both give him a hard time and pressure him. He just wants the "situation to resolve itself".
The stupid mistress: Knows that the man wants to be with his wife. She is still living with him and sees how hard he tries to deceive his wife. Thinks he is kind of pathetic but sticks around because she likes his company.
2006-12-25 03:28:00 · 25 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The wife in this scenerio is totally and completely being used. She needs to gather her strength, believe enough in herself and absolutely get out.
Not only will it probably not end with the man and mistress....even if it did, certainly he will again. He's lying to her (the wife).
Mistress and man will have to deal with their own realities.
The wife should not be abused in this way any longer. I heard this statement once in and thought it was great. About having kids and considering divorce...
To the wife...
If you had to describe your relationship with your husband in terms of a house, describe what that house would look like.
x
x
x
x
Now make a decision as to whether you want your child to grow up in a house like that.
2006-12-25 04:42:37 · answer #1 · answered by ♦♦pixiechix♦♦ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually don't believe a marriage should be broken up, BUT in this case the husband was given a second chance which he blew by lieing about leaving his mistress. Worst, he is still living with her, so I would have to say leave him! As for him wanting the situation to be resolved, WELL he is the one holding the answer, he needs to leave his mistress or stop trying to get back with his wife. As for the wife, she already did all she could, she gave her husband a second chance. I really feel sorry for the daughter for she is stuck in the middle of all of this with no say-so what so ever!
I woud advise the wife to move on and find someone worthy of her and her daughter. Good Luck!
2006-12-25 05:31:38 · answer #2 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These situations although painful tend to work themselves out with time. The people I feel sad for are the children who only want a normal family and feel torn between love and loyalty to their parents. This family needs to start communicating with each other and talking about how much pain this situation is causing. Even the mistress is caught in a no win situation and for her I feel sympathy as well. Obviously this man has been lying to everyone and as a result has caused a great deal of heartache and anger. I know this whole situation seems overwhelming now but I know from experience it will probably be over in a few months and then everyone can try and patch their lives up. I urge you to suggest they get some professional counseling otherwise their will be a great many unresolved issues that can cause harm to those who carry them. Good luck.
2006-12-25 03:34:26 · answer #3 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wife can stop living in a dream world, & kick the husbands a** to the curb. The husband can learn that men are true to their word, & that he's acting more like a spoiled kid.
The mistress can learn that being a mistress is only a waste of her valuable resources.
I am sure that the author of this question is the wife.
2006-12-25 03:38:38 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GEt back to doing the things she did to get him and the mistress will disappear. The mistress is filling the gap that has been left from inattentiveness of the details that bonded them in the first place. MEn cheat because they are chasing the fantasy that he experience with his wife. But people forget this, until it is too late to repair. So people just fall out of love.
2006-12-25 03:36:17 · answer #5 · answered by Sports Maven 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wife has more sense then all of them. she has kicked him out and still has a feeling that he is lying.
the husband will never stop cheating.
the mistress will stick in there stupidly hoping and waiting for him to be with her.
i think the wife ends it all if she can harp on the husband enough.
2006-12-25 03:32:58 · answer #6 · answered by wants2know 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the wife needs to end this, and let her husband have the sneaky mistress, he cannot resolve it because he is the one who caused it and keeps it going. if the wife thinks it will change and the family will go on like before, she is truly living in a fantasy world. his wife is in denial when all the sign es are there for her to see.
2006-12-25 03:51:30 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a no win situation ... the mistress is too stupid to realize that a cheat cheats on everyone and the wife is foolish to allow him back into the home. The cheater is just lazy.
2006-12-25 03:35:54 · answer #8 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this story is able to change in a positive way because now nobody is happy.......
ok, for me, first advice for the wife built an strategy for survive this situation..
1)visit a good psychiatry-THERAPY URGENT!!
2) go to the gym, do something healthy (I imagine her right now, crying in the sofa watching romantic movies......)
3)give to her husband more reponsabilities with his daughter
4)buy new things,clothes,makeup,do something to the self steem
5)talk to a lawyer about......in case she must divroce she can have proves that he was cheating her....take advantage of that..!!(just in case)
6)dont worry about the mistress today is her, tomorrow is another one that is not the point.He has a problem he wants everything,sounds inmature.and she (wife) has a problem too her self steem is low.......
7)Why she wants to be with a guy like him?......daughter is an excuse......therapy,therapy therapy!!!
2006-12-25 03:40:56 · answer #9 · answered by mariposa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the wife is stupid her and her daughter deserve better
the husband is scum of the earth
the mistress is a supid b@tch and needs to find her own life doesnt she know since he is still with his wife he is also cheating on her too. i think the cycle may stop when the daughter gets grown
2006-12-25 03:35:43 · answer #10 · answered by southern angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋