Some gay men are very open and comfortable at work, others are rigid while many are tight closeted. If you're gay, what is your comfort level being gay at work, and what did you do to achieve that comfort level?
2006-12-25 02:54:58 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
As my self i am straight, but i have a really close friend who was gay and had this same situation. It became really hard because where he worked alot of the sectaries and his collegues would constantly ask him out and constantly ask him stuff about his personal life. He began to feel really trapped and it felt like he couldnt express his true self without telling people he was gay. he couldnt even place a picture of his male companion on his desk without people asking "hey, your friend/brother is cute, can you hook us up." So finally one day and after a long time in thinking about it, he came out. At first he came out to very accepting people, and then slowly he just let himself go. His boss was actually accpeting and really didnt care about his sexual life and what he did when he was off the clock. He did get alot of his collegues talking about the kind of person he was and roumors flew. Things were shakey for a few months, but soon everyone kind of eased up off his back. There are still the occasional gay jokes, but hes never been happier. People lay off their assumptions about him, and he has never been happier.
It really depeneds on where you work, who works there with you and how comfortable you are with yourself. If you know it could be a bad idea, then dont do it, but if you feel that it has to be said than say it loud and proud....goodluck hope this helps
2006-12-25 03:04:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be easier and comfortable if your officemates knew about your sexuality from the very first day you work. At least there would be less gossip and no one will keep on asking if you are gay or not. You don't have to act out everyday. It is stressful! You do not need the added burden. Those who are closeted have their own reasons. It really depends on the situation you are in. If your work demands that you be straight like the Army or Police, then you have no choice. How to achieve that comfort level? Be professional in your job. Do what is required of you and not let your sexuality be an issue. Same with women. They have to work hard to prove they can do whatever men can do. And most of all be helpful and good to your officemates. If they see you are a hardworking and good person, they will defend you in any circumstances. They will also be more comfortable and understanding with your sexuality.
2006-12-25 03:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by PAXson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I came out at work simply by saying "My partner and I" and stuff like that when it came up in conversation. Of course, this isn't true for a lot of people, but I've found that often if you just act like it's no big deal, people kinda go, "Huh, it must not be a big deal..." I'm pretty comfortable with it, although I do have the feeling that my boss is pretty conservative and probably doesn't really approve. Which is fine by me, since she hasn't actually said anything negative to me. I guess on a scale from 1-10 my comfort level is about a seven, because I didn't feel that I could ask my boss for a reference for a volunteer application I was sending to an LGBT organization. I'm pretty out there sometimes and pretty much a wimp other times, so I kind of wish I'd had the guts to do that.
Anywho, the long and the short of it is, we should all be able to be out at work, and hopefully if enough of us can have the courage to come out, it will become so commonplace that no one will blink an eye. I do understand why some people are scared to be out, and that's okay too.
And by the way, I believe that everyone should be WHO THEY ARE at work or in any situation where they feel that they can. If who you are is someone who "flames and swishes around," then by all means, go for it. Being who you are is not shoving it in people's faces. I'm a fairly dyke-y bisexual, and I sure as hell don't try to tone it down at work. If they can't accept me for who I am, then I don't care what they think. I love the office ladies at my job, and they seem to accept me for who I am. Talking about your partner, being who you are, etc. are completely fine. Don't let anyone tell you that you're "shoving it in their face" by doing those things. That's a homophobic idea, and it's sadly a mark of many of our internalized homophobia that we would call these things shoving it in their face.
2006-12-25 05:46:28 · answer #3 · answered by jenjubatus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other than a stint in the US Marine Corp where I felt the closet was the right choice I have been out in every job I've had. I work in a stereotypically masculine environment and have had very few problems. When I am partnered I take my partner to company functions as appropriate and have never hesitated to have a man I'm seeing meet me at work for lunch and stuff.
I can't imagine how people are able to live a lie...I couldn't do it.
2006-12-25 06:57:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very comfortable at work, and I work as a 911 dispatcher for the police department. I think I may have gotten lucky with coworkers, but every job they haven't had any issues. I have a coworker that is a Jehovah Witness, and even he and I are friends. He doesn't accept homosexuality in his religion, but as a person he knows that I am awesome. If they get to know you as a person, and not as "a gay" it can be very relaxed.
2006-12-25 03:08:09 · answer #5 · answered by The Gay Argentian Seal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My comfort level for being openly gay at work on a scale of 1-10 is 9 and i just continoue to work hard and my supervisor appreciates me more than others.
2006-12-25 02:58:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
On a scale of 1-10, I'd say, oh, somewhere around 15. I've never hidden the fact that I'm lesbian. When I talk about my partner, I say "my girlfiend...". My sexuality has never been an issue. And it's not like I'm the only open lesbian working there. My girlfriend is even fully covered by my insurance through work. How cool is that?
2006-12-25 04:15:59 · answer #7 · answered by Eat At The Y 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never had a problem being out at work. I just be myself and if someone doesn't like it, too bad. I don't flaunt it or be a total flame, but who cares if I don't hide the fact that I am gay. It's good for people to know gay people so they can get over all this "going to hell" nonsense
2006-12-25 16:00:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very comfortable being open at work. I achieved it by being honest without being confrontational. I don't throw my being gay into anyones face. In other words, I don't flame or swish around.
I enjoy being masculine, but not macho.
The real key may be just being comfortable with yourself. When I accept myself as I am, what others think of me isn't as important.
"Know thy self and to thine own self be true."
2006-12-25 03:08:15 · answer #9 · answered by RJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been out as a lesbian for a while before I started my current job. I just started to get to know my co-workers and their view points and then started to talk about my partner. I have been at the same place for over 3 years, been with my partner for a year, and everyone has met and knows who she is. I couldn't imagine being in a place that was closed minded and wouldn't invite my partner to functions just because we are a same-sex couple.
2006-12-25 04:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋