my 6 year old sons fathers gifts overshadow what i was able to buy. i was only able to buy a few smaller well thought out things. adaquet and appreciated. his dad bought the biggest and most expensive things toys'r'us had to offer, withouth considering the boys interests. overindulgent. he also probably wont show up, as he constantly lets the boy down. he dropped the gifts off two days ago for me to wrap. i picked out a few of the smaller things - from santa (legos, robosepianv2, hot wheels). i hid the big things (roboreptile, remote truck and farming set) for when he shows up. is this being too hard? he stoppes by for 5-10 minutes every few weeks. all the boy wants is to see his dad. i don't want him to grow up thinking love and forgiveness can be bought off. any advice?
2006-12-25 02:19:19 · 14 answers · asked by mz.star 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I can see why he's the ex. What an idiot. Give your son alittle more credit for brains. Kids learn quickly these days, and they 'sense' everything from their parents. He's going to be watching YOUR reaction to everthing. So, just say something light-hearted about his father. Like "you know how your father is, and SMILE, even when you don't feel like it. Make it a joyous occasion, always, no matter what. THAT is what he will remember. Overshadow the bad with your motherly love. Nothing on earth can top that!
2006-12-25 02:28:44 · answer #1 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My kids dad was the same way. He spent no time and paid no child support but would send expensive gifts (rarely) I put a stop to it all and told him he was not allowed to shower my kids with false love and materialistic items. Clearly sending the kids the kids the wrong message. I told him if he couldn't/ wouldn't support them year round with (child support) or spending actual time with them.. that he wasn't having access to them at all and it has been this way for about 6 years now. I hate his guts and now so does his children (he has repeated lied to them and they are fed up) I hope my kids NEVER have a relationship with him because he is now 37 and STILL a liar and user but I will not try to stop my kids from having a relationship with him IF they choose to do so. YOU have to be the one to make the sound judgement calls that are in the BEST interest of your child. I thin it was a good idea to not give him all the items at once. Take care and good luck.
2006-12-25 02:27:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a little too soon, but it all depends on your instincts and feelings. Some couples move quickly and have a lot of feelings very quickly. Personally it would be a great gift but I would feel a little uncomfortable that early on, but I'm a tough one, as I don't have the clingy and ready to move fast characteristics of most girls... again, it all depends on your feelings about how she feels, does she act like she's close to you already? Do you think she'd give you something this meaningful yet? It's all your gut feelings!
2016-05-23 05:41:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son has 2 adults in his life that will model behavior for him, you can only be the best parent you know how to be, and that will
include being gracious and supportive of a less than stellar father. Your son loves him, and probably always will regardless of how self centered and self serving his fathers behaviors are. Children are incredibly perceptive of feelings and motives, and even though his desire for time with and appreciation of his father at times will be hurtful to you, just know that he will always know and in the future recognize that you were the one that was always there for him. Don't ruin that by being petty, negative or
demeaning where is father is concerned. You don't have to be
supportive of his fathers behavior, just be supportive of your sons
feelings without bashing his father in the process.
2006-12-25 02:33:09 · answer #4 · answered by chika 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sad isnt it, how some just write off their kids. some even start new families and blow off their 'old' kids. and lucky you, you get the front row seat to it all, having to watch your children endure the "truth" about the absent parent.
well, i think they do it out of guilt. they want to be the hero, when in fact, all the kids want is to have the parent. your either a positive influence, neutral influence or negative influence in a childs life.
all you can do is not bad mouth him (or her in some cases) and BE THEE positive parent. stay strong and hang in there. They depend upon it.
here are some links that may help you with some needs:
2006-12-27 13:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust me when i say i know where your coming from. but believe me at your sons age he does not realize the cost of these items. when my son was this age i found that he played more with them least expensive items.so don't worry about that. now for his dad. you need to have better communication with him, and by the sounds of it, this may need to start with you. this bothers you and your the only one that can tell him that it does. give him a call and tell him that you need to talk.then sit down and explain to him that buying your son these kinds of things is not what he needs that what he needs is his dad.if you don't talk to him know one will. so pick up the phone, wish him a merry Christmas and invite him over to talk.
2006-12-25 02:32:55 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with your ex. He is feeling guilty about not spending enough time with the child and over compensating with material possessions. He needs to spend more time and less money. Little boys worship their dads.
2006-12-25 02:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your child is anything like mine he will break it all anyway so you wont have to worry about it!
if ex is open to talking, suggest a gift voucher or give him a list next year of what the child really needs, tell him it would cost less than all he bought now
careful of roboreptile - he bites ankles!
2006-12-25 02:23:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to his father and tell him what you just told us. Tell him it is more important to be a good father then buying big gifts that don't mean anything. If he wont listen do not accept the gifts any more .
2006-12-25 02:25:13 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be glad that he is willing to buy them anything. My ex-husband says since I got remarried let my new husband take care of them, (my 3 children). I get $83.00 in Child Support a month!!!
Try talking to your ex.
2006-12-25 02:40:57 · answer #10 · answered by purpleone726 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋