Should I continue with my marriage?

Question

My husband brings out the worst in me, I cannot take it anymore but I have a 6 year boy who will be shattered, what do I do? My husband is eccentric and we have been married for 11 years now

Answer 1

Sometimes the people we love and need the most bring out the worst in us. They tend to hit that special little button inside us that is so sensitive that we lash out. Instead of looking for a way out why not try to find out what the problem really is inside of you? You might be surprised what you find...and just maybe you can save your marriage and family. Give it a try before you throw it all away. Remember if you think your child will be shattered how happy will he be if you can resolved your problems without a divorce! You all deserve an honest effort! Good luck and best wishes...

Answer 2

... This is a very tough situation. But can we get any details? What is it exactly that makes your husband bring out the worst in you? How is he eccentric? From what I've seen so far, I'm going to warn you that divorce is a nightmare. My best friend went through it and has never been the same happy girl I used to know. She's more withdrawn, and there is always a gap when she comes to my house. (My parents are still together, you see.) This would be very traumatic for your young six year old, so my advice is to find out what your problems are. But like I said I don't have the complete information, so I can't give adequete advice. I'll pray for you. Good luck!

Answer 3

Don't base your actions on what you perceive your child would do.... Being eccentric is actually a good thing, in if you mean that his tastes run other than Britany Spears, and the bimbos of Hollywood, the stupidity of prof. Sports, pop musci, rap, pop tv....and the like...... I'd regard myself as eccentric -- I'm a bronze sculptor, love organ recitals, Bach, Mozart .symphony every month with season tickets, and couldn't tell you who the lastest was doing to the newest in california culture, and don't watch much t.v. But then, I'm educated and smart.Haved trudged thru the bush in Africa, and learned heiroglythincs before going to Egypt so I could read what was in the tombs and on the temples.... now that is indeed eccentric, and I'm very proud of not being or knowing much of pop culture.... What of your husband, maybe you chose the word being eccentric is actually a good thing. Egotistical, is not, selfish is not, self-centered is not, control freak is not. Does he rate in here somewhere????

Bottom line, if you are unhappy, and you see no nice future together, get into counseling, learn to communicate without rage. Marriage is respect, admiration, passion and trust... and communicatin, time together, time to provide a loving home in which to raise a child, tolerance, and time by yourself to pursue some of your hobbies. It is also agreement on how extra time and money should be spent. See if a few sessions would help you communicate your needs better without being insulting --- it is not anything any of us do without some training...And there is a book you ought to read before you both go... will make your dollar go farther.... called "The Assertive Option" still in paperback, a classic in the field of communication, still used in psyc. classes even today, cheap in paperback at Amazon.com. Could be at your house by Thursday.... Good luck on... looks fixable. Happy holidays.

Good luck, hon

Answer 4

It depends on what you mean by the worst in you? Just eccentric? 11 years is a long time. I gave a 12 year marriage up because mine was boring. Oh but what a crazy world I stepped out into!! My husband never lied or cheated I just got bored and got out. But there are so many liars, abusers, people that won't care anything about your child, druggies. It is real scary and if it is just pet peeves bothering you try counseling because it does emotionally bother children. Think before you jump.

Answer 5

The ones closest to us usually can bring out the best and the worst in us. I don't think you should give up on 11 yrs together just because he gets to you. Obviously there is something bothering him., Try to get him to talk to you, tell him how your feeling before too much distance comes between you, or it will become harder to get back to that mutual loving place. Accept your differences, and concentrate on what made you fall for him in the first place.. Give it your best try. Your son is watching and learning from the two of you. He deserves to have a mom and dad who are happy and show love to each other every day. MERRY CHRISTMAS : ).

Answer 6

If your husband is bringing out the worst in you, its an opportunity for true growth in internal character. You cant buy opportunities like that, and although its hard, its good.

Sons identify who they are and who they can become by the stature of their father. If you yank the rug from under him now he will never forgive you for the rest of his life. If his dad is a decent man, a good man, and takes good care of you, then you should stay. If you go, your son in teenage rebellion will leave and hate you, and will search for his father.

Eccentric can be managed. He isnt violent, he isnt stupid, and he isnt yet another cookie-cutter person in a cookie-cutter world. Nobody is normal - there is nobody who isnt eccentric after you know them 11 years.

Answer 7

It's tough when your at a the point in your marriage that your asking yourself that question. I'm doing it currently also. R u sure it's your husband that brings out the worst in you? Or is it that you're not happy with something inside of yourself and taking it out on the marriage? Just think about it....sometimes we are the cause of our own unhappiness.

Answer 8

You haven't given any reason to call it quits. What is lacking in some relationships is that we fail to remember " what it takes to get a mate, it takes to keep a mate". We let the flames dwindle down to a flicker, and when the flicker goes out, we want to give up, that's the time to dig deep and remember what it was about that person that drew you to them in the first place, and build on that foundation again. Don't become a statistic, be a survivor, and a winner!

Answer 9

The things your husband are doing now is shattering your little boy. Leave and be happy.

Answer 10

Have you tried to reason out why and how your husband is able to bring out the worst in you?

I read an article "How I Tamed My Husband" by Amy Sutherland in the Reader's Digest. Wish you could lay your hands on it and may be try the exotic-animal trainer tactics she applied on him and succeeded too.

Good luck!!!