Met in a clean friendly chatroom 6 months ago. We just seemed to click. He was very attentive, nice, caring. I know about the "too good to be true" thing, but still I can't stop thinking about him.
2006-12-25 01:18:24 · 23 answers · asked by Hear2Help 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To answer some of your questions. I am married. No kids. Husband works out of state. Lonely. Clear enough for you>
2006-12-25 01:35:30 · update #1
men f. Yes, that's exactly it.
2006-12-25 01:45:45 · update #2
Wow, thanks Zsuzi I really appreciate the attention you gave to my question. This so called "relationship" has been for about 6 months now. We have progressed to phone conversations. I know alot of these feelings are b/c of my current situation. Believe me, I'm not knocking down his door to meet him or even thinking about ending my marriage over him. This feelings I'm having just haven't been stirred up in awhile. Excitement, curiosity, feeling appreciated, wanted etc. Yes, I do have issues in my marriage and my husband is aware of my loneliness with his job away. He is home 6 days a month and now..he won't even come home that often. Now, he'll come home every 3 months or so (enrolled in school). I feel like our future is on hold with progressing to children and moving forward together and I am evaluating my relationship as a whole.
2006-12-25 02:59:17 · update #3
What you cant get out of your head is not this guy but a fantasy. Stop and really think about it.You have never met him. Chemistry doesnt happen over the internet but in person. I wasonce set up on a blind date. I talked to this guy on the phone and OMG I was half inlove with him. He was awesome ON THE PHONE. Man, was I ever disappointed when we met. NO chemistry but still really great guy.
Sounds like you know the stem of these feelings. You are alone a lot.Maybe this isnot how you envisioned marriage. You sound disappointed and dare I say, a little bored.
This online relationship could be damgerous for you because you seem to be vulnerable. He WRITES all these fab things and you can easily fall for it bc you want to hear it and well,it's kinda fun and exciting to be thinking of all the great possibilities with someone new.
So,you could dump your husband and hook up with chat dude who you have never met. And then when you meet himand he is a loser,then what? Ormaybe he looks like Brad Pitt and is the nicest guy when you meet and then as you get to know him, reality sets in and you realize HE too has a job,gets cranky, relationship issues crop up......will you be back in the chat roomlooking for another man tomake you feel better?
Marriage is work.It's sometimes not very romantic and your husband is out of state working. That's hard. Maybe right now this chat dude guy is a huge sign that your marriage needs some attention and TLC. I don't know what else is going on for you because I dont know you and your relationship but I do know that being so swept away by someone you have never met is a sign that you are a little desperate for something. Even when you MEET an amazing guy,you need to keep your emotions in checkand give it time tolet someone show you who they really are. Isit possible that this guy knows how vulnerable you are an is preying on you? Be careful. Don't tell him how lonely etc you are.
Read my posts. Just left a crap realtionship but let me tell you.....the first year he was textbook perfect. Then he became textbbook abusive.
Spend time with friends when lonely.Go to the gym and get in the best shape you have ever been in. Focus on your carreer and talk to your husband about how you are feeling.
Get outof that chat room.
2006-12-25 02:15:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Thanks, Mel, for asking this question, but more so for NOT asking "should I leave or should I stay" which would be ridiculous.
It's not unusual to fantasize, I mean that's what girls and women do in a romantic sense, RIGHT? Men do it too to some extent. The gorgeous stranger is always great fantasy material.
But I think the BEST choice you have is to stay away from chat rooms. If married life doesn't give you enough responsibility and chores to keep you busy, then you really aren't totally involved in your marriage. You should make that your first and foremost priority TODAY.
Good Luck
2006-12-25 01:28:22 · answer #2 · answered by snvffy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
fantasy does not equal reality
never has and never will
can you ever even once remember a time
when your fantasy and reality ended up matching up?
i would say leave your marriage as fast as possible
- it is not working for you.
and explore other people like this guy...in an environment of integrity
would you be surprised to find out that ur chat room guy is chatting with 11 other woman and you are just one in the dozen
and nothing special to him?
when we men want to get into your goodypants ..we become like salmon swimming up river....AND there is no end to our charm and care and kindness and decency in this persuit .....
our quest for fresh new p u s s y makes us pretty much i n s a n e lying a s s h o l e s and of course it is all hidden
be wise girl! he knows you are married and is chatting you up - what does that tell you about his integrity?
......and it is not his fault - the p u s s y carrot dangling in front of us makes us plum nutty
heck answering this question, honestly is making me think about your p u s s y and wondering if i have a shot!
2006-12-25 06:57:54 · answer #3 · answered by On It 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have to agree with 3 of the answers so far. Why are you cheating? Emotionally, you are still cheating. Is there something missing in your marriage? Work it out and leave the chatrooms alone. Tell your friend you are sorry but cannot talk with him anymore. Pray for God to remove him from your mind. Good luck!
2006-12-25 01:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by njspanteach 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you could properly be astral vacationing edit: Yep, I incredibly have self assurance that whilst we pass to sleep, our spirits leave us, and there are situations we could pass someplace or meet somebody in spirt, and then in actual existence if we ever have been to fulfill them or come around an analogous place, it may be the strangest feeling of dejavu. i've got had that feeling in some situations, and as quickly as I meet those human beings, we frequently click rapidly. yet existence is packed with mysteries eh? that's what makes it so thrilling. lol
2016-10-06 00:09:15 · answer #5 · answered by lininger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone is in a chatroom instead of out in the community you can not experience any type of true chemistry. If you are married, how do you have time to be chatting?
2006-12-25 01:30:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I kind of know exactly what you are going through. It's a tough call and I can't really tell you what to do. On the one hand, you are married...maybe happily maybe not. On the other hand, you've clicked with someone and if you take the step to meet them you may be doing more than you imagine. It's a tough call.
2006-12-25 02:21:57 · answer #7 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweetheart; you're lonely and this man is filling a void in your life.
You're confusing heartfelt feelings with sheer lonliness. He's giving you attention, telling you what you want to hear. Whether he is being himself, or whatever.
Fact is; online...and you've got to be extremely careful; #1 you're married. (should be expressing these emotions w/your husband) and trying to work it out.
# 2; online....hey, he can be Brad Pitt and you, Angelina Jolie. It's all fantasy.
P.S. btw, "if it's too good to be true".......It usually is too good to be true.
2006-12-25 02:08:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah its clear enough. Its clear to me that you need to either fget divorced or get out and spend time with friends to help you with your lonliness before you do something really stupid with the loser answer of " I was lonely" as an excuse.
2006-12-25 01:39:44 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard of masturbation? The only way for you to fix your problem is to masturbate (allot). I'm sorry your husband works out of state but maybe that's a good thing. You'll be masturbating and thinking of the other guy. You met this other guy on the Internet and you want him sexually? Please masturbate!
2006-12-25 01:47:48 · answer #10 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋