Hello there, and Merry Christmas to all. I have a little problem that's been bothering me a bit. It is my co-worker and friend. She is from another country, and about my age. We confided in each other, and I even stayed with her during her surgery last year. Our relation is mostly at work, where we hang out together, go to luch, etc. This has been going on for about 6 years. A couple of months ago, another girl from her country was hired, and now when we go to lunch, this newcomer always comes along. Soon after we sit, the two of them, start carrying on a conversation in their native language, which I don't know anything about. I often find my self sitting at the same table with both of them, but are not able to join in their conversation because I don't speak the language.. I don't like to interrupt people when they are talking, so I just sit there feeling uncomfortable and ignored. If this were you, what would you do?
2006-12-25 00:53:02 · 18 answers · asked by carisondamove 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
That's tough!! I'd make other lunch arrangements and let them have their time. It MAY be that your need to find other friends will extend beyond the lunch time. That's sad indeed. If they can "hear" when you say you feel left out, try to explain but the prospects aren't good. It's tough to leave one's native language. I'd say she's being at least insensitive if not rude.
2006-12-25 01:09:19 · answer #1 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the advice i can tell you is that she might not notice what she's doing. at the same time you are be a little selfish. She may not keep doing this or she may feel that you are feeling uncomfortable around her then she may see how upset you really are and she might try to talk to you about it. and don't change over friends like that don't go trying to learn a whole different language. just try to discuss it with her without her native friend there. I think you should try that because you will be surprised how many times people discuss there problems peacefully than fighting over it like little children. HOPE YOU GET THROUGH THIS DARLING!!!
2006-12-25 09:21:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its rude. Maybe your friend isnt tryign to exclude you, maybe she;s just happy to have found a new friend and one that speaks the same language. Try telling her that you miss the time you used to spend alone with her, suggest a catch up just the two of you or even organize a day a week when just u and her have lunch without the new girl
Good Luck
2006-12-25 09:03:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little rude, but she's just an acquaintance right? ANd you have to deal with her every day? I'd just leave it alone. But I'm a very passive person anyway
2006-12-25 09:43:50 · answer #4 · answered by leena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell them that if we are to continue spending time together as a 3 some...the spoken language MUST be English so we can all convosate together. Tell them you feel uncomfy otherwise.
2006-12-25 09:22:19 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have know her long another to tell her how you feel tell her you want to join in the conversation and i sure she will listen to what you have to say 6 years a long time
2006-12-25 09:27:39 · answer #6 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since she's the one you're closer to, i think you should talk to her about it and explain that you feel uncomfortable when they converse in that manner, because it really can be considered as rude... maybe you can tell her that you'd really prefer it if they speak in english... tell them to speak in their own language if you're not around... and if ever they have to do that again, ask for your consent first... good luck...
2006-12-25 09:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by get.real 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rude and comparable to somebody whispering in your presence and not letting you in on the secret. You are not being childish, but remember it may be rude to somebody from our culture but theirs may be different. Talk to her and let her know how you feel, it just sounds to me like they do not want you to know what they are talking about.
2006-12-25 08:58:53 · answer #8 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you r feeling tht she is rude.but feel it frm heart....is really she is rude.
Dear... after along time she get someone of her native place....tht make her happy.......... rather then feeling uncomfertable with them......tell her.what r u feeling...
you guys are gud frends frm a long time...... definetely she will understand.........
if u will not tell her ur problem...she won't be able to understand...
All the Best
Take Care
2006-12-25 09:26:14 · answer #9 · answered by Sweety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she noe how to speak in ur language and she still speak in her native language wib ur friend.. i am eu.. i surely felt hurt.. myb abito f jealous..ermm.. try talking to them..ask them wad they toking abt.. myb eu can pick up new language ;).. or try to ask them speaking in ur language..
2006-12-25 08:56:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋