He is very meticulous, when renovating the house, he must have everything perfect and to his liking, otherwise he gets very upset and wants things redone. If he goes fishing he becomes very happy. Is it possible for him to change his stubborn nature? My mum also wants to know whether anyone else's husband is stubborn?
2006-12-25 00:19:06 · 18 answers · asked by Lilliana 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not my husband, this is my father.
2006-12-25 00:57:34 · update #1
People only change if they wish to change. Your mother can sit down and talk with him as a husband and wife and tell her how it bothers her to see him upset when something doesn't work out and try to reassure him that everything doesn't have to be perfect. Somethings may have to be just right to make sure it is safe. She should ask him why he feels everything must be perfect. Maybe in his childhood it had to be that way. They need to communicate. He had to be that way when she married him, why is she asking this now? She should find the good in him and praise him for all the good things he does. That isn't so bad to be analytical. There are worse things for someone to be. Encourage her to discuss her feelings with him and hopefully he will open up to her.
2006-12-25 00:22:54 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one of the great divides between people is setting the level of attention to detail and if two people have different levels then problems will result as in the matter of cleanliness where one is casual and the other is not-the books on psychology suggest that you can talk these things through but i am not sure you can-however if the person is not prepared to negotiate that is a warning sign;you seem to be inviting a comment to the effect that there is some dramatic mental effect going on here;on the question of other people's husbands you would be surprised how widely the perception of what is reasonable tends to vary as people can be very peculiar.i am sure that i will find that other people will speak of this subject in terms of control issues and you can see problems of high .and low mood swings .i would not see it as stubborn and i think he needs to retrain and see it from outside and learn to compromise-find out what is pressuring him and negotiate;if you really can't abide it you need to move on and remember again that refusal to discuss it counts as a refusal
2006-12-25 00:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by p9trick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another word for this is "perfectionism". Some men become compulsive to control small things around them. They do this because they are insecure within themselves. This comes from the experiences of their own childhood. When he is fishing, he has less of a need to control, so he relaxes. You must help him learn to relax. He must be assured that it is ok to be more open, to listen to others, to have fun. Can he do this? It depends on his age and his willingness to try. It also depends on your ability as a family to really communicate. Most wives put up with behavior in their men that they find upsetting or frustrating. The only answer is to talk. You must be patient, but firm. This is to help him. He needs to be more peaceful in life. Unite as a family and talk him toward that understanding.
2006-12-25 00:23:28 · answer #3 · answered by Isis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
short answer: she should not count on being able to change him. You know what they say about old habits.
I think your mom should consider understanding where he is coming from and why he is stubborn. Personally, I have found out that "stubborn" people are the easiest to persuade, once you find out their "key," so to speak.
So, instead of cursing her luck for getting a stubborn husband, and instead of passing judgments at her husband, she can benefit more from stopping the judgment and starting to relate to what he does and how she can influence him.
Good Luck.
2006-12-25 00:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by hmmminterrresting 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men in general can be stubborn, but people are different. He won't change. Men that end up changing usually find the flaw in themselves and change without anyone's permission or advice.
Sorry, but it's the truth.
2006-12-25 00:29:20 · answer #5 · answered by matthaumschild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is both stubborn and petty. What do you think? Is it worse than your mom's?
Everything must be to his liking, his mood and his way.
Or else, he would say that others are not open enough to see things from another point of view!
If you are interested, I would like to be your friend.
Do messege me!
2006-12-25 00:45:59 · answer #6 · answered by sassy girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many husbands are stubborn. They don't change. be sure. You have to change yourself if you want peace. Now it depends on you.
2006-12-25 00:23:59 · answer #7 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your father? is obviously an anal retentive type personality. i assume he is an older man, so can he change? probably not, or he would have changed by now. if she don;t like it, tell her to find another man. as far as the last question, what the hell do you think? you are obviously both very stupid people. your mother was irresponsible when she passed her defective DNA on to you. we all hope that you have not reproduced yet. please dont have any children, there are far too many stupid people on the planet. do the world a favor and remove yourself from the gene pool.
2006-12-25 00:32:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
No it is not possible to change that.
You can tell your mummy that it is never good to change someone execpt when it is a child
\
dr Phil.
2006-12-25 00:21:41 · answer #9 · answered by gjmb1960 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will not change. Why does your species marry us, is it only for the challenge of turning us into something we are not
2006-12-25 00:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋