And of course, we love each other. we are emotionally intimate and we kiss, hug, touch...and express our love too. But when it comes to sex, he's not intrested and even when i try speaking to him about it he looks disinterested in even discussing the issue and immediately changes the topic. Friends i know, do it atleats 4 times a day at this point of their marriage ( just a month)......and i can't help feeling frustrated with him. And he tells me before his marriage he was very interested in sex, used to masturbate and even fantasise about other girls.......Problem is even when i try and discuss the issue he acts dumb..as though he doesn't get how much this is disturbing me? Before marriage we were not sexually active so there was no way to find this out though we have talked about sex many times and all those times he's told me he would have sex with me often after marriage. His main problem he says ( after hours of crying and questioning him) he says he can't hold an erection.
2006-12-25 00:12:49 · 26 answers · asked by desperate newly married 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he might be gay
2006-12-25 01:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
why did he marry you at all? Your marriage has not been consumated yet, so if he continues this? You can easily have your marriage annulled, as sexual intimacy is part of sealing the marriage (unless he had some kind of awful accident). For starters, you must feel deceived. Whatever problem he has, he may have hidden from you, OR he's lost interest and may have his mind on someone else. Regardless, if he's denying you sex, or he's not responding, you can get out of the marriage. It depends on how you feel about eachother otherwise? Are you totally in love? And if he TRULY cannot perform sexually, can you overlook that and continue being married to him regardless? You need to sit down with him and talk this over and ask for an explanation. He hasn't consummated the marriage, it's not even valid until he basically has intercourse with you. So you can end the marriage now and find someone else. If he has a genuine problem (impotent), then he should be upfront about this and seek help, and how long has he had this? and why did he lead you into a marriage knowing he had tis problem? This is most unfair whatever the explanation is. And if it's not that, then what is going on? Where is his mind? Is he just someone that doesn't like sex? Or has he got someone else on his mind? Definitely, lay it out to him and demand answers, or seek an annulment.
2016-05-23 05:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by Kiley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably just embarrassed by his erection problems. This is a very sensitive issue for guys especially younger guys that struggle with it. It makes a guy feel like less of a man. Continue to show him that you love him and that that problem doesn't make you love him any less. You might also want to talk to a professional about the situation because there are medications that can help. I hope this helps.
2006-12-25 00:20:08 · answer #3 · answered by GB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure, following "The Norm" of newlywed love, people do have sex often right when they're married. Sounds like he may be very stressed and overwhelmed about being married in general. This surely could affect an erection. However, it would seem like he'd be very interested in finding out about you sexually. He may be scared he can't live up to the fantasy. Hope this helped
2006-12-25 00:37:02 · answer #4 · answered by Hear2Help 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he is having an erection problem then he may need to see a doctor. i know men hate to see a doctor for most thing and this is one of the more difficult things to get the man to see a doctor about. but he needs to. now you said that you have talked to him about this many times. well stop talking girl and start acting.try seducing him. if he don't even seem the least bit turned on by this, then i would say there is more to it than just an erection problem. because even men that have this problem will still do what he can to satisfy the girl. if you know what i mean.if he is not even willing to do that. i would say something else is going on.
2006-12-25 02:13:15 · answer #5 · answered by here to help 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so he has never ever ever had sex before? marriage is unified by sex. that is what makes you ONE. no, you don't have to do it constantly. but like someone said before, you are not truly married. marriage is not all about sex. but it is a little about sex. Have you tried to do any oral stuff with him? if he has never had sex before or had you (or anyone else) touch him then he does not know what he is missing out on. kudos to you for not having sex till you were married though.
everyone is saying to take him to a doc. which is the logical thing to do. but he may not want to. or you might be scared to even ask him to go. make sure to tell him that he is still ALL MAN. tell him how much of a man you KNOW he is. i have heard that some men question their manhood. Last, but definitely not least, pray about it!!!
2006-12-25 01:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by jmd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok.. I don't know your age group or his but failing to hold an erection can be a bit more of a stress problem or him having a psychological problem. Before going an spending alot of money with an md, I truly recommend both of you to try relaxation techniques. It will help him stimulate the organ and increase the blood flow. It sounds more like he needs to be the one in the bottom and you need to take full control of the situation. I recommend you to do some reading and sharing those findings to him. I don't know if you had tried to do some form of stimulation to him but you shall try it as well. If nothing works, then go with the sex therapist and as a last resort your md.
Hope this help you and if you want to know which websites I am referring to, please contact me.
2006-12-25 02:51:35 · answer #7 · answered by SemperLeader 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get him to see a doctor as a precautionary measure (to make sure it isn't a medical problem such as high blood pressure which is a silent killer causing stroke) but there is medication to help him hold his erections (sexual stimulation may also help) providing there isn't a medical condition that could eliminate him from medication to help hold his erections; I think probably why he masturbated and probably still is masturbating is the erectile difficulty. Your frustration is warranted but help is out there so don't let the world pass you by. May your love sparkle soon! Merry Christmas!
2006-12-25 01:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is obvious about what he has to do. He needs to start with going to a urologist for a medical check up and then go from there. For your part, sweetie.....BACK OFF with the temper tantrums and the hours of questioning and crying. Geeeeesh!!! What is the matter with you?? Don't you know that this makes it all the worse? Be supportive, compassionate and stop bugging him about sex or you will see the demise of your marriage before it even had a chance to begin!
2006-12-25 00:18:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you msy feel frustrated, and may even think that it's you, but try not to feel that way.
Your best bet is to try to be loving and supportive. Make a doctor's appointment, and offer to go with him. There may be a medical basis for the issue,and the doctor can sort that out. If it is a psychological issue, the doctor can make a good referral.
If you go with him, you can also get a good understanding of what is going on.
best of luck to you.
2006-12-25 01:12:02 · answer #10 · answered by slightlyunsettled 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Medical help is necessary, should he not be able to hold an erection. Then what was he hoping to attain with an erection, and how did he go about to have one.
Married a month and marriage not consummated with intercourse is grounds for an annulment.
2006-12-25 03:29:16 · answer #11 · answered by mypalnow2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋