I'm about 4 weeks pregnant. I moved out of my hometown for college and my parents and my boyfriend live there. I work 30 hours a week and go to school 18 hours a week. I'm afraid my lifestyle doesn't fit a child in my future. Because I believe I'm still too young to have a child and because the people closest to me live 200 miles away. I'm really lacking in childcare and support. Is an abortion right for me?
(Unfortunately I refuse to consider adoption)
2006-12-24 21:20:01 · 29 answers · asked by Eva 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
With all of the excuses you stated, why didn't you consider those BEFORE having sex at all??? Now when the baby is in you already, he/she has to be responsible for your action??? Yes, it's your body, but you're NOT the one who created the baby. Therefore, don't play God. You don't have the heart to give your baby for adoption, but your heart is into KILLING it??? I don't see any logic here. Sorry for judging you. But I can't understand people who complain why they're pregnant while they should consider that BEFORE having sex at all!
2006-12-24 22:52:59 · answer #1 · answered by bogey 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
In addition to asking whether abortion is right for you, you should also be asking if abortion is right for your baby. None of the circumstances of your life are your baby's fault. She did not ask to conceived and she does not deserve to die. Whether your lifestyle is suited to a baby or not, you have one. She is small right now, but her heart has been beating since her third week of life.
Yes, you have some challenges in your life, but none of them are worth the life of your child. If you let someone hurt her, you will never be able to bring her back. If you had a three-month-old, would you kill her because you are busy with work and school and because your family lives a distance away? I'm sure you would not. How, then, you can consider killling the baby inside you? She is utterly defenseless, completely innocent, and depending on your for protection.
There is plenty of free support available for you. You just need to seek it out. If you go to a pregnancy care center, they can give you referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free ultrasounds (at many centers); free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; and counseling and emotional support. They will sit down with you and help you work through every single issue you are dealing with. Believe me, they have helped many women in your exact situation, and they can help you. You can find a center near you by visiting:
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp
or calling 1-800-395-HELP.
Here are a couple additional support groups:
Support for Pregnant Teens:
http://standupgirl.com/site/index.php
Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org
Make sure you have all the facts before you do something you will regret the rest of your life:
Photos and Video of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html
Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com
Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm
Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm
You CAN do the right thing. You just need to resolve to protect yourself and your baby and go from there. The most important gift you can give your baby is life.
2006-12-26 15:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Eh. It might be. The thing that makes me pause is that you had to ask. Had my birth control failed when I was young, I would've thought "@#$*. Abortion." I wouldn't have been happy about it, but the choice would've been clear.
Talk to your boyfriend, and see if you can't find some unbiased counselling.
From Planned Parenthood:
"Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about abortion.
True False
1. No one is pressuring me to choose abortion. [ ] [ ]
2. I have strong religious beliefs against abortion. [ ] [ ]
3. I look down on women who have abortions. [ ] [ ]
4. I'd rather have a child at another time. [ ] [ ]
5. I can afford to have another child. [ ] [ ]
6. I can afford to have an abortion. [ ] [ ]
7. I care about what other people will think. [ ] [ ]
8. I can handle the abortion experience. [ ] [ ]
9. I'll go before a judge if necessary. [ ] [ ]
10. I would do anything to end this pregnancy. [ ] [ ] "
And, yeah, why not adoption? I mean, I'd just be jumping at the chance to go through pregnancy just to hand the baby over to one of the lovely people here. WTF is it with the "gimme yer baby" crowd here? "I'm barren, which gives me the right to try to make decisions for other people. I'm appallingly rude and judgemental, but I'd make a fantastic mother! GIMME A BABY DAMMIT!" Theirs is not a convincing case for adoption. Far be it from me to cr@p on you for your choice; pregnancy is no cakewalk.
And:
"At this early stage of your pregnancy, the embryo is the size of a pin head, roughly 0.0006 inches."
http://www.pregnancy-info.net/week4.html
A "baby" it is not. Try and make up your mind as quickly as possible, though.
2006-12-25 11:39:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
The decision is yours to make and your choice alone; no one should be able to make it FOR you.
I had an abortion because the condom broke and regardless of what some of these ignorant people say - I do NOT regret it. I do not see an embryo as a baby only the potential to be a baby. I wasn't in a position to have a child and I had tried to prevent it.
I am now pregnant through planning, can provide for this child's every need, and can give it a good life. It would not have been possible had I given birth a few years ago.
Good luck to you - no matter what your decision - but make your decision soon.
2006-12-25 14:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
My husband and I have two very beautiful daughters and would be more than happy (as would many parents) to adopt your beautiful child. If you did have an abortion could you live with that? Best of luck to you in whatever you choose just know that my heart goes out to you.
2006-12-25 13:54:43 · answer #5 · answered by Colleen N 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
before i begin, i am pro choice...you should be able to decide on your own and i support your opinion, whichever route you choose......but, let me ask you this...was it protected sex with a faulty condom, was it faulty birth control..or did you just lay there and ooh and ahh and GET the baby? cuz if it is the last of the three, then you should have to deal with what you have created, regardless of the convenience. Childcare is always available, WIC can always help with expenses. I guess it just depends on how you wound up pregnant.....im pregnant as well, and as much as it doesnt suit my lifestyle...i realize, it was my mistake that got me pregnant, not an manufacturers or a medication...so i have to fit the child into my life..nothing else...as i said though..it is your body, and completely up to you...just consider ur options before you jump on the opportunity to abort it.
2006-12-25 05:26:10 · answer #6 · answered by dreamzindigital_20 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i hate the idea of abortion.
can i ask, why do you refuse to consider adoption..??
i can understand if you dont think youre ready for a child,
but guarauntee, there's another family out there who is, but cant.
and an abortion has been known to cause emotional distress for many patients.
do you think you can live with the fact that the life you hold in your body right now would be thrown out in a dumpster?
you would never know how your child would look,
what kind of things they would like,
or the kind of person they would be.
even if you were not to raise the child,
you would still know that you gave up your baby to someone who wanted him,
and that you changed lives for the better,
not just the couple, but your baby's life, as well as your own life.
you wouldnt have that doubt in yourself so many women get after an abortion.
things go wrong with abortions sometimes.
could you live with the fact that aborting this baby may risk your chances of having a normal baby later on in life, when you might actually want one?
the choice is entirely yours, of course, but these were the things my mom thought about before she chose not to abort me.
2006-12-25 05:42:42 · answer #7 · answered by ajakhatarinaak47 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Are you still with your boyfriend and does he know? I think he has a right to know and to give his opinion. Only you know if you're ready for a baby yet, but think it over very carefully as you can't change your mind after the abortion.
I personally could never have an abortion. I've got 3 beautiful sons, I had my first at 18. But I don't judge those who do, but don't agree when women do it just as a form of birth control!!
Good luck with your decision!
2006-12-25 05:28:26 · answer #8 · answered by Cowgirl 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This to me is not fair. I can't have kids and here you are wanting to end your child's life. There are govt. programs you can use to raise a child. I believe in personal choice and all but it still is not fair. You don't want to consider giving a baby to someone like me who CAN afford a child and who will love it and let the child live to it's fullest potential. Have you told your family or boyfriend you are pregnant? Probable not. You just want a quick way out without any problems for you. So why even ask the question.
2006-12-25 05:35:15 · answer #9 · answered by vamp_of_jade 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Dear Mom,
I am only one day old and I love the feel and taste of you...
I am one week old today and I love to look at you, see me smiling...
I am a year old, I can say Mama, and Da Da...and many other simple things...I can blow out my birthday candle...I am almost walking...I love to smile and laugh with you...
I am two years old and getting into everything...I can talk to you and understand you...
I am 5 yrs old and going to school now and learning a lot of new things...
I am in high school now and I have several boyfriends and lots of girlfriends...I am doing good in school and an looking forward to my first date...and my prom...
I am engaged now and looking forward to my wedding...
It is my wedding day now and he is so handsome...we plan to have lots of children...
That was my life with you until you aborted me...now I have lost it all...
Or...my stepfather just walked me down the aisle, look at my handsome husband...we will have many beautiful children...
2006-12-27 20:20:05 · answer #10 · answered by deburleigh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋