My wife is 30 years old and I am 35. She always has less interest in sex, whereas I have a healthly inclination towards sex. We love each other, hence donot want to seperate, also since we have a 5 year old kid. She is also not agreeable to visit a doc. Can someone suggest some councellor in Calcutta?
2006-12-24 20:38:49 · 35 answers · asked by trantor_man 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a normal behaviour of women in India. After certain years of marriage they feel fed up of sex. No there is no way out of this problem with divorce or doctors. You are the best doctor for her. You need to give her some time and space. There are some tricky Q that needs to be answered. I would not wish to discuss certain Q in open forum, Please contact for free email counselling and discussion to nischai_org@yahoo.co.in
2006-12-25 00:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The correct answer depends on the source of the problem. How can you solve it if you do not know WHY she doesn't want to have sex anymore?
I understand that all the people here offering concrete advise on how to solve the problem have the best intentions in the world, they want to help you and your marriage. But I think that this could be dangerous for two reasons mainly: A. They are not certified proffesionals, and B. they do not know all the facts of the problem. So even if something here sounds like a good idea, I would urge you to go to a proffesional, otherwise something that has worked for someone else can proove to be a wrong solution for your case. If you really care about your marriage and your 5 year old kid then try searching in the yellow Pages, some information desk for health services or a web search for Calcutta.
Last but not least, if your wife has distanced her self from you in general and has mood swings it might be something more serious and it could be the reason she does not want to go to any doctor or counselor. You could visit a mental health web site with free online tests and answer it as a family member. According to the results you should seek help from a marriage or mental health proffesional.
Good luck.
2006-12-24 23:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't about any one in Calcutta and i don't know your wife, but I do know we share the same problem, and I'm older then she is. Sometimes, it takes a lot of patience on your part to deal with her. She may be having some emotional problems going on about sex for what ever reason. She may also be having hormonal changes starting. I started through the "change" at 38, but it made me opposite, however, now I'm having her problem. I don't know how she feels, but I know I do not like being this way. I have always had a healthy sexual relationship with my husband of 20 years, and now all of a sudden, for the last year, I'm having a problem, He went to the doctor and got something for himself, as he is a diabetic and heart problems, which the meds can cause a problem with your sexual life. I guess I need to do the same. But please be patient with your wife. It probably has absolutely nothing to do with you, but something is going on with her. IF she wants to email me, tell her she may, and maybe we can help each other. Sometimes its just someone listening and understanding helps us. (ikesrecovery59@yahoo.com) I hope you won't let this break you guys up. Marriage is much more then a sexual relationship, however, it sure makes for a happier time getting along. So just be patient! Love her like you always have!
2006-12-24 21:56:16 · answer #3 · answered by Ikeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seperation or divore is easy, staying in love is difficult. u should first try 2 b nice 2 her. 4 women, it is how they spend the whole day that is imp 4 good sex. is she too overworked or stressed out? do u help with the kid. any in laws issues?. first try 2 b nice, take her out, just the 2 of u, give her presents(thoughtful...not expensive) and gently try 2 talk 2 her. dont force the issue. if thre r no emotional problems then u should explain 2 her(lovingly) and get to see a doc who will do a thorough examination.but in all this DO NOT FORECE URSELF and dont make it a big issue or it will turn into a fight.
2006-12-25 18:36:18 · answer #4 · answered by sky r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The purpose of being married is mutual love and respect. Women want security and in some way she's insecure with you or frigid. Perhaps there is someone else, even a woman involved and she doesn't want to feel like she is cheating her new lover, but with a 5 year old it is doubtful, but not impossible.
No,I am not in Calcutta.
2006-12-24 21:11:32 · answer #5 · answered by AJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An agreement was made when you married...spoken in vows or not . . . this is not fair of her to put you in that position of not sharing sexually with you anymore. Have clear communication conversation with her...if she won't talk with you...then it is more than fair to seek joint marriage counseling for understanding and clarity. If she will not agree to counseling...and it is not a medical issue...then something else is brewing here. I know...my ex-husband put a nix to our ' intimate ' relating that way 3 - 4 years before we divorced...other aspects of our relating revealed itself to the point where I finally stepped forward and said ' no more ' (after many talks and counseling, which he agreed to begrudgingly) Today I am peacefully divorced. Sorry, it happened, but I'd rather be alone by myself then be alone in a relationship. Your relationship shift is new to you, she's changing the 'rules' without thought of you...step in and see what is really going on. Sex is not just for the sexual 'release' . . . it's also for connecting emotionally and more intimately expressing love, desire and heart connectedness. She is not sharing sex, what about intimate snuggeling with no sex...is that relating still there? Something is going on...check it out.
2006-12-24 20:50:34 · answer #6 · answered by onelight 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's not agreeable to visit a doctor and you are looking for a counselor for her? Give her some space if she doesn't want to have sex don't have sex with her, don't drill her about why she doesn't want to have sex and dont go searching for counselors, doctors and whatever else for her unless SHE wants them. Which it sure doesn't sound like thats what she wants.
Heck I wouldn't even want to do you if you were trying to get me to go to a dr, counselor or anything else and i'm only 20 and love sex. Like I said earlier give her some space us women don't like the whole being pushy/controling/guys acting like our daddy thing.
2006-12-24 20:42:51 · answer #7 · answered by Hot Mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Encourage her that it's O.K. to feel whatever she feels. Tell her when see wants to explain why, you'll be all ears. Suggest the counselor to her first, and if she's agreeable THEN search for one, or if you have a faith that you practice, go to a leader to discuss it. I believe it's O.K. to masturbate, but only when she's not around b/c it may push her farther away from sex.
2006-12-24 21:30:06 · answer #8 · answered by miki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best counselor would be someone she trusts and respects. Perhaps a religious counselor from your religion could help.
Religious authorities usually marry the men and the women. And religious authorities often can and do help to continue the marriage through counselling.
2006-12-24 20:59:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she isn't puttuin' out the goods (to you), separate. She is in a "breach of contract" when it comes to the wedding vows. If she isn't having a physical affair, she may be having an emotional one. In any event, she isn't living up to her commitment. Why should you be punished for wanting to do your part?
2006-12-24 23:24:17 · answer #10 · answered by mojonah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋